Your Soul Food for Friday Dec 2, 2022: BeNevilleNce (Actually, Be Yourself!)

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week: BeNevilleNce

Locals-Ready to Classic Jam Tonight?

Drivin The Bus is at The Kraken in Cardiff this Friday at 9pm

Here is a sampler from when we were featured on KUSI TV recently:

KUSI rocks out with local band Drivin’ The Bus – YouTube

Enjoy kicking it to Clapton?

Next Gig Saturday Dec 17th with Strange Crew at Duck Foot Brewing Company, 8920 Kenamar Dr. from 7 to 10pm

Good vibrations coming your way and yes I will be sitting in on percussion for both…

Pure Fun and Frivolity-

Sharing is Caring!

Check these two lovey kitties out…

Cats sharing food – YouTube

Need to Get the Rage Out?

Check out this ambidextrous prize fighter with lightning paws and Bruce Lee speed!

Cat really hates this tiger – YouTube

And You Think You Go Nuts Watching Your Favorite Team:

Dog Watching Soccer Game | Dog Reaction | – YouTube

Elton Might Have Just Concluded His Tour

Here comes the next virtuoso

Dog Plays Piano and Sings – YouTube

A Bit More Heady Stuff-

At Work

5 WAYS TO STAY POSITIVE WHEN OTHERS AREN’T:
 What do I do when others around me, like my boss or coworkers, aren’t positive?”  

No matter how positive we may choose to be, we’re always going to encounter others who aren’t. Thankfully there are things that we can do to help overcome their negativity or redirect it in a way that helps them become more positive as well. Here are few suggestions…  

1. Make Your Bus Great – You may not be the leader of your organization. You may not be driving the “big bus,” but you can decide to make YOUR bus great. Every day just focus on being the best you can be and bring out the best in others while tuning out everything else. Tune out the negativity. Tune out the damaging comments. Tune out anything you can’t control. You can’t drive anyone else’s bus. Just drive your bus and make it a great ride.  

2. Your Positive Energy Must Be Greater than All of the Negativity – In the book Power vs Force, author David Hawkins, MD shares research that 80 percent of the population vibrates to a negative frequency. The fact is negativity is all around us. It’s not just your coworker or boss. It’s everywhere. You must remember that your positive energy must be greater than all the negativity. As country wisdom suggests, “Never wrestle with a pig because you’ll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.” Instead, stay above the fray. Positive energy is much more powerful than negative energy. If you stay positive, the negativity can’t touch you.

3. Be The Seed – When you plant yourself where you are, with a desire to serve and make a difference, you will create very positive conditions for your growth. You’ll be amazed at how others start treating you more positively when you approach your work with a service mindset. They will sense something different in you and they will change the way they behave towards you. I encourage you to read The Seed and let the growing process begin.

4. Invite Your Boss or Co-Workers on Your Bus – Give your boss or coworkers a book on positive leadership. It could be one of my books or a book from another author. There are many great books out there. I’ve received countless emails from leaders who received The Energy BusThe Power of Positive Leadership and The Carpenter from their employees and it changed the way they lead. Best of all, this change in leadership spreads throughout the organization. So don’t think you can’t change your situation or organization. You can. I’m convinced that very few people want to be negative. Most people are negative because of stress, busyness, and fear. Most people just need a wake-up call to break out of their rut. This is your opportunity to help someone else break free. Decide to be a beacon of light that shines on others. You’ll be amazed at what happens as a result.

5. If They Don’t Change, You Can – If all else fails you have a choice. You can decide to stay positive and outlast your boss or coworkers knowing that truth shines through and eventually a negative boss or coworkers won’t last, or you can decide to change your job. I’m not advocating simply giving up but if all else fails, you always have a choice. Remember, the best cultures that focus on positive leadership attract the best employees. Whatever you do, however, don’t allow a negative boss or coworker to get you down. With 80 percent of the population being negative, we need positive powerful people like you to offset the negativity.

So keep staying positive!  

In Relationships

The Growth Mindset Applied to Marriage:

No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there’s evidence it’s getting even harder. Revisit a favorite episode from 2018 about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. Historian Stephanie Coontz and psychologist Eli Finkel explore ways we can improve our love lives — including by asking less of our partners.

Relationships 2.0: When Did Marriage Become So Hard? | Hidden Brain Media

Over Human History

Leaving A Mark

Only 32 signs across a 3,200-year timespan across an entire continent?

For millennia, humans have created artifacts of their lives — from art, to books, to music.

Explore ideas about capturing the ephemeral human experience for future generations to find.

Leaving A Mark : TED Radio Hour : NPR

Thanks this week go to Chris B and Larry H for your contributions!

Please pay it forward with purpose everyone

Love,

Neville

Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.”

– Oscar Wilde

Your Soul Food for Thanksgiving Week 2022: Feast on Gratitude & Snack on Joy!

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week: Feast on Gratitude, Snack on Joy, Reset Your Nervous System and Learn From Nature

BE THANKFUL

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.


A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.


Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

~~Author Unknown.

Feast on gratitude this holiday season:

It could be good for you mentally, physically
“Physiologically, when people are experiencing gratitude, or when they tend to be more grateful overall, they have lower blood pressure,” one expert notes.

Expressing gratitude could be good for you, mentally and physically – Chicago Sun-Times (suntimes.com)

Want to feel happier?

Try snacking on joy.
Learning to find the joy in mundane experiences is a way to cultivate a more meaningful life.

Want to feel happier? Try savoring small moments and “snacking” on joy. – The Washington Post

Feeling stressed?

How to use the 5-senses method to reset your nervous system and achieve inner calm
Sure-fire ways to achieve inner calm when life gets hectic.

How to use the five senses method to achieve inner calm (stylist.co.uk)

A New Study Shows That Young Bumblebees Like to Play with Toys Mirroring the Behavior of Young Mammals:

New research finds bumblebees like to play with toys : NPR

And Enjoy This Amazing Video That Will Touch Your Soul!

The beauty of pollination – YouTube (youtube-nocookie.com)

Thankful this week for all soulful and kindred spirits making this world better for others!

Pay it forward with purpose…

Love,

Neville

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – JF Kennedy

Your Soul Food for Friday 11/17/22: The Spirit of Thanksgiving and Love Big!

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

The Spirit of Thanksgiving and Love Big!

It is Hard to be Hateful and Grateful at the Same Time-

The Health Benefits of a Random Act of Kindness:
A simple act of kindness does much more than help the receiver, studies show, and any kindness you give to others is also a gift to yourself.

Health benefits of a random act of kindness | CNN

Love, Happiness, Peace and Purpose are Perennials Not Seasonal-

The Happiness Formula for Any Age:

The happiness we seek can require investing earlier than we think—and may help us align our expectations and reality at the end of life.

A New Formula for Happiness – The Atlantic

Small Habits Can Make a Big Difference-

If You Spend Your Day Staring at a Screen, Doing Just a Minute of ‘Eye Yoga’ Can Ease Neck, Jaw and Forehead Tension:

Try These 5 Eye Exercises for Tension Relief | Well+Good (wellandgood.com)

Making Ethical Food Choices-

Why Giving Up Meat Is So Hard? Try “Reduce- atarian-ism”:

Now more than ever, people are attempting to reduce their meat consumption for ethical and environmental reasons. But in 2020, the U.S. ate more beef than the rest of the world, consuming a whopping 27 billion pounds.

Why giving up meat is so hard — and recipes to make going vegetarian easier | Here & Now (wbur.org)

Stay in Tune-

Researchers played Lady Gaga for rats. They bopped their heads like humans.
The rats in the study listened to an array of music from Mozart, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, Queen and Maroon 5.

Lady Gaga, Queen played for study rats. The animals bopped their heads (usatoday.com)

Thanks this week go to all of you.

Extending you and your loved ones much love, happiness, peace and purpose!

Please pay it forward and model that attitude of gratitude!

Love,

Neville

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder”- Gilbert K. Chesterton

 https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
 https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

Your Soul Food for 11/11/22: Celebrating 40 Years of Teaching the Wisdom Traditions at UC San Diego

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

Celebrating 40 Years of Teaching the Wisdom Traditions at UC San Diego

Where Did the Time Go?
40 Years of Teaching the Wisdom Traditions at UC San Diego:

If as a student at UC San Diego in the 80’s, you said that 40 years later I would still be teaching on campus, I would say you were nuckin’ futs!

Yet, this weekend, we find ourselves hosting a mini-camp, banquet and roast, celebrating 40 years of my teaching the wisdom traditions (martial arts, yoga and meditation) for the campus ecosystem and with the generations of students over the years, touching thousands of lives- now all over the world.

What started as a recreation club while a Muir college student in the dorms is the longest running contiguous program on campus, thanks to the help, support and loyalty of so many students, friends, and colleagues- many who are Sensei in their own right that have grown their own black belts and contributed to our community wellbeing.

Part of the prep work for camp includes some self-reflection, which is always in order as we tend to venerate action and vilify reflection in our human doing v. human being roles.

Here are a couple of examples I thought the Soul Food community would find beneficial so they are in this week’s missive for your wellbeing.

The first is the PERMAH Survey-

The PERMAH Survey is all about self-assessing your wellbeing, exploring the presence in our lives of Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning Accomplishment and Health.

This free, confidential, and fast survey can help you to gauge your current baseline with respect to your wellbeing, your functioning effectively, and your ability to flourish even in challenging times, particularly with the enhanced focused on self-care and mental health we are all experiencing nowadays

Check it out here:

The PERMAH Wellbeing Survey | Wellbeing | Michelle McQuaid

Strength to Strength-

Strength to Strength is a powerful presentation by Arthur C Brooks at Harvard, based on a book of the same name (that some of us read as part of a book club) and serves as a practical roadmap to finding success, happiness and deep purpose in the second half of life.

If you are seeking more love, happiness, peace and purpose it is worth a listen:

Live from Klarman Hall – 6/17/2022 – From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life – Video – Harvard Business School (hbs.edu)

You can play this like a podcast in the background while driving, cooking or cleaning if time is limited, but I do strongly encourage you to check it out.

A Blast from the Past:

Here is a short vid of the Inaugural True Triton Award I was honored to receive many moons ago

It speaks to the importance of volunteering and community engagement beyond writing fat checks and how we can all make a difference of consequence:

True Triton—Neville Billimoria, ’82 – YouTube

Finally, to end on a joyous sonic note enjoy the Sultans of Swing in the prime of their lives!

Thanks Ron!

(Or go crank your favorite tunes)

Thanks this week go to Dr. Dan D and Awakening Conscious Leadership, Dr. Alan D professor extraordinaire at UC San Diego, Matt L and the men in the Conscious Leader Collective, and all the amazing members of our Aoinagi Karate community near and far that have stuck by me through thick and thin, especially my wife Barb!

Please pay it forward with purpose, bare it all, and stay in tune with your inner and outer nature!

Love,

Neville

Baring it all!

Please Consider Subscribing to the Blog If It Resonates

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“A strong wind may destroy a sturdy tree, but the willow bends and the wind passes through.” – Sensei Gichin Funakoshi

Your Soul Food for Friday Nov 4 2022: Kindness Matters!

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

Destigmatizing Homelessness and Doing Something About It:

Here is a short video I was able to help the San Diego Rescue Mission with on the topic of addressing homelessness, along with some local folks including Ken Blanchard, Mayor Sotelo-Solis of National City, Miles McPherson of The Rock Church, Steve Fisher former head basketball coach for SDSU, and others.

Thanks for caring about our most underestimated brothers and sisters…

Community Leaders Video

CPR On An Elephant!:

The Amazing Kindness of People Has No Bounds

Hero vets save mother elephant’s life with CPR and rescues baby from drain – YouTube

8-year-old boy becomes youngest person to climb California’s El Capitan
An 8-year-old boy became the youngest person to finish climbing El Capitan in California’s Yosemite National Park on Friday, according to his father, who has been by his side and cheering him on since the pair began their journey earlier this week.

8-year-old boy becomes youngest person to climb California’s El Capitan | CNN

Talking to strangers might make you happier, a study on ‘relational diversity’ finds
A study finds that we are happier the more we talk with different categories of people — colleagues, family, strangers — and the more evenly our conversations are spread out among those groups.

Talking to strangers may make you happier, study on ‘relational diversity’ finds : NPR

Thanks this week to all of you who lean out to help others.

Please pay it forward.

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Lean out in your own way to make a difference in your community, so that others are inspired to stand up or go out on a limb for what matters” –Neville

Your Soul Food for Friday Oct 28, 2022: The Power of ONE

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

  • The Power of Magic to Create Awe and Wonder
  • The Power of Philanthropy to Transform
  • The Power of Sport to Unify
  • The Power of Animals to Crack Us Up
  • The Power of Meditation to Change Your Brain
  • The Power of Swearing to Produce Powerful Cognitive Effects

The Power of Magic to Create Awe and Wonder-

The Wonder and Intelligence of Our Relatives the Primates is Inspiring!

Monkeys react to magic – YouTube

The Power of Philanthropy to Transform-

Congratulations to Escondido Union School District!

Superintendent Rankins-Ibarra says they see unlimited potential in every student.

There is a strategic plan underway for creative learning the donation would help fund.

They are also listening to the students and will use the money to make sure it will have a lasting impact.

So honored to partner with them!

Philanthropist MacKenzie Scott donates $16 million to Escondido Union School District | KPBS Public Media

The Power of Sport to Unify-

Watch: Cricket Fans from India and Pakistan sing ‘Pasoori’ and Dance Together, Putting Aside Rivalry

Video: Cricket fans from India and Pakistan sing ‘Pasoori’ and dance together, putting aside rivalry (scroll.in)

The Power of Animals to Crack Us Up-

A standoffish penguin, a horrified monkey and a farting zebra are among the images shortlisted for the 2022 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2022 finalists announced | CNN Travel

The Power of Meditation to Change Your Brain-

Meditation literally changes how your brain’s neurons move
This is your brain on mindfulness. Any questions?

Meditation literally changes how your brain’s neurons move (inverse.com)

The Power of Swearing to Produce Powerful Cognitive Effects-

No shit! Swearing study reveals cursing’s powerful cognitive effects
Swearing isn’t just cathartic.

Swearing study reveals cursing’s powerful cognitive effects (inverse.com)

Thanks this week go to Chris B and Luis R-I.

Please pay it forward. You’ve got the power!

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“The cynic says one person can’t do anything.

I say ‘Only one  person can do anything.”

“All good ideas start with one person

“The creative, caring, believing person sends out waves of influence”

One affects others who in turn affect others…”

–The Power of ONE

Your Soul Food for Friday Oct 21 2022: How Do You Get People to Change Behavior?

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

How Do You Get People to Change Behavior?
Quebec had one response to jaywalking and it is compelling!

Quebec put up this billboard in a bus stop to raise awarenes about jaywalking – YouTube

Positive Self Talk: The Magic of Mindset by Devin C.

Affirmations are like magic words. The words you most often repeat in your mind affect your life and your future, for good or for bad.

You were probably taught as a child to not talk to yourself — well, throw all that out the window. Developing a strong inner dialogue that you can use to get in the groove is something I’d strongly recommend for anyone. When you stoke yourself up on positive self-talk, you’re able to foster stronger feelings of happiness and optimism.

Positive self-talk is a crucial, effective strategy they can use to combat any time of discomfort. This is why you will often see athletes mumbling to themselves before a game. They’ve been taught how to get in the right headspace for the challenges ahead of them. The beauty of self-talk is that it isn’t just great for sports. Parents, employees — anyone, really, can use self-talk to bring themselves into a more solid and positive frame of mind.

By definition, self-talk can be private thoughts or external speech, and whether it is positive or negative guides a person’s emotional and behavioral responses to discomfort.

If self-talk is negative, reflecting back the criticism you feel from others, you will automatically impose self-limitations that may take years to overcome. On the contrary, if the self-talk is positive, you can create a piece of armor to rely on for defense; whether it’s a work event or speaking in front of the room or seeking help from a co-worker, making new friends or defending oneself against a horrible person (sic), self-talk is extremely powerful.

When I was eight, I started to struggle with reading and writing. Before I was diagnosed with dyslexia, I was pulled into a group of five kids with serious learning disabilities.


A special aide came to work with us twice a day, calling us from our seats to the back of the room, where an accordion wall slid over to reveal a small side area. The walk felt like a slow death march. Everyone could read the scarlet letters tattooed across the slow learners’ foreheads.

“Devin’s with the short bus kids,” one of my classmates snickered. The laughter and comments made me feel exposed and hurt, because there was a part of me that almost believed them. After all, I was in the special education group, so the kids were peeling the scab off a very real vulnerability.  That is why bullying is so damaging — it keys into deeply personal, truly embarrassing parts of a child’s psyche and seems to validate them. When a child utilizes self-talk as a response, he can shed the victim role and feel empowered instead.

In my case, rather than give in to the insecurity or tear my classmates down in return, I sat alone and breathed deeply. I could hear my father’s voice in my head: “People just don’t understand greatness,” he told me. “They don’t know what it looks like. You’ve just got to push through this.” I am, I can, I will, I thought fiercely. These people just don’t understand me. I will get through this. It was important to own that I was going through a difficult time, but believe I would get through it. Those positive affirmations helped deflect some of the bullets being fired at me.

Now, as an adult, I can see how they also demonstrate the power of a parent’s lessons in self-talk. In order for you to connect with others, you have to first be comfortable who you see in the mirror.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

● Develop “trigger words” — a positive mantra you connect with and can repeat anytime that you need to self-soothe. Trigger words will help you feel empowered and may come from a favorite song or movie, as well as what parents and teachers instill in them. My trigger words came from my father: “I am, I can, I will.” Even as an adult, I turn to this reassuring phrase anytime I feel self-doubt, fear, or insecurity.

● Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. In other words, learn coping strategies for discomfort by placing yourself in situations (on purpose) where you must develop a skill you currently do not have. As a child, I thought the arts were unmanly — so my father made me play the bassoon. My confidence increased once I mastered the instrument, and I could refer to that experience in other times of discomfort.

There’s a Mental Health Crisis Among American Children. Why?

The Pandemic is not the only reason.

There’s a Mental-Health Crisis Among American Children. Why? – The New York Times (nytimes.com)

Sleep doctor’s trick to fall asleep faster – and it can help if you wake up at 3am
A sleep doctor has shared her go-to trick to help relax your body and potentially fall asleep faster – and it could even come in handy if you’re prone to waking up in the middle of the night.

Sleep tip: Hummingbird breath trick to fall asleep faster, Doctor Carmel Harrington explains | Exclusive – 9Coach (nine.com.au)

A horse ran away with wild mustangs. It just came home, 8 years later.
Eight years ago, Shane Adams’s beloved horse, Mongo, became one of about 86,000 wild mustangs roaming the West. But last week, he finally came home.

Horse returns to owner in Utah after roaming wild for eight years – The Washington Post

Alaska snow crab season canceled after an estimated 1 billion crabs disappear
An estimated 1 billion crabs have mysteriously disappeared from Alaskan waters in two years, officials said.

Alaska snow crab season canceled as officials investigate disappearance of an estimated 1 billion crabs – CBS News

Thanks this week go to Chris B, Angelica G-W, and you for living and loving with purpose.

Please pay it forward.

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“LOVE is our Soul Purpose”

Your Soul food For Friday Oct 14 ’22: Do We All Experience the World in the Same Way?

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

“Difference- The Only thing we have in Common”

The big idea: do we all experience the world in the same way?
Every human brain is different – it’s time to embrace the diversity of our experiences

The big idea: do we all experience the world in the same way? | Books | The Guardian

“It doesn’t matter who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love, or how you love, it only matters THAT you love!”- John Lennon

‘My teenage hormones were raging!’: stars salute the Beatles’ Love Me Do at 60
It confused Gene Simmons, inspired Judy Collins and changed one pop star’s mum’s haircut. Here, musicians recall the impact of the Beatles’ debut single

‘My teenage hormones were raging!’: stars salute the Beatles’ Love Me Do at 60 | The Beatles | The Guardian

“If you have come to help me, you are

wasting your time. But if you have

come because your liberation is

bound up with mine, then let us walk

together…”

— Lila Watson, Australian Aboriginal woman, in response to

mission workers

An Indigenous tribe and a team of scientists help condors soar again
Once pushed to the brink of extinction, condors are soaring in Northern California skies again with the help of an Indigenous tribe and a team of scientists.

Nearly extinct, California condors return thanks to Yurok, scientists – Washington Post

Australia hands control of its newest national parks to Indigenous peoples
The landmark move includes tourism efforts highlighting 60,000 years of Native culture and is part of a push to reckon with the country’s colonial legacy.

Australia hands control of its newest national parks to Indigenous peoples (nationalgeographic.com)

“Let us therefore decide both upon the Goal and upon the Way, and not fail to find some experienced Guide who has explored the region towards which we are advancing, for the conditions of this Journey are different from those of most travel.” — Seneca

Just 2 minutes of walking after eating can help blood sugar, study says
Getting up and moving after you eat — even if it’s only for two minutes — can help control blood sugar levels, a new study says. If you can’t do that, try standing. It helps, too.

Blood sugar may be controlled with short walks after eating | CNN

“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”

-John W. Whitehead

How to raise kids who give back to the world
Optimism, not despair, is the way to inspire kids to help the future.

Parents can raise kids who are ready to make the world better – Vox

Thanks this week go to all the world working to make our world kinder and better

Please pay it forward!

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

The wicked leader is he whom the people despise.

The good leader is he whom the people revere.

The great leader is he of whom the people say, “We did it ourselves.”

–Lao Tsu

Your Soul Food for Friday Oct 7 ’22: Do The Right Thing- It Will Gratify Some People and Astonish the Rest

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

  • What Can the Wisdom Traditions Teach Us About Winning and Losing?
  • Are We Civilized?
  • Kindness 101: Friendship
  • Why It’s Perfectly Normal to See Baby Puffins Thrown Off Cliffs in Iceland Each Year
  • Your “Before I Die List” with Robin Sharma
  • + Taking You Out With The Unbridled Joy Of Music (I Can’t Help Myself- It Always Cracks My Heart Open!)

In the past week, I had the privilege of speaking at the CIF Symposium where the focus was proper sportsmanship, not just by the student athletes, but by coaches and spectators too!

Thought you might value this perspective…

TOKYO, JAPAN – AUGUST 01: Gianmarco Tamberi of Italy celebrates sharing the gold medal with Muta Essa Barshim of Qatar in the High Jump on day nine of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games at Olympic Stadium on August 01, 2021 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

What Can the Wisdom Traditions Teach Us About Winning and Losing?

If we look at what have become an all too common cultural norm, be it in politics, business or personal life, it seems that winning at all costs has replaced the more humane and wise notion of winning- but doing so following the rules of the game and a moral imperative.

When we look the other way, ignoring fouls and other ethical violations, are we tacitly endorsing these behaviors at best, or enabling at worst, behaviors that are antithetical to our own betterment and survival not just as individuals but as a species?

In the wisdom traditions, using traditional martial arts as a proxy, we are trained to strive for personal excellence and the contest whether in the ring of competition on in the ring of life provides a “proving ground” to test ourselves not just versus another player or contestant but against our own best potential.

Here there are 4 levels of winning and losing, not just the binary winning and losing we have become all too familiar with today.

The highest level of achievement is an honorable win. Your win is supported by right conduct and if you know you did not win cleanly you self-report the foul or incident rather than hide it under the rug or play to the chorus of if it wasn’t seen, or can’t be proved, then it didn’t happen.

One level down from this is an honorable loss. If you lost but did your best and were beaten fair and square you honor both your opponent and yourself, and learn from the experience by being a gracious “loser”. Here winning still occurs through character development, investing in loss, and remaining focused on long term growth not just short term outcomes. Honorable losses build resiliency and forge a character of perseverance and grit.

Next comes a dishonorable win and obviously in last place comes the dishonorable loss where in spite of trying every dirty trick in the book you still get your clock cleaned!

Whether it is in Olympic competition against the best in the world, or a personal competition to better oneself, it would be useful to foster a climate/culture that underscores the importance of honor and humility in the “success calculus” or we find the win meaningless, transitory and ultimately not supportive of our individual or collective growth.

Daily Practice:

This can also play out in our day to day choices; doing the right thing for the right reason, the wrong thing for the right reason, the right thing for the wrong reason and the wrong thing for the wrong reason. I will leave it to you to discern the hierarchy and Faustian bargain this path takes us to when left to its ultimate conclusion.

Much is made of Alpha animals dominating their tribe and being willing to prevail over all contenders both inside and out.

Not as much is understood or appreciated about Alpha leaders, even in primates, modeling empathy and seeing their primary role as caring for and supporting their group not just terrorizing their peers and den members.

A real Alpha leader has the capacity to win at all costs but subordinates themselves.

I have heard altruism defined as “self-handicapping” for the greater good…

What kind of leader do you want to model, follow or create?

Let’s start now!

Love,

Neville

Are We Civilized?

Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts!

“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.

But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”

We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.

Kindness 101: Friendship
As part of the ongoing series “Kindness 101,” Steve Hartman and his kids are sharing stories built around themes of kindness and character and the people who’ve mastered both. His latest lesson is friendship.

Kindness 101: Students teach us all a lesson in friendship – CBS News

Why It’s Perfectly Normal to See Baby Puffins Thrown Off Cliffs in Iceland Each Year
Throwing thousands of baby puffins off a cliff is a yearly tradition for the people of Iceland’s Westman Islands. It’s part of what’s known as “puffing season” and is a crucial life-saving endeavor.

During puffling season, Icelanders save baby puffins by throwing them off cliffs : NPR

Your “Before I Die List” with Robin Sharma:

Sorry to bring up death in the title yet you and I both come with an expiration date.

Like it or not, we’ll all end up as dust. Soon or late.

Makes me think of Ted Leonsis. The tech titan, visionary leader and business disruptor.

He was on a plane when the pilot said it looked like they would crash. Just imagine. Actually, please don’t.

Face to face with the end, he reflected on the things that truly mattered. No accessories. Only priorities.

He considered all the things he didn’t do and the places he didn’t visit and the people he failed to meet.

He confronted his truest values and highest visions, reflecting on the busyness of life and how it causes even the best amongst us to stray from the mission.

Fortunately the aircraft landed safely.

In the terminal, Ted wrote out a list that would transform his life: a list of 101 things that he vowed to do before he died.

Within a few years most were done.

Yet here’s the opportunity for you to take a few pristine hours—hidden away from the world—to generate your list. Of 50 or 75 or 100 things you absolutely must get done before you pass into that great field of daisies in the sky.

It’ll help you identify what truly counts. So you can strip out the trivialities. And lead your most majestic life. Beginning (hopefully) today. Because now is a gorgeous time to start a better way.

Take You Out With The Unbridled Joy Of Music:

From 8 to 80, the love of music makes your heart sing

Salud!

Guantanamera | Playing For Change | Song Around The World – YouTube

Thanks this week go to CIF Leadership, Kurt C, and Robin S for some of this week’s contributions!

Please Pay it Forward with Purpose…

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has” – Margaret Mead

Your Soul Food for Friday Sept 30, ’22: Self Care Isn’t Selfish!

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

I Am Feeling Overwhelmed:

I’m feeling overwhelmed!  We all hear that a lot.  I think we can see it too in our children, our peers, our friends when they get short with us or push us away.

So what can we do about it?  Here are 5 tips I got from an article that you can share with them or use yourself.

Everyone at one time or another, or many times, will feel overwhelmed. It’s natural.  It’s the way your mind tells you that you have too much going on and you need to slow down.  So let’s not fight it next time – let’s do something about it!

  1. List what is overwhelming you.  Sometimes you realize after writing the things overwhelming you down – hey! I can do this.  Sometimes that list is really long.  But you know what you’ve just done.  You put them down so now you can prioritize and start knocking those items off that list in an orderly, less chaotic manner. You may notice some things you can’t control on that list.  Know what you get to do with those? Take them off the list!  Cross those right off. And there may be things that others can help you with – let’s see what to do with those a little later in this list.
  2. Realize it’s a breakdown of thoughts, not life. I love this sentence from Braden Thompson, “When you feel overwhelmed, your life isn’t falling apart – your thoughts are.” Remember being overwhelmed isn’t a stated of being – it’s a FEELING.  We all have the ability to control our feelings. 
  3. Things can turn around quickly. Do you find yourself often feeling overwhelmed on Mondays and Tuesdays?  That’s when the week begins.  That feeling may dissipate as you work on things throughout the week.  So track when you start to have those feelings – does it always seem to be on the same day of the week?  Either way, don’t wallow in inaction, start doing and seeing the small progress chip away not only at that list you have to do, but also those feelings of being overwhelmed.
  4. You’ve felt this way before. It ended before, and it will end again.Just remember that.
  5. Your problems may not be as bad as you think.  Remember when you were in school and finals were so overwhelming (maybe that was just me?)!  Looking back now – what’s the worst that could have happened?  You have that perspective now. It’s wasn’t the end of the world issue I made it to be.  In fact – if only those were the problems I was facing now! Try to put things in perspective.  Still doesn’t help? Help out at a food shelter, or reach out to others who wish that they had your problems.  That really helps.  Furthermore, acts of kindness make this world a better place, help others, and help you feel better too!

Everyone feels overwhelmed at one point or another.  You are not alone. Remember – you control those feelings and what you do about them. 

You Don’t Have to Quit Your Job to Find More Meaning in Life:

Before giving notice, and going on a vision quest, consider this. Fulfillment doesn’t require big change. In fact, you can find more meaning even in a joy you don’t love.

You Don’t Have to Quit Your Job to Find More Meaning in Life – HBS Working Knowledge

Daily ‘breath training’ can work as well as medicine to reduce high blood pressure
Research finds five to 10 minutes daily of a type of strength training for muscles used in breathing can help anyone reduce or prevent high blood pressure. The training can also help elite athletes.

High blood pressure is significantly lowered with breath training : Shots – Health News : NPR

Support Hunger Awareness Month!

Help A Food Insufficient Child on a Path to Success with Food 4 Kids Backpack Program

Can you spare $7?

Help a child on a path to success with Food 4 Kids Backpack Program | cbs8.com

Facial Illusions That Will Make Your Head Spin!

Mimi Choi is a professional illusion-makeup artist in Vancouver, Canada, who has gone viral for her optical-illusion looks on her face and body. Choi has collaborated with stars like Ezra Miller for their 2019 Met Gala makeup, Shay Mitchell, and Jeff Goldblum. Choi paints directly on her face and adjusts as she goes rather than sketching out an idea ahead of time. The process takes an average of four to five hours to complete, and some looks have taken over eight hours. The key to creating the most realistic illusion is lighting, background, and camera and face angles. Her goal is to create expressive art that shocks her audience.

How Mimi Choi’s Facial Illusions Come Together – YouTube

Thanks this week go to Angelica G-W and Chris B for your contributions and to You for reading this far!

Please pay it forward

Love,

Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“There are only two things that will change your life: Either something new comes into your life, or something new comes out of you” – Brendon Burchard