Your Soul Food for Friday May 15, 2026: What is Your Definition of Success? Does Character Matter?

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

Let’s run a thought experiment…

Imagine a world in which organizations are typified by selfishness, manipulation, secrecy, and a single-minded focus on winning.

Imagine that members of such organizations are characterized by gaming the system, cheating is normalized, the end justifies the means as is treating people in the system as dispensable and replaceable, leading to distrust, anxiety, self-absorption, fear, burnout, and feelings of abuse.

For the sake of contrast, now imagine another world in which organizations are typified by the values they embody, character mattering, and winning honorably both on and off the field, through collaboration, virtuousness, vitality, and meaningfulness.

Imagine that members of such organizations are characterized by trustworthiness, resilience, wisdom, humility, and high levels of positive energy. Social relationships and interactions are characterized by compassion, loyalty, honesty, respect, and forgiveness with theories of excellence exploring, transcendence, positive deviance, extraordinary performance, and positive spirals of flourishing.

So, which definition of success do you think most of us are striving for?

I have been practicing and teaching traditional martial arts focused on self-development through self-defense for the last 43 years teaching at UC San Diego. Here, I have worked on creating a community of practice, where the biggest opponent at the end of the day, is not out there, but in here.

Those you train with are there to help you grow, and yes even the instructors are lifelong learners, honing their craft and developing themselves and others through the student/teacher relationship.

Winning the national championships in traditional karate several times and that “success” allowing me to compete and place in the top three in the world, representing the United States in two world championships and the Pan American games is interestingly not the high-water mark of my training.

It’s growing people who understand the importance of character.

Here there is an ascendancy of winning from best to worst:

  • Honorable Win
  • Honorable Loss
  • Dishonorable Win
  • Dishonorable Loss

Why?

When you are late you are prone to make an excuse or tell a small (white) lie to save face.

Telling a small lie is the gateway drug to telling a bigger lie which can make cheating feel justified and next thing you know you have normalized, “if you are not cheating, you are not trying!”

Our self-talk is a powerful determinant of who we are and what we become.

Teach your children & parents well, do good work, and see you next week!

Neville

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Your Soul Food for the First Week of April 2026 with Invite to Joy Jam: May 9th: What the World Needs Now, Is Joy, Sweet Joy- The Antidote for “Collective Heart Failure”

Happy Soul Food for the First Week of April 2026!

If you are local…

April 10th from 2 to 5:30pm at the Rancho Bernado Inn!

Come celebrate the organizations and volunteers that uplift our community, commune with kindred spirits and enjoy a live music post party with Strange Crew…

Volunteer Awards Celebration – North County Philanthropy Council

This week:

Friends, San Diegans, Country-(Whoa)Men,

Lend me your ears and let me connect with your heart…

I just started another circle around the sun and am delighted to share this upcoming opportunity with you.

If you are in town on May 9th and need some joy in your life and your community, I strongly encourage you to sign up for this one-of-a-kind family-friendly experience. (read on for the impetus and intention)

The antidote for Congestive Collective Heart Failure is our community gathering in presence with love, joy, and care. Chance may favor the prepared mind, but Joy favors the prepared heart, and we must exercise that emotional muscle to counteract man’s inhumanity to man, shift from combat to love, and create the world we want to see and be!

Data suggests that it only takes about 3.5% participation to create a movement (1995 book: The Rebel’s Dilemma: Econ, Cognition and Society)

Wouldn’t it be cool if we could co-create a JOY MOVEMENT to offset the compassion fatigue and current malaise and state of affairs we are experiencing?

Let’s give Father Profit a break and Mother Earth a chance!

Ideated and funded by a dear friend, our band Strange Crew providing the musical experience, my son Arman coordinating the musical elements, and Monette my original drum teacher providing the drum circles, along with wellness modalities including sound baths, massage, acupuncture and more, available thanks to Niki and The Bridge, this is going to be one heck of a joy-filled afternoon at the perfectly situated Seaside Center for Spiritual Living in Cardiff.

Before we actively promote this completely donation-based (pay whatever you choose) event more broadly, we are sharing this with our friends and loved ones, so they have first right of refusal refuge all.

If the spirit behind this intention resonates (see below), do sign up pronto, as attendance is limited and we have already sold 70 tickets and raised $2,000 with no promotion.

https://joyjam.communalspaces.org

Let’s bring the joy!

Love,

Neville

Join me at the Joy Jam. What? A joy fest in these stressful times? Yes! A joy fest because of these stressful times.
This is something a bit different – it’s called Joy Jam. Happening May 9 from 3pm to 7pm in Encinitas.
It’s a few hours for us to come together to generate a shared experience of joy. Music, rhythm, connection, and just being human together. Live band, drum circles, some light healing work if you want it. And a very open, welcoming atmosphere. No spectators or pressure – just enjoying energy and one another at whatever level feels right.

Each of us knows someone in crisis or illness or may be that person ourselves.
For this day, we are inspired by Shayna’s journey from terminal cancer to full remission.
Shayna embodies a spirit of joy, hope, and faith. And she’s not quite done. So, proceeds from this all-donation-based event will go toward her ongoing care and full recovery.
Shayna will share more about the powerful role joy played in her healing journey.

Please join us, I’d love to have you there. It feels like one of those simple, good things – being outside, with good people, tapping into the simple joy that’s available when we slow down and tune in together.
And special deep gratitude to Peter Davis and Serge (Divine) Solomon for inspiring this Jam, and to Neville Billimoria for directing this into being!

Register here, we have limited space (I swear this isn’t blatant marketing dribble).

Bring yourself, your loved ones, a measure of joy to share, and an appetite for more joy. God knows, we need this!

And please share the JOY! Facebook and Instagram  

Joyfully 🙂 

Eric  

Have a Joy-filled week!

Love,

Neville

Subscribe to the Free Weekly Blog Here: Welcome to Soul Food Friday: A weekly blog to feed, grow and energize your soul – Happy Soul Food Friday!

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Your Soul Food for the Last Friday in 2023: Create Joy, Believe in Yourself, Stay Spiritual, Commune through Music

Happy Soul Food for the last Friday in 2023!

This week:

  • Make Joy Your Mission
  • Believe in Yourself
  • Experience the Beauty and Diversity of Human Spirituality in Pictures
  • Commune Through the Power of Live Music

WINTER’S CLOAK by Joyce Rupp:

This year I do not want the dark to leave me.
I need its wrap of silent stillness, its cloak of long-lasting embrace.
Too much light has pulled me away from the chamber of gestation.

Let the dawns come late, let the sunsets arrive early, let the evenings extend themselves while I lean into the abyss of my being.

Let me lie in the cave of my soul, for too much light blinds me, steals the source of revelation.

Let me seek solace in the empty places of winter’s passage, those vast dark nights that never fail to shelter me.

Mission Joy!

If you want to appreciate real joy from two masters of the craft and haven’t seen it yet, I strongly recommend watching this movie of the final meeting of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Sage wisdom and laugh out loud funny!

Home – Mission Joy

How to Believe in Yourself:

If you want to unlock your own potential and unleash your self-mastery in the new year, this is great listen!

How to Believe in Yourself | Hidden Brain Media

In pictures – human spirituality in all its remarkable beauty and diversity
Love, commitment, dedication, and faith — the many forms of devotion as seen through the lens of one photographer.

In pictures – human spirituality in all its beauty and diversity | The Independent

If you are local on Jan 4th 2024:

Join me on Thursday January 4th at the Music Box for some Righteous Live Music to Kick Off the New Year with Strange Crew!

As we turn the bend on another cycle around the sun, reflect on our resolutions while tolerating disillusions, if more live music is on your Santa list, here is your opportunity to launch into the New Year with the verve and vivacity that is all you…

Strange Crew (and me too) will be playing at the Music Box in Little Italy on Thursday 1/04/24 along with 3 other bands including ZenZag (Reggae Fusion), The Joshua 3 (U2 tribute), and Headmaster (Smiths fans…not impersonators).

So, grab your friends, family (21 and up), neighbors, workmates, frenemies- and come let your hair down.

YOU are in!

I can get you as many complimentary tickets as you like for this killer venue, so don’t be bashful- now is the time to be indulgent and spoil your friends too. This works as a holiday gift that extends into the new year and everyone will appreciate your magnanimous nature.

Simply email me ASAP at nevilleb@missionfed.com  re: the number of tickets you want + your mailing address and voila you are on the nice list!

More on these fun bands can be found here: ZenZag, Strange Crew, The Joshua 3, Headmaster (musicboxsd.com)

And here is a sampler to whet your whistle: Strange Crew – YouTube

Thanks this week go to Kurt C for the poem!

Happy New Year everyone…

Love,

Neville

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