“I’m a liberal, but that doesn’t mean what a lot of you apparently think it does. Let’s break it down, shall we? Because quite frankly, I’m getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. Spoiler alert: not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines:
1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. PERIOD.
2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that’s interpreted as “I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all.” This is not the case. I’m fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it’s impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes “let people die because they can’t afford healthcare” a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I’m not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen.
3. I believe education should be affordable. It doesn’t necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I’m mystified as to why it can’t work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt.
4. I don’t believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don’t want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can’t afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist.
5. I don’t throw around “I’m willing to pay higher taxes” lightly. If I’m suggesting something that involves paying more, well, it’s because I’m fine with paying my share as long as it’s actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare.
6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water. Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion-dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn’t have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live.
7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. (BTW, prayer in school is NOT illegal; *compulsory* prayer in school is – and should be – illegal). All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I’m not “offended by Christianity” — I’m offended that you’re trying to force me to live by your religion’s rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia law on you? That’s how I feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on me. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don’t force it on me or mine.
8. I don’t believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe they should have the *same* rights as you.
9. I don’t believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN’T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they’re supposed to be abusing, and if they’re “stealing” your job it’s because your employer is hiring illegally). I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc.).
10. I don’t believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc. It’s not that I want the government’s hands in everything — I just don’t trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc. are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they’re harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation.
11. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I can’t get over an election, but because I’ve spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past.
12. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege — white, straight, male, economic, etc. — need to start listening, even if you don’t like what you’re hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that’s causing people to be marginalized.
13. I am not interested in coming after your blessed guns, nor is anyone serving in government. What I am interested in is the enforcement of present laws and enacting new, common sense gun regulations. Got another opinion? Put it on your page, not mine.
14. I believe in so-called political correctness. I prefer to think it’s social politeness. If I call you Chuck and you say you prefer to be called Charles, I’ll call you Charles. It’s the polite thing to do. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you’re using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?
15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else.
16. I believe that women should not be treated as a separate class of human. They should be paid the same as men who do the same work, should have the same rights as men and should be free from abuse. Why on earth shouldn’t they be?
I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I’m a liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn’t mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don’t believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved.”
Ron Howard
James Talarico Delivers Sermon Against Christian Nationalism:
A powerful sermon that remains true now more than even though it was shared two years ago…
“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”
-John W. Whitehead
If you could use some Self Care- Take Care of Yourself and Take Care of Others!
On Wednesday September 3rd from Noon to 1pm with NCPC and San Diego Gives; I am running a self-care webinar.
Small Things Often:Micro Habits that Foster Macro Competencies
An authentic embodied great reset- in self-compassion and self-care- for conscious leaders and culture transformers
Even the heart pumps blood to itself first. As leaders and practitioners, we often invest substantial energy in serving others, and as a result don’t always attend to our own needs. Here is an opportunity to provide you, and by extension those in your community, with simple and proven energetic techniques- supported by both western science and eastern wisdom traditions- that reduce chronic stress and upskill resilience and fortitude, particularly in times of challenge and uncertainty.
What you may not know about Me:
The wellness of business. The business of wellness.
Neville who was born in India and has invested his lifetime in bridging the east/west divide and synergizing the best of both cultures, brings over 40 years of practicing and teaching the wisdom traditions, including traditional martial arts, yoga, and meditation to this session.
He has been applying these principles in the world of work with conscious leaders as well as deep purpose driven cultures that value all stakeholders in the ecosystem, and are committed to wellness, wholeness, and purpose not just profit. This includes leading and coaching businesses, nonprofit organizations, as well as K-12 and institutions of higher education, while serving in his executive role at Mission Fed. Additionally, he serves on a variety of boards and volunteers his time to uplift those furthest from opportunity in our San Diego community.
Neville, and NCPC are honored to bring these micro habits to the San Diego community with “Small things often!”
If you are interested, please register here and you can get the recording even if you can’t make the actual event and do share with your network please!
The little boy came to our table of leather-clad bikers and slammed down a paper that said, “DADDY’S FUNERAL – NEED SCARY MEN.”
His tiny fingers were still stained with marker ink, and his Superman cape was on backwards. The diner went dead silent as fifteen members of the Iron Wolves MC stared at this kid who couldn’t have weighed forty pounds soaking wet.
“My mom said I can’t ask you,” he announced, his chin jutting out defiantly. “But she’s crying all the time and the mean boys at school said daddy won’t go to heaven without scary men to protect him.”
Big Tom, who’d done two tours in Afghanistan and had a skull tattooed on his neck, carefully picked up the paper. It was a child’s drawing of stick figures on motorcycles surrounding a coffin, with “PLEASE COME” written in backwards letters.
“Where’s your mom, little man?” Tom asked, his voice a low rumble that usually preceded a fight but was now impossibly gentle.
The boy pointed through the window to a beat-up Toyota where a young woman sat with her head in her hands. “She’s scared of you. Everyone’s scared of you. That’s why I need you.”
I’d seen Tom break a man’s jaw for disrespecting his bike. But his hands shook as he read what else was on that paper – a date, tomorrow, and an address for Riverside Cemetery.
“What was your daddy’s name?” someone asked from the back.
“Officer Marcus Rivera,” the boy said proudly. “He was a police officer. A bad man shot him.”
The silence in the diner got heavier, thick enough to choke on. Cops and bikers weren’t exactly natural allies. Most of us had been hassled, profiled, some even beaten by police. And now this cop’s kid was asking us to honor his fallen father.
Tom stood up slowly, his towering frame casting a shadow over the small table. “What’s your name, superman?”
“Miguel. Miguel Rivera.”
“Well, Miguel Rivera,” Tom said, kneeling so he was eye to eye with the boy, a giant meeting a sparrow. “You tell your mom that your daddy’s going to have the biggest, loudest, scariest escort to heaven any police officer ever had.”
The boy’s eyes went wide. “Really? You’ll come?”
“Brother,” Snake spoke up from the corner, and I could hear the conflict in his voice. “He was a cop.”
“He was a father,” Tom said firmly, his gaze never leaving Miguel’s. “And this little warrior just did the bravest thing I’ve seen all year. We ride.”
The next morning, I arrived at the cemetery two hours early. I thought I’d be the only one, a chance to get my head right before the awkwardness and the stares. But then my jaw dropped.
The narrow road leading to the cemetery entrance was already lined with bikes. Not just the fifteen of us from the diner, but our entire chapter. Forty men, standing quietly by their polished Harleys, the morning sun glinting off the chrome. But that wasn’t what stopped my heart. Further down the road, another group was pulling in. The Vipers. Our bitter rivals. And behind them, the Sons of Odin. Word had gotten out. A call had been made for scary men, and the entire goddamn scary underworld had answered.
When the funeral procession finally arrived, the hearse slowed to a stop. I saw Miguel in the car behind it, his small face pressed against the glass. His mother looked up, and her hand flew to her mouth, her expression of fear melting into stunned disbelief.
There were over a hundred of us. A silent army of leather and steel.
At some unseen signal from Tom, a hundred engines roared to life at the exact same instant. The sound was biblical. It wasn’t angry or aggressive; it was a deep, thundering proclamation. We are here. We formed a double line, a guard of honor for the hearse and the family and escorted them through the gates.
At the graveside, a small group of uniformed officers stood stiffly, their honor guard looking tense as we dismounted. They watched us, we watched them. But there was no trouble. We formed a wide, silent circle around the service, our backs to the family, facing outward. We were a wall, protecting their grief from the world.
After the service, as the last of the mourners were leaving, the police chief walked over to Big Tom. He was a hard-looking man I’d seen on the news a dozen times. He stopped, looked at Tom, then at the sea of bikers standing in silent respect.
“I… I don’t have the words,” the chief said, his voice rough. “Officer Rivera was a good man.”
Tom just gave a short, sharp nod. “He had a good son.”
That’s when I saw Miguel, holding his mother’s hand, walking purposefully toward us. He stopped in front of Tom, who immediately knelt again. Miguel wasn’t wearing his cape anymore. He was holding the folded American flag from his father’s coffin.
He held it out. “This is for you,” he said, his voice clear and steady.
Tom gently pushed it back. “No, little man. That’s yours. That’s your daddy’s.”
“My daddy was a hero,” Miguel said, pushing the flag firmly into Tom’s huge, tattooed hand. “He protected people. And today, you protected him.”
Tom stared at the flag in his hand, his jaw working, his whole-body trembling. The man I’d seen walk through a bar fight without flinching was completely undone by a forty-pound superhero. He couldn’t speak. He just nodded, his eyes shining with tears he refused to let fall.
We didn’t ride away with a roar. We left one by one, a quiet rumble that spoke of a respect that went deeper than clubs or colors or the badges on a uniform. We had come because a little boy asked for scary men. But we left knowing we’d just met the bravest one of all.
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”- Carl Jung
I’ve studied hundreds of highly successful kids—the No. 1 thing their parents teach early: Parenting expert Jennifer Breheny Wallace has spent six years studying hundreds of high-achieving kids. Here’s why she says a “mattering mindset” is the secret to their success, and how parents can cultivate it from a young age.
“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” – Nelson Mandela
How 9 minutes of daily HIIT may improve kids’ brain function and learning, according to research Researchers say nine minutes of exercise may be enough to boost children’s mood and cognitive skills.
“Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not.
We heal our wounds with the love we wish we’d received, but are often blind to the wounds we inflict.” ― Andrew Solomon
+ A feel good vid
Lion Seeks Forgiveness from Dog Best Friend in Heartwarming Gesture That Gains 30M Views Friendships in the animal world can be full of surprises, especially when they involve a lion and a dog. While lions are often seen as fierce predators, sometimes they form bonds that defy all expectations.
“The true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own.
Great leaders truly care about those they are privileged to lead
and understand that the true cost of the leadership privilege comes at the expense of self-interest.”
Through the North County Philanthropy Council (NCPC) where I am currently board president, at the end of this month we are running an 8-month Impact Leadership Accelerator for emerging leaders. Sign up Deadline is August 22nd.
As you probably know when budgets are tight it’s typically marketing and leadership development that get cut, but effective storytelling for impact, and equipping our leaders for this BANI (brittle, anxious, non-linear, and incomprehensible) world is precisely what we need to navigate uncertainty and future proof our organizations.
“Though the present drifts in uncertainty, let there be no doubt that the future unfolds in light.”
We are looking for a few sponsors to invest in either orgs they care deeply about and perhaps already support, and/or people they believe in.
The total cost for the program is $550 per person and intentionally designed to be accessible and impactful.
Grant Oliphant, CEO of the Prebys Foundation was our first guest speaker, followed by a Women in Leadership panel featuring Krishna Kabra, Beatrice Palmer, and Idara Ogunsaju.
Links to both these webinars as well as more details are available at the link below:
We have 3 cohorts filled and have just a few more slots in case you know of anyone that could benefit from this program at this critical time, run by our leadership committee, headed up by Jim Ristuccia a Vistage chair, along with several seasoned leaders, in both the business and social sectors.
Unique Benefits of this One-Of-A-Kind Leadership Experience:
Exclusive opportunities to hear from renowned subject matter experts in the nonprofit space on topics that are very relevant to the current operating environment, with an eye toward building resiliency and capacity for a strong future.
In-depth group discussions of topics facilitated by skilled coaches.
Peer-to-peer collaborations for sharing knowledge, experiences, advice, and mutual support of one another in meeting your challenges and opportunities.
Access to experienced, conscientious coaches for 1:1 assistance throughout the program.
Valuable assessments with personalized feedback and insights to identify strengths and opportunities for growth as a leader.
Hands-on Capstone Project: a group mastermind project to help a real, local nonprofit solve a specific challenge.
A free one year-membership in NCPC upon successful completion of the 8-month experience.
Opportunity in subsequent years to maintain connection with your cohort and give back to the program as a coach, committee member, or both.
The kickoff session is Aug 27 from 9 to noon at Mission Fed HQ.
See below and please share with your networks too!
Accelerate your impact—in your career, your organization, and your community—through a transformative leadership experience that delivers lasting results.Offered exclusively by NCPC. Welcome to a unique leadership development journey tailored to your individual growth. Whether you’re just stepping into leadership or looking to deepen your influence, this program meets you where you are—and helps you go further, faster. Here’s why Kristian Browning, a participant in last year’s program, found it so beneficial, in her own words: “The Impact Leadership Accelerator gave me exactly what I was looking for—meaningful connections throughout the county and access to impactful mentors who provided ongoing support even after the program ended. More than just skill-building, it offered validation and a steady stream of energy to continue doing meaningful nonprofit work, while creating lasting relationships with mentors like Jim and Adri who continue to provide guidance, recommendations, and networking opportunities that will be invaluable as I advance in my career.“Kristian Browning, Director of Special Projects and Development, SupplyBank.org Don’t miss the August 27th kickoff of this8-month leadership development program tailored tononprofit professionals with a panel discussion on how to —FUTURE PROOF YOUR CAREER —Build Skills That Endure in Uncertain Times This discussion will explore practical steps to strengthen your career—focusing on developing leadership skills, expanding expertise across multiple areas, becoming the go-to person in your organization, and nurturing a strong professional network. Participants will walk away with strategies to grow their influence and resilience, even in turbulent times. Meet Our Expert Panel:Trevor Blair, CEO, Blair Search PartnersSarah Agee, President, Sterling Search Inc.Dr. Laura Deitrick, Executive Director of The Nonprofit Institute; Professor of Practice; Department of Leadership Studies Program Director Moderated by Neville Billimoria, NCPC Board President, & SVP Marketing and Membership at Mission Federal Credit UnionRegister for the 8-month program now and join us for Day One of this extraordinary journey.LEARN MORE AND REGISTER »Join by 8/22 to receive your DISC personal assessment.
Thanks for your consideration and blessings for all you do to make San Diego America’s Kindest and most Purposeful Region!
Love,
Neville
The word philanthropy comes from two Greek words – philein, meaning to love, and anthropos (as in anthropology), meaning humankind.
And so, philanthropy means love of humanity.
That’s really who a philanthropist is – one who acts out of love for humankind.
Do You Deserve Some Time for Self-Care and Self-Compassion?
As leaders and practitioners, we often invest substantial energy in serving others, and as a result don’t always attend to our own needs. Here is an opportunity to provide you, and by extension those in your community, with simple and proven energetic techniques- supported by both western science and eastern wisdom traditions- that reduce chronic stress and upskill resilience and fortitude, particularly in times of challenge.
This California City Was Just Named the Best Place in the U.S. to Watch the Sunset: A new ranking crowned a Southern California destination No. 1 for sunset lovers.
New Data Proves It: You Need to Go to More Parties: The time Americans spend at parties is down 50 percent. That’s terrible for our happiness, health, and careers. It’s the dog days of summer, so our free time should be packed with backyard barbecues, al fresco dinner parties, or lakeside hangs. But if your own social calendar is looking a little bare this year, you are not alone. As journalist and author Derek Thompson reported on his Substack newsletter recently, new data shows Americans are in the depths of a nationwide party recession.
The 10 most expensive U.S. metro areas to buy a home–half are in California: By median price, San Jose, California, is the most expensive metro area for U.S. homebuyers for the second year in a row, per a report from SmartAsset.
Why protecting your vagus nerve is key to optimal mental health: It’s the body’s information superhighway that tells your organs how to rest. What is the vagus nerve? Your brain is connected to your body through a set of 12 crucial nerve networks that descend through your spine and branch out into your body. Of these, the vagus nerve is probably one of the most important. Its tendrils influence digestion, your heart, your reflexes and your breathing. So you can see why scientists are so interested in what the vagus nerve does – especially when you consider how all the above affects your mood.
“The thing the church needs most today is the ability to heal wounds and to warm the hearts of the faithful; it needs nearness, proximity.
I see the church as a field hospital after battle.
It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars!
You have to heal his wounds.
Then we can talk about everything else.
Heal the wounds, heal the wounds. …
And you have to start from the ground up.”
-Pope Francis
The Pope’s Hope courtesy of Ryan Berman: Pope Francis passed away last week at the age of 88. While I didn’t study Pope Francis “religiously”, my brilliant co-author of a new book I have coming out in September (Headamentals), Suzy Burke, had shared the following with me and it stopped me in my tracks…
I share his profound wisdom below:
“The walls of hospitals have heard more honest prayers than churches… They have witnessed far more sincere kisses than those in airports…
It is in hospitals that you see a homophobe being saved by a gay doctor.
A privileged doctor saving the life of a beggar…
In intensive care, you see a Jew taking care of a racist…
A police officer and a prisoner in the same room receiving the same care…
A wealthy patient waiting for a liver transplant, ready to receive the organ from a poor donor…
It is in these moments, when the hospital touches the wounds of people, that different worlds intersect according to a divine design.
And in this communion of destinies, we realize that alone, we are nothing.
The absolute truth of people, most of the time, only reveals itself in moments of pain or in the real threat of an irreversible loss.
A hospital is a place where human beings remove their masks and show themselves as they truly are, in their purest essence.
This life will pass quickly, so do not waste it fighting with people.
Do not criticize your body too much.
Do not complain excessively.
Do not lose sleep over bills.
Make sure to hug your loved ones.
Do not worry too much about keeping the house spotless.
Material goods must be earned by each person—do not dedicate yourself to accumulating an inheritance.
You are waiting for too much: Christmas, Friday, next year, when you have money, when love arrives, when everything is perfect…
Listen, perfection does not exist.
A human being cannot attain it because we are simply not made to be fulfilled here.
Here, we are given an opportunity to learn.
So, make the most of this trial of life—and do it now.
Respect yourself, respect others. Walk your own path and let go of the path others have chosen for you.
Respect: do not comment, do not judge, do not interfere.
Love more, forgive more, embrace more, live more intensely!
And leave the rest in the hands of the Creator.”
—Pope Francis
You Don’t Have to Be the Pope, to Make a Difference of Consequence:
My dear friend Dr. Ken Druck, a highly sought after Mental Health Expert and Mensch, shares his insights, with Drew and me on How to Survive Tragic Losses and How to Cultivate Hope, Meaning, Loving Kindness, Joy, and Compassion.
Pope Francis’ Greatest Achievement Was Emphasizing Mercy: Pope Francis true legacy will be his emphasis on mercy, which he believed would create a Church in ‘God’s style.’
Megaphone Hand, business concept with text Attention Please, vector illustration
Why Do We Dehumanize Ourselves by Being Tone Deaf to the Plight of the Needy and Those That Can’t Speak for Themselves?
Pope Francis Focused on Climate Change as the Planet continued to get Hotter:
The patron saint of animals and ecology brought together science, morality and faith and prompted people across the globe to pay attention to what is happening as the planet continues to heat up!
Why a transformative leader is a protector not an antagonist…
Plants ‘Scream’ When They’re Cut, We Just Couldn’t Hear It. Until Now… For centuries, humans have viewed plants as stoic, green stalwarts of nature, keeping to themselves unless a gentle breeze made them rustle.
According to research, they’ve actually been making sounds this whole time, we’ve just been too hard of hearing to notice.
Elephants form “alert circle” during earthquake at San Diego Zoo Safari Park African Elephants at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park instinctively created an “alert circle” during the earthquake some weeks back.
Even wild animals circle the wagons to protect the vulnerable.
YouTube launched 20 years ago with an 18-second video at the San Diego Zoo That’s the title of one of the most consequential videos of all time. The video to start all videos. The “Big Bang” of the video-sharing world.
These are some of the best animal, people and panorama photos in the world! This incredible golden heron leads the winning images of Picture Award’s 17th edition, centered around animals, people and panoramas
It doesn’t mean you should turn off the news — which I have a tendency to do. We should also stay informed.
Know what’s going; on but don’t let politics, the news or the current stock market sink your psyche.
This doesn’t mean to be tone deaf or to turn the other cheek. It means stay even, stay civil, and shoot your shots if it’s aligned with your values.
Want to protest? Do it. Want to use this teaching opportunity for your kids? Do it. Want to reach out to someone on the other side to understand their POV? Do it.
We all lose when we lose ourselves in the chaos. We all lose when we’re humanrude, humanharsh or humancruel.
How will you show up? Why will you show up? Where will you show up?
If and when you do… stay humankind.
Jason Mraz- My Kind:
This song will lift you up and bolster your spirits!
Confucius had it right when he advised “before you go off to seek revenge it’s best to dig two graves.” Getting brilliant at forgiving those who have wronged and hurt you delivers these benefits to you as a leader, producer, and person:
—you avoid becoming a resentment collector, full of negativity and cynicism.
—you protect the energy needed to get big things done.
—you live in the present and pursue a richer future rather than staying stuck in the past.
—you free up a ton of creativity that would be consumed grumbling about what someone did to you.
—you remain peaceful and helpful instead of obsessing about being mistreated.
A few of the forgiveness rules that have been super useful to the clients I mentor:
1.Forgiveness isn’t condoning the behavior. No. It’s more about understanding that everyone does the best we can based on how we think. And, as Maya Angelou observed: “If they knew better, they would have done better.” How they behaved made sense to them at the time (read that twice), even if their actions were foolish and hurtful. So, practice the master skill of letting go.
2. Let success be your confident reply. Staying bitter and stagnant is a violent defeat. What I suggest is to try and use what someone did to you as soil for your growth and fuel for your winning. Let any pain you suffer actually purify you by processing through it so that you become emotionally richer, internally stronger, and personally wiser. And, as best as you can, exploit this newfound clarity, creativity, and maturity to build glorious fortunes of success, beauty, and inner freedom. Let an even more beautiful life be your elegant response.
3. What’s yours can’t be taken from you. Mom taught me this one and I wrote about the lesson in-depth in my latest book The Wealth Money Can’t Buy. What she taught me is that what’s meant for me can’t be taken from me and if something didn’t work out the way I wished it would have, it just wasn’t meant to be. Allow people to be on their own path and know that what unfolds for them is none of your business. Do your best and trust—with deep faith—that life has your back. And that what appears is always for your fortune, never for your failure.
4. Keep Death Close [KDC]. Reflecting on how short life really is and the fact that in 100 years, everyone alive today will be dust will give you perspective. A mistreatment that seems so big will begin to look small. You’ll see the value of moving on and letting the hurter deal with their karma. And you’ll be energized to “stick to your knitting” by doing what you know to be right, making excellent daily progress and remembering that good things inevitably happen to people who do great things.
Pets increase life satisfaction as much as marriage or close friendships: In a world where happiness often feels like a moving target, we constantly seek what brings true contentment.
People turn to careers, families, friendships, pets, and even meditation or travel in the hope of feeling joy and fulfillment in life.
A crow’s math skills include geometry: Crows in a lab were able to distinguish shapes that exhibited right angles, parallel lines, and symmetry, suggesting that, like humans, they have a special ability to perceive geometric regularity.
Missing toddler who walked 7 miles through Arizona wilderness led to safety by a dog: The rancher traced the boy’s steps and discovered that Buford, an Anatolian Pyrenees who normally patrols his land and wards off coyotes, had escorted the 2-year-old for at least a mile.
Confront the Brutal Facts but Always Maintain Hope!
Heads Up!
The first part of this week’s missive is political and personal so if you don’t have the stomach for it, I completely understand, just skip to the second part which is a reminder to celebrate the women in our lives.
No bystanding!
Love,
Neville
In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. And then… they came for me… And by that time there was no one left to speak up. –Rev Martin Niemoller, January 1946
As a peaceful warrior, I generally try to model discretion over valor, but this week I am done sitting on the sidelines, and if that means I am “offsides” and “offend” then so be it.
Divisiveness is not my aim, but unless you are a member of the 1st world nations you like me are an immigrant, and we are stronger because of our diversity not because of white supremacy or other narratives that are not reflective of this nation’s history and vibrancy.
Systemic racism, white colonialism and revisionist history will not save this country or planet, no matter how hard to try to hide in its cloaks and daggers.
The greater the hiding, the greater the self-revelation…
If you are torqued by this week’s Soul Food Friday missive, apologies as for more than 15 years, my goal, purpose and aim was to bring some positivity to what seemed like a environment that privileged sensationalism, negativity and polarization, but if I freak you out today, I think it is best that you simply skip, so I don’t trigger you further.
You deserve statis and peace.
Regardless, at least you will know where I stand at this generational crisis which will inevitably have long term implications for those that follow including your kids and grandkids.
More likes are definitely not my metric of success.
While tough to swallow, I am totally cool with being unliked if I am doing the right thing in support and service of others that can’t always be at the table for themselves. Being liked is a social crutch I would prefer to set aside and walk or hobble on my own two feet.
Likes and FOMO have completely messed up the entire “anxious generation” as we post all our bull$#!+ pics of our best selves, living our fabricated and often phony best lives -sometimes with the help of a professional photographer capturing the best shots of an idealized experience that simply does not exist- once we step into your living room and watch you interact with your friends and family.
Alternatively, if you are pumped, jacked, mobilized, emboldened, want to act but don’t know what to do, care deeply but are concerned about downstream consequences and threats, please don’t waste this crisis and let’s make sure your voice is heard.
Do hold space and grace by serving as an ally- no bystanding- human up!- for those who can’t raise their voices for fear of retaliation, targeting, or suffering indignities on top of immense suffering on an unlevel playing field, where social mobility is no longer available to all, and where purported “leaders” would rather kiss Nero’s ring than fess up to the reality that the US is burning and good people stand idly by while the rule of law is threatened, separation of powers is sidelined, the rich get richer on the backs of the poor and middle class, and power corrupts, while absolute power corrupts absolutely!.
Enough is enough…
Can you feel it?
My soul is stirred and meeting the moment this week means speaking truth to power, justice and mercy to cruelty, sanity to inanity, and being present with what is bereft due to social hypnosis, perseverating on risk of loss, or other rationalizations that keep us on the sideline while democracy devolves in front of our eyes.
But that is being nice…
It is time for ME to take a stand. (how about you?)
I know that some of my relatives, friends, neighbors, co-workers, associates, and fellow Americans may unfriend me and that would be unfortunate, but I can’t stay quiet!
It is too important.
This is where I stand.
The 47th President, his power-hungry cronies taking positions of authority in his Cabinet and administration, and the majority of Republicans in Congress are a real and active threat to me, my way of life, and all or most of the people I love.
Some people are saying that we should give Trump a chance, that we should “work together” with him because he won the election, and he is “everyone’s president.”
This is my response:
•I will not forget how badly he and so many others treated former President Barack Obama for 8 years…Lies about his legitimacy and hatred for his principles and his attempts to work within the system.
•I will not “work together” to privatize Medicare, cut Social Security and Medicaid.
•I will not “work together” to subvert the Constitution by illegitimately pushing unfit Cabinet nominees through on recess appointments without the advice and consent of the Senate.
•I will not “work together” to build a wall.
•I will not “work together” to persecute Muslims.
•I will not “work together” to shut out refugees from other countries.
•I will not “work together” to lower taxes on the 1% and increase taxes on the middle class and poor.
•I will not “work together” to help Trump use the Presidency to line his pockets and those of his family and cronies.
•I will not “work together” to weaken and demolish environmental protection.
•I will not “work together” to sell American lands, especially National Parks, to companies which then despoil those lands.
•I will not “work together” to enable the killing of whole species of animals just because they are predators, or inconvenient for a few, or because some people want to get their thrills killing them.
•I will not “work together” to remove civil rights from anyone.
•I will not “work together” to alienate countries that have been our allies for as long as I have been alive.
•I will not “work together” to slash funding for education.
•I will not “work together” to take basic assistance from people who are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.
•I will not “work together” to get rid of common-sense regulations on guns.
•I will not “work together” to eliminate the minimum wage.
•I will not “work together” to support so-called “Right To Work” laws, or undermine, weaken or destroy Unions in any way.
•I will not “work together” to suppress scientific research, be it on climate change, fracking, or any other issue where a majority of scientists agree that Trump and his supporters are wrong on the facts.
•I will not “work together” to criminalize abortion or restrict health care for women.
•I will not “work together” to increase the number of nations that have nuclear weapons.
•I will not “work together” to put even more “big money” into politics.
•I will not “work together” to violate the Geneva Convention.
•I will not “work together” to give the Ku Klux Klan, the Nazi Party and white supremacists a seat at the table, or to normalize their hatred.
•I will not “work together” to deny health care to people who need it.
•I will not “work together” to deny medical coverage to people on the basis of a “pre-existing condition.”
•I will not “work together” to increase voter suppression.
•I will not “work together” to normalize tyranny.
•I will not “work together” to eliminate or reduce ethical oversight at any level of government.
•I will not “work together” with anyone who is, or admires, tyrants and dictators.
•I will not support anyone that thinks it’s OK to put a pipeline to transport oil on Sacred Ground for Native Americans. And, it would run under the Missouri River, which provides drinking water for millions of people. An accident waiting to happen.
•I will not “work together” to legitimize racism, sexism, and authoritarianism.
This is my line, and I am drawing it.
•I WILL stand for honesty, love, respect for all living beings, and for the beating heart that is the center of Life itself.
•I WILL use my voice and my hands, to reach out to the uninformed, and to anyone who will LISTEN:
That “winning”, “being great again”, “rich” or even “beautiful” is nothing… When others are sacrificed to glorify its existence.
I am joining my fellow Americans in this noble and honorable expression of conscience, conviction, justice, morality, faith, commitment, democracy, and informed patriotism.
Zero pressure, but if you agree, it is your turn.
Copy, paste into your email and/or preferred social media platform, add your name to the top and launch a chain.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor” – Archbishop Desmond Tutu:
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
The Entire World Is Pissed at Trump-and It May Cost the U.S. Big Time Donald Trump’s tariffs aren’t the only thing that will wreck the U.S. economy.
Trump’s regime is fated to collapse: Despite its chest-beating rhetoric, the Trump regime is actually brittle and fated to ineffectiveness, collapse or both.
It’s Time to Ditch the Term DEI We can’t debate its merits when we don’t agree on what it means. On President Donald Trump’s first day back in the White House, he issued an executive order ending diversity, equity, and inclusion in the federal government. Its sweeping language forbids DEI “mandates, policies, programs, preferences, and activities,” and orders the termination of all DEI positions—hundreds if not thousands of roles.
Trump’s FBI Moves to Criminally Charge Major Climate Groups The Trump administration is targeting climate organizations that received a Biden-era grant.
Trump cuts to NOAA already felt in San Diego Cuts to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration affect research and sea monitoring partnerships between NOAA and Scripps Institution of Oceanography.
Banned Articles? Did you know that NOAA recently released a new Climate Literacy Guide? This incredible resource aims to help communicators and decision-makers develop their understanding of climate change—but it was recently scrubbed from their website, severely minimizing its impact and reach. You can at least learn about it here.
Trump’s Assault on Universities Is a Wake-Up Call American higher education would be in a much stronger position today if it had made a proactive case to the public for its own importance—and taken steps to address its very real shortcomings.
Chaos on campuses as schools warn Trump cuts could harm US ‘for decades’ President’s slashes to higher education institutions and research funding threaten US public health
Education Department to slash half its workforce “Employees will not be permitted in any ED facility on Wednesday, March 12th, for any reason,” a message to agency staff Tuesday stated.
“Science is under attack”: Hundreds rally at UC San Diego to protest DOGE cuts From Social Security to the IRS, federal budget cuts under the Trump administration are being felt everywhere. On Friday, the focus turned to science—nationwide and at UC San Diego.
Want to Help Fight ICE Raids? There’s a Map for That. This group has developed a new app to help keep everyone one step ahead of Donald Trump’s deportation schemes
Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose Especially when you’re running a country Paul Krugman Mar 12 A note to subscribers: I’ve taken my weekend primer on Social Security out from behind the paywall, partly in response to popular demand but also because it’s relevant to today’s post. This will, I hope, be a fairly short post. That’s partly because my schedule is really tight at the moment and I don’t have time for detailed analysis. But it’s also because I don’t want too much analysis to clutter up a very simple point: The two most powerful men in America have gone stark raving mad. I don’t say this because I disagree with their ideologies or believe that they have very bad policy ideas. That’s been true for quite a few politicians over the years. But while I’ve always considered, say, Mitch McConnell a malign influence on America, while I described Paul Ryan as a flimflam man, I never questioned their sanity. And yes, I’m well aware of the dangers involved in questioning people’s mental stability from afar, especially in a political context. I personally have been the target of that sort of thing, back when people accused me of being unhinged for suggesting that the Bush administration was taking us to war on false pretenses. But I don’t see how you can look at recent statements by Donald Trump and Elon Musk without concluding that both men have lost their grip on reality. News reports still tend to sanewash what our leaders have been saying, and even selected quotations often make them sound more rational than they are. Fortunately, both are addicted to posting on social media, and you really have to read some of their posts to get a full sense of the madness. So here’s Trump, ranting against Canada: Leave aside the nonsensical claims that Canada is a high-tariff nation subsidized by the United States. When Trump first began talking about turning Canada into the 51st state, many people treated it as a joke. But Trump doesn’t appear to be in on the joke. He just keeps doubling down, even as the people of Canada grow ever more outraged. No sane leader would imagine that it’s a good idea to threaten a heretofore friendly but proudly patriotic neighbor and ally with annexation. But a sane leader is exactly what we don’t have. Then there’s Elon Musk. Surely almost everyone except Trump realizes that DOGE has been a bust; despite unprecedented and often illegal access to government agencies, it has yet to come up with any credible major examples of waste or fraud. Even Musk, I suspect, knows at some level that he’s failing. But like Trump on Canada, he just keeps doubling down. Consider Musk’s quickly and easily refuted claim that tens of millions of dead people are receiving Social Security checks. This was a deeply embarrassing error, one that would have killed most people’s political careers. Still, Musk might have been able to ride it out by admitting that his minions had failed to understand the Social Security Administration’s databases. But no. Musk has reiterated his claim that we’re making huge payments to dead people, and is now insisting that Social Security is a Ponzi scheme, showing that he hasn’t made any effort to understand how the bedrock of American retirement works. Musk’s obsession with supposed fraud in Social Security is looking a lot like Trump’s obsession with annexing Canada; apparently he simply can’t admit error, even to himself, and change course. And then there’s this: Of course, illegal immigrants don’t receive Social Security benefits, because they don’t have valid Social Security numbers. But that’s almost trivial compared with Musk’s open endorsement of the Great Replacement conspiracy theory, according to which liberals are deliberately luring nonwhite immigrants to America to tilt the electorate in their favor. This is the conspiracy theory that inspired torch-carrying marchers in Charlottesville to chant “Jews will not replace us.” And look beyond what Trump and Musk have said to the actions of the people they’ve chosen to oversee key public agencies. Robert F. Kennedy, the secretary of health and human services, refuses to respond to a measles outbreak with a clear call for vaccinations, instead suggesting that people take cod liver oil. The secretary of agriculture has suggested that Americans respond to high egg prices by raising their own chickens. How did the highest levels of U.S. government become infected by madness? Well, this is what you get when you give flawed people — people prone to grandiosity, vindictiveness and paranoia — so much power that nobody dares tell them when they’re going too far. Cowed Republicans and timid Democrats have effectively given Trump and Musk the freedom to become the worst versions of themselves. And the whole world will pay the price.
Happy International Women’s Day. Here are the best female composers of all time Our guide to the best female composers from history, many of whom have historically been wrongly excluded from the canon. Let’s put that right – get to know their music now!
Let’s meet the moment, to our own selves be true, and be active agents of democracy and uplifting humanity, not passive victims of a system that serves the few on the backs of many.
It is time to show up. NOW!
Thanks this week to Ken D for the spark, Chris B for some links, Charles B for reminding me its ok to be disliked and you for speaking truth to power!
Love,
Neville
“Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible.
Given my penchant to say “yes” to the universe at my own peril, I get many queries about topics of import from all walks of life including from conscious business leaders, non-profit organizations, educators, influencers, wisdom traditionalists, students, neighbors and more…
In the last week, I got a real interesting set of questions with respect to communications specifically:
When working with leaders I talk about recognizing the difference between our assets and weapons.
As I see it, our two greatest assets as leaders are our (a) people and (b) self-reflection.
Our greatest weapon, however, is communication.
So,
1. How would you create a culture of communication in your brand, businesses, or leadership?
2. What would be significant communication hurdles you’d look to solve for by doing this?
Here is my response for the good or the order and, if appropriate, to disrupt the freakin’ disorder:
Note: Communications is my passion, discipline, and superpower so as Lynyrd Skynyrd would say, “I know a little ‘bout it, and baby I guess the rest” so please use what’s useful and discard the rest!
Welcome your thoughts too, Soul Food Community of several thousand strong, and got it going on…
Context (for me in the spirit of full transparency):
“Communication is the real work of leadership.”– Nitin Nohria
Even as a practicing lifetime peaceful warrior, steeped in the martial arts traditions for nearly 50 years, I am working hard to take the war language out of communications, as I don’t find it reflective of our current needs as individuals and as a culture, and unintentionally reinforces a command-and-control leadership/adversarial framework v. a collaborative/collective wisdom orientation.
There is a whole body of work around this that is way above my pay grade:
Western Science and Eastern Wisdom Traditions, they work together
Strengths-Based Frameworks not a Deficit Model, we are not motivated by our deficits
Leadership is Inside Out not Outside In, its not performative, its authentic- own it!
We > Me Collective Wisdom not just Individual Achievement, no one of us is as smart as ALL of us
Cultural Competencies not just Success Strategies: “Culture eats Strategy for Breakfast” as Peter Drucker famously reminds us
Moving From Problem Solving to the “other” AI- Appreciative Inquiry:
Informed by Positive Organizational Scholarship:
Imagine a world in which almost all organizations are typified by greed, selfishness, manipulation, secrecy, and a single-minded focus on winning. Wealth creation is the key indicator of success. Imagine that members of such organizations are characterized by distrust, anxiety, self-absorption, fear, burnout, and feelings of abuse. Conflict, lawsuits, contract breaking, retribution, and disrespect characterize many interactions and social relationships. Imagine also that scholarly researchers investigating these organizations emphasize theories of problem solving, reciprocity and justice, managing uncertainty, overcoming resistance, achieving profitability, and competing successfully against others.
For the sake of contrast, now imagine another world in which almost all organizations are typified by appreciation, collaboration, virtuousness, vitality, and meaningfulness. Creating abundance and human well-being are key indicators of success. Imagine that members of such organizations are characterized by trustworthiness, resilience, wisdom, humility, high levels of positive energy. Social relationships and interactions are characterized by compassion, loyalty, honesty, respect, and forgiveness. Significant attention is given to what makes life worth living. Imagine that scholarly researchers emphasize theories of excellence, transcendence, positive deviance, extraordinary performance, and positive spirals of flourishing.
Positive Organizational Scholarship (POS) does not reject the value and significance of the phenomena of the first world view. Rather, it emphasizes the phenomena represented in the second world view. A focus on competition and profitability in the first world view, for example, is crucial for understanding organizational survival and success. The second world view merely calls attention to phenomena that represent positive deviance—phenomena that have received limited scholarly attention in organizational studies. Most organizational theories and empirical research have, heretofore, adopted assumptions and variables that are more typical of the first world view than the second.
—
That said, I love assets and consider communications a meta competency that transcends and informs other skills that are critical to conscious and authentic leadership.
I consider the trifecta of skill sets, mindset, and heart set to be the building blocks for leadership from within (intrapersonal) and communication a meta competency for connecting, engaging, and influencing others (interpersonal)
This might be all semantics to you, but language matters to me!
With that said here goes…
How would you create a culture of communication in your brand, businesses, or leadership?
Assess present state
What is the climate/culture now?
What are the positive deviants already modeling and behaving into the future state?
Is the future state a compelling vision that everyone knows, owns, and is energized by?
Are those modeling the heart/mind/skill sets being affirmed and recognized?
“Leadership is the art of mobilizing others to want to
struggle for shared aspirations.”
—Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner: The Leadership Challenge
Define future state in the language of your tribe
Having values like trust and integrity or competencies like communications and a service orientation are great but define them in the context of what these actually look like in your enterprise with actual examples.
Make these values a critical component of evaluative and developmental opportunities such as annual reviews, organizational goals, brand stories, etc.
For example, your annual review could have 3 parts; goals, values, and discretionary effort (weighted differently) but all assessed with periodicity. (That’s what we do at Mission Fed…)
Use the Positive Org Scholarship criteria above to continue to help the individuals and org behave into the future state.
If Leadership is a skill, then by definition it can be taught!
Lead each gathering, meeting, training, with a “mission story” that incorporates these elements and integral to your brand experience and differentiation
What would be significant communication hurdles you’d look to solve for by doing this?
Tone at the Top- are senior leaders modeling these behaviors or just asking others to do it? Am I doing it?
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” -Rumi
Tolerance for Misalignment- tolerating poor communicators (typically a function of ego-myopia and self-interest v. collective interest) suggesting these are flexible criteria not sacrosanct
Map against the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team (see below)
For example, a low trust environment breeds negative conditions that preclude moving up the ladder to commitment, accountability, and results.
“Preach the Gospel at all times.
And if you must, use words if necessary.” – St. Francis of Assisi
Hope this provides some wind in your sails as YOU navigate turbulent seas, with your leadership chops at the helm, communication skills as your rudder, and trust at your keel…
Thaks this week go to Kai H and Jeff H for the prompt, thought leaders Dr. Danny F, Eric K, and Dr. Alan D, as well as Dr. Herb S and Dr. Dan H. at UC San Diego’s Comm Dept. for the foundational principles and practices in Communications.
“An organization cannot rise above its level of leadership.”—John Maxwell
Think about it for a second…
Leadership is not a position, it’s a decision!
It’s not where you stand in the hierarchy, or on the org chart. Its how you show up and positively impact your world and others.
Authentic, embodied leadership is sorely needed in every aspect of society, and you are the person the world is waiting for.
How can you improve your leadership impact and get the most out of the leadership amplification effect?
Why do some leaders flounder in a crisis, and other’s deliver with calm and aplomb in super stressful circumstances?
Language matters. Science says using this 4-word phrase instead of ‘thank you’ will make you a better leader.
How does one balance the dualities of both hard and soft skills in fostering a high performance, high fulfillment culture?
How does effective coaching benefit leaders?
Does your self-talk shape your potential to be your best self and to be the best leader you can be?
This week you can listen, learn, and love the latent leadership potential with in you.
You’ve got this!!
Rising to the Occasion- Wellness 2.0 on Hidden Brain:
From time to time, all of us are called upon to do hard or even seemingly impossible things. Do we rise to the occasion, or do we fall short? Today on the show, we examine the psychology of pushing through a crisis. We talk with psychologist Adam Galinsky about great leaders, and what they can teach us about being steadfast in the face of challenges.
The Hard and Soft of Great Leadership: Mastering Dualities in Business with Moshe E:
The Hard and Soft of Great Leadership: Mastering Dualities in Business Years ago, I studied a form of Karate called Gōjū-ryū, which means “hard and soft.” This duality fascinated me. On one hand, the martial art was about sharp, decisive movements; on the other, fluid, adaptable ones. Strength and flexibility in perfect harmony. Learning how to deal with apparent opposites is a major growth edge for many top executives I coach. The fact is, leadership inherently means living in a land of dualities. Growth and stability. Innovation and tradition. Directing and empowering. Consider for yourself: What dualities are you currently navigating in your leadership? Are there areas where you’re leaning too far into one side at the expense of the other? If you lean too far into one side, the other can suffer. Go too “hard,” and you risk rigidity. Too much “soft,” and you might lack direction. True leadership embraces both.
How to Balance Dualities The trick? It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. Balancing dualities is where leadership magic happens. Here are three common examples: Here’s the truth: clarity builds trust and respect. When everyone knows what’s expected and when, it reduces uncertainty and fosters confidence in the process. Trust is the secret sauce that makes delegation work. Decisiveness and Patience: Great leaders know when to act decisively to seize opportunities and when to exercise patience to allow clarity to emerge. Balancing urgency with thoughtful timing creates impactful decisions. Structure and Creativity: Foster innovation by creating a framework that provides clear guidance and boundaries while leaving enough space for imagination and original ideas to thrive. Productivity and innovation can coexist. Confidence and Vulnerability: You can project self-confidence while also being willing to admit mistakes, ask for help, and show your human side. This balance allows leaders to connect deeply with their teams through a combination of strength and relatability.
5 Amare Action Steps to Master Dualities1. Identify your hard and soft. Reflect on your leadership style. Where can you add strength without losing flexibility, and vice versa? 2. Reframe the opposites. Look at an apparent duality in your work (e.g., purpose vs. profit) and brainstorm ways to integrate them. 3. Practice balance. In your next decision, consciously consider both sides of the equation—movement and stillness, logic and intuition—and find the harmony. 4. Model both/and thinking. Encourage your team to see opportunities for integration rather than division. Reward solutions that embrace duality. 5. Embrace adaptability. Remember, what’s hard now may need to be soft later, and vice versa. Leadership is about flowing with the needs of the moment.
Leadership: A Hard and Soft Skill The beauty of dualities is they challenge us to grow. They ask us to be strong yet flexible, purposeful yet profitable, decisive yet patient. Leading the Amare Way, putting the power of love to work, means embracing both sides—the hard and the soft—with love and wisdom. As you reflect on your leadership for this year, think about your Gōjū-ryū moments. Where can you bring strength? Where can you add flexibility? And how can you embrace the art of both/and in everything you do? After all, true leadership isn’t about choosing sides. It’s about finding harmony—and sometimes, even a little humor—in the dance of dualities.
Three Selves in Coaching with Eric K:
I’m going to pull back the curtain on my coaching approach for those of you who are into coaching your direct reports. While we agree that coaching is aimed at improving the version of the leader I’m talking with, that’s only part of the story. Effective coaching taps three dimensions of the person you’re coaching: the present self, past self (those “inner ancestors” that shape your mindset), and future self (the version of you that’s calling to be realized).
Typical coaches pay a lot of attention to the present self – the one showing up, rolling up its sleeves, and navigating the challenges of leading today. This self deserves tons of respect. It’s managing teams, balancing the demands of a high-stakes role, and shouldering responsibility for the future of the organization. A good coach honors and supports the present self so it can perform better in real time. A coach can help this self sharpen focus, make decisions, and become more resilient to stress. But if we only deal with the present, we miss a huge opportunity.
Then, there’s the past self, or as I like to call it, your “inner ancestors”. These are the versions of you shaped by previous experiences – triumphs and setbacks. Some of your past selves are like wise old relatives: they’ve been through the wars and have valuable lessons to share. Others are more like the ghosts that haunt you – the ones that didn’t heal properly from old wounds or are still holding onto outdated beliefs. I help you access these inner ancestors, resource them, honor what they’ve been through, and integrate their wisdom. It’s about learning from your own history and untangling the knots that keep you from moving forward.
And that brings us to the future self, the emergent one. This is the you that’s calling for change – the part of you that senses there’s something more ahead. This future self often shows up as a subtle itch, a feeling of dissatisfaction, or an unshakable curiosity about what might be possible. It’s not just about setting goals and working toward them; it’s about clarifying what’s beckoning you forward. It’s about listening to that inner voice that says, “I am evolving and want to be different, bigger, more aligned with who I’m becoming.” My role here is to help you define and articulate what that emergent self looks like and how you can step into that version today.
So, my coaching isn’t just about fine-tuning your performance in the present. It’s about navigating your past to access hidden resources and letting go of unhelpful baggage. It’s about clarifying what is calling from your future and how to answer its call.
Ultimately, my coaching isn’t engaging just one version of you – I work with all three. And when those three selves come into alignment, that’s where real transformation happens.
NCPC Mentorship 2.0: Fostering A Community of Practice:
If you are local and want to grow here is a 4-month program I have had the privilege of helping ideate as part of my service on the NCPC Board of Directors to ensure everyone has access and opportunity to upleveling their leadership skills to drive social impact.
The mentors are all amazing and the program is designed to be a value driver for all that participate.
Note: This is the last week to sign up so please help us spread the word!
Every day, everyone in your organization creates your culture by what they value, believe, think, say, and do.
Regardless of what your culture was like last year or even yesterday, what matters most is what you are doing today to build your culture and make it great.
This past Thursday and Friday I had the honor and opportunity to speak to the Colorado Rockies entire organization. From the Owner, President, GM, Manager and Dominican coaches to athletic trainers, equipment managers, ticket sales, tech, etc. It’s rare for a professional sports team to bring everyone in the organization together, but the Rockies have a rare, special culture filled with amazing people.
It occurred to me how important it was that everyone in the organization was learning the same principles and practices for enhanced mindset, leadership and teamwork at the same time.
Shared learning experiences like this create a common bond, a common understanding, a common language, and common practices, that reinforce and strengthen the culture and lead to collective growth.
While I’m a big believer of diversity of people, diversity of thought, diversity of ideas and diversity of innovative strategies in an organization, it’s essential to connect and unite around a set of common principles, practices and core values.
For a culture to be strong, everyone in an organization must know what they stand for and live these shared principles and core values.
When a diverse group of people know and show their values consistently together, they are well on their way to creating a culture of greatness and creating great results.
Culture is created and you and your team can create a great culture starting today by what you value, believe, think, say and ultimately do.
Start by getting together and ask, “What do we stand for and what do we want to be known for?”
Then decide how you will live it and show it.
Thanks this week go to Larry H for the culture article.
Happy Soul Food Friday! 