Author: soulfoodfriday

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

• What Can the Wisdom Traditions Teach Us About Winning and Losing?
• Are We Civilized?
• Kindness 101: Friendship
• Why It’s Perfectly Normal to See Baby Puffins Thrown Off Cliffs in Iceland Each Year
• Your “Before I Die List” with Robin Sharma
• + Taking You Out With The Unbridled Joy Of Music (I Can’t Help Myself- It Always Cracks My Heart Open!)

In the past week, I had the privilege of speaking at the CIF Symposium where the focus was proper sportsmanship, not just by the student athletes, but by coaches and spectators too!

Thought you might value this perspective…

What Can the Wisdom Traditions Teach Us About Winning and Losing?

If we look at what have become an all too common cultural norm, be it in politics, business or personal life, it seems that winning at all costs has replaced the more humane and wise notion of winning- but doing so following the rules of the game and a moral imperative.

When we look the other way, ignoring fouls and other ethical violations, are we tacitly endorsing these behaviors at best, or enabling at worst, behaviors that are antithetical to our own betterment and survival not just as individuals but as a species?

In the wisdom traditions, using traditional martial arts as a proxy, we are trained to strive for personal excellence and the contest whether in the ring of competition on in the ring of life provides a “proving ground” to test ourselves not just versus another player or contestant but against our own best potential.

Here there are 4 levels of winning and losing, not just the binary winning and losing we have become all too familiar with today.

The highest level of achievement is an honorable win. Your win is supported by right conduct and if you know you did not win cleanly you self-report the foul or incident rather than hide it under the rug or play to the chorus of if it wasn’t seen, or can’t be proved, then it didn’t happen.

One level down from this is an honorable loss. If you lost but did your best and were beaten fair and square you honor both your opponent and yourself, and learn from the experience by being a gracious “loser”. Here winning still occurs through character development, investing in loss, and remaining focused on long term growth not just short term outcomes. Honorable losses build resiliency and forge a character of perseverance and grit.

Next comes a dishonorable win and obviously in last place comes the dishonorable loss where in spite of trying every dirty trick in the book you still get your clock cleaned!

Whether it is in Olympic competition against the best in the world, or a personal competition to better oneself, it would be useful to foster a climate/culture that underscores the importance of honor and humility in the “success calculus” or we find the win meaningless, transitory and ultimately not supportive of our individual or collective growth.

Daily Practice:

This can also play out in our day to day choices; doing the right thing for the right reason, the wrong thing for the right reason, the right thing for the wrong reason and the wrong thing for the wrong reason. I will leave it to you to discern the hierarchy and Faustian bargain this path takes us to when left to its ultimate conclusion.

Much is made of Alpha animals dominating their tribe and being willing to prevail over all contenders both inside and out.

Not as much is understood or appreciated about Alpha leaders, even in primates, modeling empathy and seeing their primary role as caring for and supporting their group not just terrorizing their peers and den members.

A real Alpha leader has the capacity to win at all costs but subordinates themselves.

I have heard altruism defined as “self-handicapping” for the greater good…

What kind of leader do you want to model, follow or create?

Let’s start now!

Love,

Neville

Are We Civilized?

Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts!

“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.

Kindness 101: Friendship
As part of the ongoing series “Kindness 101,” Steve Hartman and his kids are sharing stories built around themes of kindness and character and the people who’ve mastered both. His latest lesson is friendship.

Kindness 101: Students teach us all a lesson in friendship – CBS News

Why It’s Perfectly Normal to See Baby Puffins Thrown Off Cliffs in Iceland Each Year
Throwing thousands of baby puffins off a cliff is a yearly tradition for the people of Iceland’s Westman Islands. It’s part of what’s known as “puffing season” and is a crucial life-saving endeavor.

During puffling season, Icelanders save baby puffins by throwing them off cliffs : NPR

Your “Before I Die List” with Robin Sharma:

Sorry to bring up death in the title yet you and I both come with an expiration date.

Like it or not, we’ll all end up as dust. Soon or late.

Makes me think of Ted Leonsis. The tech titan, visionary leader and business disruptor.

He was on a plane when the pilot said it looked like they would crash. Just imagine. Actually, please don’t.

Face to face with the end, he reflected on the things that truly mattered. No accessories. Only priorities.

He considered all the things he didn’t do and the places he didn’t visit and the people he failed to meet.

He confronted his truest values and highest visions, reflecting on the busyness of life and how it causes even the best amongst us to stray from the mission.

Fortunately the aircraft landed safely.

In the terminal, Ted wrote out a list that would transform his life: a list of 101 things that he vowed to do before he died.

Within a few years most were done.

Yet here’s the opportunity for you to take a few pristine hours—hidden away from the world—to generate your list. Of 50 or 75 or 100 things you absolutely must get done before you pass into that great field of daisies in the sky.

It’ll help you identify what truly counts. So you can strip out the trivialities. And lead your most majestic life. Beginning (hopefully) today. Because now is a gorgeous time to start a better way.

Take You Out With The Unbridled Joy Of Music:

From 8 to 80, the love of music makes your heart sing

Salud!

Guantanamera | Playing For Change | Song Around The World – YouTube

Thanks this week go to CIF Leadership, Kurt C, and Robin S for some of this week’s contributions!

Please Pay it Forward with Purpose…

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has” – Margaret Mead

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

I Am Feeling Overwhelmed:

I’m feeling overwhelmed!  We all hear that a lot.  I think we can see it too in our children, our peers, our friends when they get short with us or push us away.

So what can we do about it?  Here are 5 tips I got from an article that you can share with them or use yourself.

Everyone at one time or another, or many times, will feel overwhelmed. It’s natural.  It’s the way your mind tells you that you have too much going on and you need to slow down.  So let’s not fight it next time – let’s do something about it!

1. List what is overwhelming you.  Sometimes you realize after writing the things overwhelming you down – hey! I can do this.  Sometimes that list is really long.  But you know what you’ve just done.  You put them down so now you can prioritize and start knocking those items off that list in an orderly, less chaotic manner. You may notice some things you can’t control on that list.  Know what you get to do with those? Take them off the list!  Cross those right off. And there may be things that others can help you with – let’s see what to do with those a little later in this list.
2. Realize it’s a breakdown of thoughts, not life. I love this sentence from Braden Thompson, “When you feel overwhelmed, your life isn’t falling apart – your thoughts are.” Remember being overwhelmed isn’t a stated of being – it’s a FEELING.  We all have the ability to control our feelings. 
3. Things can turn around quickly. Do you find yourself often feeling overwhelmed on Mondays and Tuesdays?  That’s when the week begins.  That feeling may dissipate as you work on things throughout the week.  So track when you start to have those feelings – does it always seem to be on the same day of the week?  Either way, don’t wallow in inaction, start doing and seeing the small progress chip away not only at that list you have to do, but also those feelings of being overwhelmed.
4. You’ve felt this way before. It ended before, and it will end again.Just remember that.
5. Your problems may not be as bad as you think.  Remember when you were in school and finals were so overwhelming (maybe that was just me?)!  Looking back now – what’s the worst that could have happened?  You have that perspective now. It’s wasn’t the end of the world issue I made it to be.  In fact – if only those were the problems I was facing now! Try to put things in perspective.  Still doesn’t help? Help out at a food shelter, or reach out to others who wish that they had your problems.  That really helps.  Furthermore, acts of kindness make this world a better place, help others, and help you feel better too!

Everyone feels overwhelmed at one point or another.  You are not alone. Remember – you control those feelings and what you do about them. 

You Don’t Have to Quit Your Job to Find More Meaning in Life:

Before giving notice, and going on a vision quest, consider this. Fulfillment doesn’t require big change. In fact, you can find more meaning even in a joy you don’t love.

You Don’t Have to Quit Your Job to Find More Meaning in Life – HBS Working Knowledge

Daily ‘breath training’ can work as well as medicine to reduce high blood pressure
Research finds five to 10 minutes daily of a type of strength training for muscles used in breathing can help anyone reduce or prevent high blood pressure. The training can also help elite athletes.

High blood pressure is significantly lowered with breath training : Shots – Health News : NPR

Support Hunger Awareness Month!

Help A Food Insufficient Child on a Path to Success with Food 4 Kids Backpack Program

Can you spare $7?

Help a child on a path to success with Food 4 Kids Backpack Program | cbs8.com

Facial Illusions That Will Make Your Head Spin!

Mimi Choi is a professional illusion-makeup artist in Vancouver, Canada, who has gone viral for her optical-illusion looks on her face and body. Choi has collaborated with stars like Ezra Miller for their 2019 Met Gala makeup, Shay Mitchell, and Jeff Goldblum. Choi paints directly on her face and adjusts as she goes rather than sketching out an idea ahead of time. The process takes an average of four to five hours to complete, and some looks have taken over eight hours. The key to creating the most realistic illusion is lighting, background, and camera and face angles. Her goal is to create expressive art that shocks her audience.

How Mimi Choi’s Facial Illusions Come Together – YouTube

Thanks this week go to Angelica G-W and Chris B for your contributions and to You for reading this far!

Please pay it forward

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“There are only two things that will change your life: Either something new comes into your life, or something new comes out of you” – Brendon Burchard

Happy Soul Food Friday!

“The meaning of your life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”- Pablo Picasso

This week:

• The Autumnal Equinox with Billy S
• “The Earth is Now Our Only Shareholder. Instead Of Going Public You Could Say We’re Going Purpose”
• Celebrate World Gratitude Day!
• Gratitude to Roger Federer for Leaving A Legacy of Class!
• Baby Southern White Rhino at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park Gets a Name: Neville
• Which Type of Artist Are You?
  • People or Craft? Accomplishment or Accompaniment?

The Autumnal Equinox with Billy S:

Aloha Friends,

The Autumnal Equinox is Thursday, September 22, 2022 at 6:03 pm PDT.

It marks the start of autumn in the Northern Hemisphere.

The Equinox reminds us about the passage of time, the motion of the Earth, and the changing of the seasons.

Translated literally, equinox means “equal night”.

On the equinox, the length of day and night is nearly equal in all parts of the world, about twelve hours of each. This is because the sun is positioned above the equator.

On this day, the Sun rises directly in the East, and sets directly in the West.

At the moment of the Autumnal Equinox the Sun crosses the equator from north to south.

After the Autumnal equinox, the days become shorter and the air cooler.

Wishing you a special day, symbolic of balance in our life and with the environment.

Stay in tune with nature and wellness!

“The Earth is Now Our Only Shareholder. Instead Of Going Public You Could Say We’re Going Purpose”

Chouinard announces he is giving away all his shares in Patagonia to a trust that will use future profits to “help fight” the climate crisis.

Yvon Chouinard – the ‘existential dirtbag’ who founded and gifted Patagonia | Business | The Guardian

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence

and making sure that impact lasts in your absence”

Celebrate World Gratitude Day!

Here’s How You Can Celebrate World Gratitude Day at Your Workplace | Inc.com

Gratitude to Roger Federer for Leaving A Legacy of Class!

Speaking at His First Press Conference Since Announcing His Retirement, the Swiss Legend Opened Up on the Range of Emotions He’s Felt Over the Past Weeks:

Watch: Federer on bittersweet emotions in retiring, dream Laver Cup pairing with Nadal and more (scroll.in)

Baby Southern White Rhino at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park Gets a Name: Neville

Just in time for World Rhino Day…

Baby southern white rhino at San Diego Zoo Safari Park | cbs8.com

If you are local-

Which Type of Artist Are You?

People or Craft? Accomplishment or Accompaniment?

“Technical knowledge is not enough.

One must transcend technical knowledge until the art becomes an artless art, flowing from the subconscious”

– D Suzuki (Zen Master)

Greetings Live Music Lovers & Kindred Spirits!

I have been extremely blessed and jazzed to play live music all over the world, from busking on the streets of Europe with a single musician, to jamming at the beach resorts of Florida, to jumping in at the paladares in Cuba, or bars and restaurants in Hawaii, to music halls and concert gigs and charity events right here in Southern California.

In my experience there are two types of artists (including musicians of course).

The first are all about cultivating their technical chops.

The pride themselves on their well-honed skills and excellence, but with that bias comes a sharp inner critic and voice of judgement.

They focus on the craft over the people.

Their debrief is all about what was missing, and what they could have done better in their pursuit of technical excellence.

They privilege virtuosity, and take pride in their accomplishment.

The second group are all about creating an experience and disappearing in the flow of the art.

They take pride when they surrender themselves to the moment, listen well to each other, and transport their audience to another dimension.

Their focus is on people over craft.

Their debrief is all about what resonated, where magic happened, and how to repeat that flow experience in service of their audience.

They privilege virtuousness in service of the art, and take pride in accompaniment.

Same effort.

Different experience and outcome…

Here are two live music experiences that focus on the latter (which as you have probably figured out, is my jam!) and if you have been out to any of the shows know exactly what I am talking about:

Saturday Sept 24^th Drivin’ The Bus is at the Carlsbad Landings (outdoors) from 6 to 9pm

2192 McClellan, Carlsbad, CA 92008

Righteous Classic Jam band playing all the crowd favs

All ages welcomed!

Carlsbad Landings (dtbband.com)

Thursday Sept 29^th Strange Crew at Duck Foot Brewing Company in Mira Mesa (indoors) from 7 to 10p

8920 Kenamar Drive, Suite 210, San Diego CA

San Diego-based tribute/dedication band playing the music of Eric Clapton’s entire career

All ages and dogs welcomed!

(20+) Strange Crew | Facebook

Break up your week.

Crack open your heart.

Get out and connect…

Hope to see you there!

Thanks this week go to Bob C, Sarah G, Jeri C, Judy R, and the DTB and Strange Crew bands for sharing the unbounded joy of music!

Please pay it forward.

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Ars longa, vita brevis”

Art is Long, Life is Short

So Live Well Today!

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week: Curated Content on Positive Deviants Bending the Curve and Holding Space for Our Better Selves

Strain Your Potential Until It Cries Out For Mercy!

On Social Justice and Speaking Truth to Power Through Art:

Chinese artist Badiucao: Drawing truth to power – 60 Minutes – CBS News

On Human Potential, Pushing Personal Limits and Serious Mind Power:

Alexey Molchanov on diving more than 39 stories deep while holding his breath for four and a half minutes – 60 Minutes – CBS News

Education Guru and Math Master Sir Ken Robinson Reframing the Script for the Power of Authentic Embodied Experience Being as Valuable as the Sciences:

Why dance is just as important as math in school | (ted.com)

Self-Compassion Makes You a Better Person. Here’s how to practice it.
Science shows that self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook — in fact, it’s the opposite.

How to practice self-compassion – Vox

Bonus-

The Power of Proximity Changes Adversity Into Connection:

Guy Catches Adorable Groundhog Eating His Veggie Garden | The Dodo Wild Hearts – YouTube

Thanks this week go to Vince R, Chris B, Paul B, Uncle Nate and all of you straining your potential ‘til it cries out for mercy

Please pay it forward!

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”– Albert Einstein