This week:

Happiness During the Holidays

 

Pope Francis: 3 Ways to Find Happiness this Holiday Season
A Smile Can Change Your Life
Don’t Settle for a Small Life
Today Takes Courage
http://time.com/5050310/pope-francis-holiday-happiness/

Holiday Blues: Four mistakes we make when comforting friends who are struggling
If you have a loved one who’s suffering, “Happy holidays!” can feel like a cruel joke. The most wonderful time of the year? Not for everyone…
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/11/30/christmas-holidays-four-mistakes-comforting-grieving-friends-sheryl-sandberg-adam-grant-column/906280001/

Happy Holidays from Mission Fed:

Here’s to your dreams—whether they’re big or small

Whether your success is measured in large accomplishments or little victories, we hope our holiday message finds you enjoying the spirit of the season.

Thank you for your loyalty and trust, and here’s to more Mission Fed Moments in the New Year!

Sincerely,
Your Friends at Mission Fed

Your success is our bottom line.

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!
Pay it Forward, the World Needs YOU
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Out of all-inclusive, unconditional compassion comes the healing of all mankind.”— Dr. David Hawkins

 

This week:

“Let us therefore decide both upon the Goal and upon the Way, and not fail to find some experienced Guide who has explored the region towards which we are advancing, for the conditions of this Journey are different from those of most travel.” — Seneca

Kind World #37: The Boy With Long Lashes:
Mohamed is the only person in Los Angeles County who exclusively fosters children with terminal illnesses…
http://www.wbur.org/kindworld/2017/04/11/kind-world-37-the-boy-with-long-lashes

IF Your Job is Just “OK”, YOU Might Not Be:
It’s time we accept that our best chance at a fulfilling life is through fulfilling work.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/your-job-just-ok-you-might-bea-boccalandro/

Arianna Huffington and Jeff Bezos Agree on the Key to Success:
“We need to declare an artificial end to the day, because our day never ends.”
https://heleo.com/conversation-arianna-huffington-and-jeff-bezos-agree-on-the-key-to-success/17182/?utm_source=newsletter_the_lift&utm_campaign=11_22_17

How to Protect Yourself and the World from Evil Leaders:

I don’t really believe there are intrinsically evil people. But based on the psychological research reported by Dr. Jonathan Haidt of NYU I do believe that certain people have a genetic disposition toward an extreme sensitivity to threats. This aberrational imbalance in some cases causes a drum beat of inner fear that leads to emotional atrophy… a complete loss empathy toward others.

According to research psychologist Dr. Nathan Brooks, this mal-adaptation leads to two principal outcomes. One is jail, the other is becoming a CEO, politician or lawyer. The psychological condition is called the Dark Triad.

The psychological definition of the Dark Triad is the lethal combination of:

1.  Narcissism
2.  Psychopathy
3.  Machiavellianism (compulsive manipulation of others)

Yes, unfortunately the Dark Triad is a “thing.” It is a psychological condition that has been studied extensively over the last 25 years because it is distinctively prevalent among males who attain powerful leadership positions in large organizations and institutions.

It works like this:

• A narcissist is characterized by an inner voice that is self-inflated, entitled and insecure and focuses outer behavior on extreme status seeking. Narcissists are also superficially charming.
• A psychopath is selfish, egotistical, dishonest and cruel.
• A manipulator is deceitful, ruthless, and exploitative.

A common characteristic of a member of the Dark Triad is negative empathy. This is a way of reading others peoples’ needs, interests and vulnerabilities in a way to take advantage of them.

It won’t surprise you that although psychologists estimate that only 1% of the population fall in the Dark Triad category, they make 30% of the prison population. What will surprise you is in a study reported in the Frontiers of Neuroscience in 2014, a series of validated assessments was administered to hundreds of random CEOs, and 20% were classified as leaders with the psychological characteristics of the Dark Triad. That’s right, its 20 times more likely to run into a Dark Triad CEO than a Dark Triad individual.

How can this be?

It’s actually quite simple. Business organizations are run like dictatorships. They are inherently authoritarian structures.  Employees are given orders and are rewarded and punished on the basis of their achievement of goals and demands of senior leaders. Authoritarian organizations attract narcissistic personalities because they bestow status, power and privilege on the few who make it to the top. Narcissists will do whatever it takes to satisfy their addiction to status.

Large organizations also reward psychopaths with power because, as Dr. Jeffrey Pfeffer of Stanford University research confirms, dishonesty, exploitation and self-aggrandizement lead to moving up the ladder of power far more often than virtues and morality.

Manipulators also win more often in command-and-control-led organizations because, according to Pfeffer’s research, half-truths, outright deception, and blaming are rewarded far more often than honesty, transparency and authenticity.

Pfeffer’s research also points out that large organizations actually attract deviant, Dark Triad personalities because ruthless power plays are consistently rewarded. And according to Dark Triad expert Dr. Nathan Brooks the same characteristics that enable members of the Dark Triad to enter into the highest levels of business leadership are also true for our political institutions and the profession of law.

I realize you might think I’m over-the-top in my cynicism about the inner virtue of many large-scale leaders. But I don’t think I am. In my experience, narcissistic, manipulative psychopaths can appear to be very nice people. In fact, the characteristic of superficial charm is very common. But the most dangerous element of a Dark Triad personality is that they are experts at justifying their behavior. They live in a world where their ends always justify whatever the means. And they distort their goals as if what they selfishly want is for the greater good. Self-deception is the worst lie because it is the most powerful one. (That’s how the megalomaniac CEO’s of Wells Fargo, Uber and Miramax Pictures justified themselves. And for the few that are publicly disgraced there are scores more that conduct their distorted version of business as usual with the full complicity of their boards.)

Of course, I have a solution to all this toxic leadership and you probably know what it is.

Men are 20 times more likely to have Dark Triad personality traits than women. That’s because women are generally far more interested in group success than individual status. In fact, women assess threats in the context of the group they belong to rather than as individuals. Women try to diffuse threats through mutual understanding and reciprocal benefits rather than dominance and conflict.

Please understand I am not saying that all male leaders are dark manipulators. I have personally worked with many high-level male executives and CEOs who went to work every day as servant leaders. And yet, what I have found is that the pressure from board members and analysts, who are solely focused on creating stockholder wealth tends to wear down the higher motives of even the best men. The reason for this pressure is the same. Authoritarian structures magnify the self-interests of the few at the top. That pressure is corrupting.

My years of research and decades of leadership consulting have lead me to two conclusions.

First, authoritarian organizations typically reward the wrong people with power. We may not be able to completely eliminate organizational structure because structure is necessary for large organizations. But we can transform cultural standards, beliefs and behaviors and we can institute work processes, policies and practices that increase group intelligence and true value creation for all stakeholders.

Second, I am now convinced the only way to achieve the first goal is to elevate far more women who exhibit collaborative values and skills (rather than women who mimic men) to the role of CEO and Chairwoman of the Board.

That’s why I am founding the SMART Women Institute with National University and partnering with WITI (Women in Technology International). Our mission is to train one million women in five years in the science-based skills of SMART Power. These skills bring to life the mindset of Transformational Leadership, written about by the renowned leadership historian, James McGregor Burns. This is not just a leadership theory. It is a disciplined practice that we intend to equip a million women, and the many men who support them, with the leadership vision and skill to create a future we want our children to inherit.

We will be formally launching the institute on January 30, 2018. To get more information about how you can become part of this movement, please contact us at info@SMARTPowerAcademy.com. We will send you our mission-strategy overview, a list of events and how you can get involved.

We insist on women’s leadership parity because it is the only proven path to sustainable prosperity.  One woman at a time, A Million SMART Women will buy-in and believe this fact to be true, and we will change the future for ourselves, our children and our grandchildren. We need your involvement. Join our Facebook page. Follow us on Instagram. Follow us on Twitter. Go to our Website. In the coming months, we will be rolling out a Women’s Leadership Learning Center, an Ambassador program, and much more. Please join us. The world needs you to LEAD.

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P.S. Please connect with me on LinkedIn to be updated on my other leadership activities.

P.P.S. Can you give me 30 seconds once a week? Then please sign up for my weekly SMARTrockets. Readers love them because they’re based on today’s science of positive well-being, take 30 seconds to read, and are easy to do. Sign up here and see for yourself.

 

Join Us at the Conscious Business World Summit Online:

FREE ONLINE EVENT

The Framework for Cultivating the Mind, Skills and Beliefs of Being a Conscious Leader

I’m proud to announce my partnership and participation in the Conscious Business World Summit, a VIRTUAL event Online from January 8-12, 2018. Join me as I discuss, Being a Conscious Leader, as well as other thought leaders, best-selling authors and thousands of business pioneers from around the world.

January 8-12, 2018
A Virtual Online Event
THE CONSCIOUS BUSINESS WORLD SUMMIT

CLICK FOR ADDITIONAL INFO

Conscious Leadership, Workplace Culture & Sustainable Business

Join top conscious leaders as they share their inspiring journeys and and life experiences on topics of:

• Conscious Leadership
• Creating a Mission Driven Organization
• Building a Conscious Workplace Culture
• Sustainability and CSR
• Personal Development for Conscious Business

It’s shaping up to be a wonderful week of inspiration and insights.  Sign up now for this FREE ONLINE EVENT.

Warmly,
Eric Kaufmann
Executive Coach l Facilitator l Speaker
Author: Four Virtues of a Leader
Fellow: Harvard’s Institute of Coaching 
TEDx Speaker: Courage is NOT what you think

 

Thanks this week go to Kind World, Heleo, Bea B,  Will M & Eric K.

Please Pay it Forward and Work with Purpose
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” –Ambrose Redmoon

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” –Plato

This week:

For 36 years I have been teaching the wisdom traditions to elevate humanity. For more than two decades, my wife has concurrently been teaching women’s self-defense classes to empower women. She recently created a curriculum for men to socialize other men about their role in being part of the solution.

Finally, sexual harassment awareness and a swift societal response seems to have reached a tipping point, as evidenced by the number of cases being brought to light in all walks of life as reflected in this recent article.

I was ‘Propositioned, Touched, Patted and Groped’ on Capitol Hill:
When I hear some men shrug off the spate of sexual harassment claims and accuse the women of lying, I’m quite certain I am not alone in that it makes me want to scream…
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2017/12/05/capitol-hill-1980-s-propositioned-touched-patted-pulled-groped-cheri-jacobus-column/919324001/

The antidote for gender inequality and power imbalances that are insidious and pervasive today is education in our formative years focused on competence and character so we can create a new normal for the next generation.
Below are some poignant examples we can both learn and teach to help us persevere and thrive:

The Great Kindness Challenge:
The Great Kindness Challenge is one day devoted to performing as many acts of kindness as possible.
It is our hope that this day will inspire a lifelong commitment to service and kindness. Anyone can participate in The Great Kindness Challenge. To be a part of this special, world-changing event, all you need to do is download The Great Kindness Challenge Checklist and choose how you would like to honor and celebrate this special day.
You don’t need to spend any money, provide any personal information or make a commitment of any kind. We just want you, and many others around the world, to enjoy giving and receiving acts of kindness. Together we can raise awareness of the power we all have to make the world a better place, every day, with even the simplest of acts. We invite and encourage groups of all types – families, clubs, teams, religious groups, etc. – to honor and celebrate The Great Kindness Challenge together.
https://thegreatkindnesschallenge.com/

The Power of Being Seen:
In Nevada a simple strategy pushes teachers to look beyond the lessons and this strategy will work for ALL of us…
https://www.edutopia.org/article/power-being-seen

Passion and Perseverance:
Angela Duckworth’s vid on Grit covers passion perseverance and potential of individuals based on social research
https://www.skillsoft.com/online-learning-resources/video_other.asp?f=angela-duckworth-true-grit.mp4

Now Add some GRIT to Accomplish Your Goals:
https://leaderchat.org/2016/09/13/add-some-grit-to-accomplish-your-goals/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Encouraging Students to Make Mistakes to Improve Math Outcomes:
Teaching students to persist using a mindset that allows them to make and learn from mistakes.
Often, that involves creating a classroom atmosphere that allows students to take risks with their thinking without fear of being laughed at or corrected…
https://edsource.org/2017/san-francisco-unified-encourages-students-to-make-mistakes-to-improve-math-outcomes/590253

Thanks this week go to Jill Mc, Paula C, Paul S, Ken B, & Brenda H.

Please pay it forward!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“If we teach today’s students as we taught yesterday’s, we rob them of tomorrow”
–John Dewey 1859-1952

This week:

Whatever your political persuasion, the current political climate suggests continued devolution trends meaning continued cutbacks with respect to social systems and asymmetrical changes to the tax code with significant implications for philanthropy and the nonprofits they support.

These shift suggest we need to take more responsibility for and control over protecting the very social fabric upon which our civilization is based, and as we approach the giving season, here are some resources to help you make informed decisions about how to express YOUR love of humanity…

EVERY Day is Philanthropy Day!

Philanthropy
The desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed especially by the generous donation of money to good causes.

San Diego State of Non Profits Report 2017: 10,844 Nonprofits in San Diego County
A very cool and digestible infographic about the assets, revenue, number and types of nonprofits, nonprofit jobs, and public confidence in the social sector locally
2017 SNOP Report

Concerning San Diego: An Interview With Me On Why Philanthropy Matters We don’t have to write fat checks to make a difference of positive consequence as local philanthropists…

The Do’s And Don’ts Of Giving Tuesday and How to Invest Wisely This Holiday Season:
Where to give, how to give and why it matters…
http://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2017/11/27/giving-tuesday-guide

Compassion IT Advocate:
Live your values…

With the holidays around the corner, it’s time to consider what gifts bring lasting joy and happiness. How about the gift of compassion? This year, we’re offering a unique way for you to give to your friends, your family, yourself, and our world…while supporting a nonprofit.

GIVE THE GIFT OF COMPASSION

Compassion It in Prison & Jails
The beauty of compassion? It benefits everyone. We recently extended our reach to include inmates of San Diego’s state prison and county jails, thanks to partnerships with the nonprofits Brilliance Inside and Prison Yoga Project. We collected and shared stories from some of the inmates, and we hope you’ll take a few minutes to read them.

READ INMATES’ STORIES

Thank you for supporting our work and for making a compassion a priority in your everyday life.

With gratitude,
Sara Schairer

Founder Compassion It
www.compassionit.com

Thanks this week go to Emily, Laura and MJ at The Nonprofit Institute, Sara S with Compassion IT, and Daily Lovers of Humanity everywhere not just on Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday etc.

Please consider paying it forward…
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it.”

This week:

To borrow from Yogi Berra, “many of us wake up on third base and think we hit a triple”!
These first two links remind us of the un-level playing field of life, and might positively reframe your gratitude index as you prepare to gobble gobble…

Are YOU Privileged?
Find out…
https://www.facebook.com/SarahRayTV/videos/1253347461436624/

United Nations Universal Children’s Day:

United Nations Universal Children’s Day was established in 1954 and is celebrated on November 20th each year to promote international togetherness, awareness among children worldwide, and improving children’s welfare. November 20th is an important date as it is the date in 1959 when the UN General Assembly adopted the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. It is also the date in 1989 when the UN General assembly adopted the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

http://www.un.org/en/events/childrenday/

Thanksgiving Insights for Conscious Leaders from Eric K:
Gratitude is recognized as one of twenty-four character strengths recognized all over the world throughout time…

Tis the season for giving thanks, gratitude is on my mind, toward you and especially in the realm of leading.

I’ve discovered that when I’m grateful I naturally focus on receiving and giving kindness. Gratitude  counterbalances an innate urge to complain and blame, and reinforces the reality of interdependence and accomplishment. When I feel into gratitude I can appreciate what’s already working in my life, even as I strive for more. As leaders we’re always striving, but without gratitude that striving and reaching and driving becomes tense and unsatisfying.

Gratitude is a feeling we can experience spontaneously, and it’s also a behavior we can cultivate deliberately. The more you establish your gratitude, the less you succumb to disappointment, and the more people feel encouraged to give back; appreciation stimulates a sense of obligation – not a forced or externally imposed obligation, but one internally generated as a response to being seen and heard, recognized and supported.

Oh, by the way, there’s some compelling science that affirms that gratitude increases resilience, improves self-esteem, improves sleep, reduces aggression, improves physical and psychological health, and strengthens relationships. (see Forbes article for more)

Here are a few insights to consider if you’d like to cultivate your gratitude: (Also, watch my video for even more guidance)

• Gratitude follows focus. Focus your attention on evidence of gratitude, and there will be much to be grateful for. Remember, we don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are. If you want to find evidence for gratitude, look for it.
• Gratitude is a choice. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, writes that external circumstances only account for ten percent of people’s happiness. Even if you receive all the things that you want, that would still not ensure your happiness. Gratitude is independent of your life circumstances. Gratitude is an attitude, not a reaction, and it builds your happiness muscles.
• Say it to believe it. In order to cultivate gratitude, begin expressing it. You may not feel it deeply, but expressing gratitude in words and actions actually heightens your personal experience of it. By speaking and writing your gratitude you strengthen your discipline in this practice, and, over time, the habit becomes established and natural.
• Competence cultivates confidence. Effort turns into habit through continuous and deliberate practice. Regularly practicing gratitude strengthens your gratitude. In time, we begin to take it for granted and feel it spontaneously. Think about the many things in your leadership that you feel grateful about—relationships, contributions from others, and advantages and opportunities. Identify aspects of your leadership for which you can be thankful, and spend a few moments each evening writing about the things for which you are grateful. Some of the things you feel grateful for might be the same, and some might be unique to that day.

Finally, consider what Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman, revealed in Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. They list gratitude as one of twenty-four character strengths recognized all over the world throughout time. Gratitude involves both acknowledging good things that happen—being mindful of present benefits—and recognizing that the sources of goodness lie outside us. Gratitude is a moral emotion acting as a moral barometer (“Someone else has done something good for me”), a moral motive (“I will now do good things for others”), and a moral reinforcement (“Remembering good things done for me gives me energy to do good for others”).
In gratitude.
Eric

The Science of Gratitude:
Kindness and Giving are Related to Gratitude…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMd1CcGZYwU

The Science of Gratitude with Susan Sarandon:
The past 10 years have seen an explosion in the scientific study of happiness. The findings so far are complex, and incomplete. But if they could be distilled into one simple prescription for happiness, it would probably be this: Say thank you. The Science of Gratitude combines scientific research with personal stories illustrating the benefits and obstacles to feeling truly grateful…
http://gratefulness.org/resource/the-science-of-gratitude/

Thanks this week to Eric K, and everyone like you committed to the wellbeing of others.

Wishing you and your loved ones a blessed Thanks Giving!

Please consider paying it forward…
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Happy Soul Food Friday!

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do”  –Goethe

This week we celebrated 36 years of teaching the wisdom traditions at UC San Diego!

In our traditional martial art we have a kata (one minute encrypted embodied experience) on what it is to be an emissary and taught this to everyone to help them develop an even richer understanding on their journey of both passion and purpose.

Here is a sampling for anyone who would like to apply some of the lessons from the wisdom traditions to your work or family on purpose:

G.I.V.E.
Our acronym to help us behave into Ikigai at camp and beyond… (see below)

G: Goethe Quote-
“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Hold yourself and others with this unconditional positive regard and great expectation and then help them behave into it

I: Inspire Others-
Since inspiring others is a complex phenomenon, while you crack the code on shifting your inspirational style to optimize theirs, simply love them!

V: Vulnerability-
Who Showed up? Your buttoned-down “performing” self or your “authentic” self?

We love you the way you are so don’t waste energy on the former, putting up elaborate shields or playing roles that are not you.

Remember to genuinely improve your performance you first have to work on your authentic self if you want transformation not just iterative improvement…

E: Experience- Let’s strive to continue to create a positive, memorable experience for one another!

As above, so below
Wherever we go, there we are

Ikigai- Clarifying YOUR Reason for Being:

More on Ikigai
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai

It is nice that these timeless universal lessons work in many aspects of our selves…

In the spirit and generosity of G.I.V.E:

The 4 critical questions we’re all unconsciously asking each other near constantly…

Here is something that was shared with me that I found profound.
https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/16020-4-questions-we-unconsciously-ask-near-constantly

Thanks this week go to all the members of Aoinagi Ken Shu Kai for their dedication to the path,  and to Dr. ‘OG’ for the link.

Pay it Forward!
Love,
Neville

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.”
— Pablo Picasso

 

I watched this episode recently and was totally blown away by it!
If you aren’t genuinely inspired get a checkup…

Making Sense of Alma:
Alma Deutscher was playing piano and violin by the time she was 3 years old and wrote her first opera at 10.
For her, making music seems as natural as breathing…
https://www.cbsnews.com/videos/alma-deutscher/

Watch a Prodigy Improvise a Piano Solo in Under a Minute from Four Notes in a Hat:
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/watch-a-prodigy-create-from-four-notes-in-a-hat/

If you are local…
National Philanthropy Day 2017

Thanks to all who inspire (breathe life into) us daily…
Pay it Forward! 

Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.”
— Albert Einstein

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design for the present.”— Jim Rohn

This week:
If there is only one article you read this week, this is it!

Turdulent Times: A Hero’s Journey:

A friend once counseled me that any truly transformative experience is preceded by dread. We’re living in dreadful times indeed. The big wheels are turning. An old order is dying — a new one is being born. This moment of cataclysmic breakdown is shattering open a space for transformational breakthrough. Although the outcome is deeply uncertain, there’s as much cause for hope as for horror. We’re taking a collective hero’s journey — a descent through the crucible of the underworld to transform human civilization and ourselves. As cultural historian Richard Tarnas puts it, “We’re in a race between initiation and catastrophe.”

https://medium.com/bioneers/turdulent-times-a-heros-journey-65d1d65828ae

 

Happiness is Other People:

Neglecting our social relationships is actually shockingly dangerous to our health. Research shows that a lack of social connection carries with it a risk of premature death comparable to that of smoking, and is roughly twice as dangerous to our health as obesity. The most significant thing we can do for our well-being is not to “find ourselves” or “go within.” It’s to invest as much time and effort as we can into nurturing the relationships we have with the people in our lives.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/27/opinion/sunday/happiness-is-other-people.html?mwrsm=Email

 

11 Habits of Supremely Happy People:

We’re always chasing something—be it a promotion, a new car, or a significant other. This leads to the belief that, “When (blank) happens, I’ll finally be happy. ”While these major events do make us happy at first, research shows this happiness doesn’t last.

https://heleo.com/11-habits-supremely-happy-people/16935/?utm_source=newsletter_the_lift&utm_campaign=10_27_17

 

These are the Happiest Cities in the US:

National Geographic Explorer and best-selling author Dan Buettner searched for the happiest Americans. Where he found them will surprise you. The study established 15 metrics from eating healthy and learning something new every day to civic engagement, financial security, vacation time and even dental checkups. Happiness doesn’t just happen. There is a genesis to it…

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/north-america/united-states/happiest-cities-united-states-2017/

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/quest-for-happiness/

Thanks this week go to Tom S, Elizabeth D, Peter D and everyone who brings us wisdom and wellbeing!

Pay it forward
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future;
it is something you design for the present.”— Jim Rohn

This week:

There are at least two kinds of silence.
The positive kind of silence which is not the absence of sound but the presence of stillness, and the destructive kind of silence which is the presence of information but the absence of response.
Even our language of perpetrator, victim and bystander leave us an out. No more bystanders- we need UPstanders! If we don’t stand up for others who will? To know and not to DO is not to know…
Get informed, take a stand and become the change you wish to see in our world!

Happy Global Oneness Day 2017 (October 24^th 2017)
Celebrate unity in our diversity, as a community consecrated to serving humanity’s collective awakening…

Global Oneness Day is a day dedicated to celebrating Oneness. Similar to Earth Day, which galvanized the global environmental movement, Global Oneness Day has become a catalyst for spiritual activism and the emerging global Oneness movement. It represents a profound new paradigm in human culture.

In the late 1960′s the first photographs of the Earth seen from space powerfully impacted humanity. We realized that all life on our beautiful blue planet was deeply connected. This understanding has deepened and expanded as more people recognize that Oneness is Divine, and the very essence of our being. Today Oneness is expressed through many diverse streams – religions, philosophies, mystical and indigenous traditions, and the sciences. These streams are overflowing their banks, commingling, and converging to form a single stream, a universal Oneness movement. Global Oneness Day is our day to celebrate unity in our diversity, as a community consecrated to serving humanity’s collective awakening.

https://www.facebook.com/G1Day/

But how can we be one if we don’t stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves?

The 17 UN Global Goals for Sustainable Development Goals That Can Help Our People and Planet:

No More No More:

Recently, as a member of the Alliance 4 Empowerment, I was privileged to facilitate a panel discussion at UC San Diego to expand community awareness on the topic of Human Trafficking. With alarming statistics on its pervasiveness, coupled by equally alarming silence on the subject, we must break the silence and destigmatize this issue if we are to permanently eradicate it. A theory of change in this regard requires both a healing component and a systemic root cause response including but not limited to empowering and educating youth, raising public awareness and yes even their ire, reducing demand, educating “buyers” on the cost and consequences and coalition forming in our communities.

Hidden in plain sight, this dark underbelly that is the worst of humanity imperils the lives of young people (not just women) who could just as easily be our sisters, daughters, mothers and friends.

We call heart disease the silent killer but there are other silent diseases out there which can be addressed if we stop the silence and spread the word. It is true when they say, “we are only as sick as our secrets”…

Sex Trafficking in San Diego- How Bad Is It?
Likely victims in the county are an average of 5,000 children and adults!
Middle-school aged girls are still being wooed into prostitution by older “Romeos” who prey on their low self-esteem and naiveté. These teens are turning into young women who feel trapped and ashamed. And there appears to be no shortage of clients demanding their sexual services…
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/public-safety/sd-me-sex-trafficking-20171013-story.html

Sexual Harassment is Not Just Part of Hollywood “Casting Couch Culture” It is Insidious in Campus Culture too:
Scientists’ sexual-harassment case sparks protests at University of Rochester.
Witze Nature 2017

We Said Enough!

Inappropriate, sexually harassing behavior cuts across every industry and facet of our society. No matter a woman’s age, weight, religion, sexual orientation, race, social status, or position of power, she is not insulated from this behavior. It is pervasive. Enough

https://www.wesaidenough.com/

No BYstanders. We need UPstanders Be the change…

 

Be the Change:
Education Counts! Support Literacy Globally and Locally
Research shows that children from low-income families have a 30,000,000 word gap by age 3 compared to their more affluent peers. You can do something about it…

Support Early Literacy in Oceanside!

Community-wide Children’s Book Drive

HELP US REACH OUR GOAL
10,000 Books for Young Children by November 9, 2017

The Oceanside Promise partners have officially launched their inaugural community-wide children’s book drive.  You can help support early literacy in Oceanside by donating new and gently books in English or Spanish for young children, ages 0-5, at any of the more than 50 participating locations.  Click the locations button below for a full list of book drop-off locations or visit OceansidePromise.org.

It’s not too late to host a book drive! For businesses, organizations and community groups interested in collecting books for young children, email oceansidepromise@gmail.com.  We’ll help you get your drive set up and connect you with resources to make it easy to engage your networks.

Find A Book Drop Location

Did you know?

Research shows that children from low-income families have a 30,000,000 word gap by age 3 compared to their more affluent peers.  Currently in Oceanside, less than 40% of children are ready for kindergarten and just 32% of 3rd grade students are proficient in English Language Arts.  You can help improve early literacy in Oceanside by supporting the community-wide children’s book drive today!

Copyright © 2017, Oceanside Promise, All rights reserved.
Our mailing address is: 603 Seagaze Drive, #734, Oceanside, CA 92058

 

Room To Read:
Get Active for Education and Gender Equality…

Thank you for believing World Change Starts with Educated Children and Gender Equality in education. 

I want to be honest, picking a date for an event is always difficult and once you do, you must stick with it even though many of your friends and supporters can’t make it.  Last weekend’s event was entertaining, inspiring and educational but you weren’t there.  We missed you and fell short of reaching our target goal of raising $30,000 for Room to Read India.  Room to Read provides life changing work for children, their families, and their communities.  We hope you will consider making a generous donation today directly through our site and as you go through the process please pull down the menu and select the San Diego chapter as your partner in global literacy and gender equality in education.

Although you may not think about your investment in our work every day, your generosity is felt daily by girls and boys around the world.  Because of you, students in places you may never have even heard of now have schools to attend, with trained teachers who know how to engage and instruct them, and books – lots of books – to explore.  This may not seem like a lot if you come from a place where education is a given, but to the children in our programs, this is revolutionary and you are part of it.  The average impact of our literacy instruction efforts on children’s reading skills is nearly 10 times greater than the average impact of 70 other similarly focused interventions.  Our Girls’ Education program is also successfully empowering girls with life skills and helping girls stay in school where they belong because of your support.  Be part of helping benefit 50,000 girls by the end of 2017!  Go big or give a little monthly donation.  Anything you can afford to do today will make a big difference. We have the opportunity to help a generation of children chart a new path – a path towards equality, health, and stability – but we need your help to get there.  I hope you will consider joining our efforts by giving the gift of education today. Thank you again for all you have already done to promote literacy and girls’ education around the world.

We want to thank you for sharing our belief that every child deserves the opportunity to unlock his or her potential.   With great appreciation,   Leora Langs San Diego Chapter Leader Room to Read

P.S. Let your company multiply your impact!  Many employers will match (or double match) the value of their employees’ gifts.  All you have to do is contact your employer and initiate the process – we will do the rest!  It’s quick, easy, and makes a world of difference.

Donate Today

 

 

Help Others That Can’t Stand Up For Themselves:
New Mission Fed spot highlights the role and mission that the San Diego Humane Society has throughout our region and our partnership with the organization…

https://youtu.be/veXoLbuOJLI

Thanks this week go to Mehrad N and the CLC gents for modeling Oneness, the women of the Alliance for Empowerment for breaking the silence and bringing critical issues to the foreground, my wife Barbara SB representing all the women in Aoinagi Karate dedicated to creating an empowering culture for young women around the country, advocates of literacy everywhere, and purpose-driven organizations in our community that serve the greater good.

Please pay it forward!
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

Live out of your imagination, not your history. Stephen Covey

This week:

Why Yoga May Be Essential for Career Happiness with Will Marre:

What would you do if you’ve learned that you were doing something every day that was making you unproductive, unhealthy, unhappy and sabotaging your relationships. More importantly, if you could easily stop this one bad habit and instead do just one thing that would help your career take off and make you healthier, happier, and improve your relationships would you do it? I will talk about the bad habit we all need to stop toward the end, but first India and the good habit.

I just got back from spending three weeks in India. The first week I spent conducting Gender Synergy workshops for a large tech company. It was very exciting to feel the enthusiasm of hundreds of male and female engineers and professionals as they learned about how bias in the workplace makes everyone less successful and the simple, Jedi-like work behaviors that transform working relationships and up-level results.

The key to engaging men in the sensitive topic of women’s equality is to point out that the cognitive differences between individuals of either sex is greater than the general differences between men and women. Yes, there are pink brain men and blue brained women. Workplace equality and opportunity begins by treating everyone like they are a genius. Once you shift your mind away from dealing with individuals as stereotypes and see them as human beings with unique talents, interests, and abilities you redefine the meaning of “inclusion.”  With that framework everyone gets a lot more interested in co-creating a culture where mutual empowerment becomes the engine of success.

So, the training was very rewarding for me to do.

But I want to tell you about some things I learned in India, and from my daughter, Nicole, who transformed her life and career through Yoga.

Yoga, the Good Habit

After the training, my wife and I travelled in Tamil Nadu, the ancient part of southern India known for its many, many temples, most of which are in full use today by millions of devout Hindu’s. One of the most obvious elements of sacred Hindu stories is the role of the feminine in all her dimensions. Both love and fierceness for the well-being of all, are prominent themes of many of the morality stories featuring Hindu Goddesses.

We also learned more about the evolution of yoga and some of it’s deeper meaning beyond posing, stretching and sweating. The simple meaning of the word yoga is UNION. You are free to interpret that meaning as you wish, but for me yoga represents the union of me with all that is. The energy that union is activated through the personal practice of uniting your mindful attention with a sacred intention to fulfill the promise of your true potential.

My temple tour thoughts about yoga combined with an evening-long conversation with Nicole lead me to these deeper ideas.

The physical practice of yoga with its focus on mindful breathing and specific body postures, release the kinks in both your muscles and your mind. Validated research confirms that the practice of yoga is the single best thing to do if you want to avoid premature aging, aches and pains, high blood pressure, and elevated levels of organ inflammation. Practicing yoga several times a week will also help you sleep more soundly, think more clearly, have better relationships and spike your level of optimism.

Amazingly, yoga is also the best exercise you can use to lose weight.  That’s because weight is lost in the kitchen not in the gym. And yoga increases our self-control and inspires confidence that we can achieve difficult goals through self-discipline. Many of the proven positive effects of yoga appear to be caused by the effect on our brains of deep states of mindfulness. Mindfulness inhibits reactive thinking and agitating triggering emotions. It reduces stress both physically and psychologically.

And yet the insight I got in India (later confirmed by research) is that low stress does not make you happy. It only creates clarity about the nature of work, love and play that will bring you happiness. Remember, happiness comes from saying yes. Yes to activities, relationships and experiences that bring you joy. Happiness is not the result of no stress, but is the feeling that arises from “inner coherence.”  This means what you do, who and how you love and the gusto with which you play reflects your deepest values and your best self.

In western psychology yoga is flow. It requires you giving 100% of your deep attention to what you are doing in the now.  This actually expands the power of your life force. This is the force of your identity and capabilities in the pursuit of what makes you fulfilled.

Thus, there is a:

• Yoga of Work
• Yoga of Love
• Yoga of Play

Yoga is the union of your deeper self with whatever you are doing now.

If this sounds exhausting it isn’t. Because yoga is both psychological and physical flow, it is a source of energy.  When you tap into this energy, whatever you are doing becomes sacred because you are connecting to something bigger than your personal fears and desires.

So, what exactly does yoga have to do with your career?  Maybe everything!

I have literally taught thousands of people how to achieve career clarity and how to become a top ten percent person in your career. (Better than 90% of people doing what you do.)

Here’s how yoga can help. When you are doing a physical yoga session you should come away feeling calm and clear. That’s how your career should make you feel. If your work doesn’t give you that kind of energy you are either doing the wrong work or doing the right work in the wrong workplace.

If you feel full of confused energy, you can do a personal yoga retreat right now while you live your present life. Here is how:

For seven days take a yoga class each day with the mindful intention of gaining clarity about what work will create the “union” in which work becomes the flow of self-expression. During this “sacred seven day retreat” do not listen to or read the news, especially political news. Eat a low carbohydrate, high protein, no sugar or sweetener diet. Mindfully eat small portions often so you are never over full or hungry. Focus on the taste and texture of the food. Listen only to instrumental music but really listen to the individual sounds of each instrument. Only look at your cell phone three times a day and only respond to emails, texts and calls three times. When you are talking to others give your full, positive attention. You may also choose to read an inspiring book instead of looking at TV. At bedtime write in your journal answering two questions:

• What does my highest self want for my life, and
• What does my highest self want for my work?

You should end the week with seven journal entries with the last one being most clear and true. This retreat, without stopping your life, is a great immersion in living mindfully.

Developing a yoga mind can also help you get clear on how to go about your present work and how you might transform it into a fulfilling career. Your yoga-life practice will deepen your thinking and calm your brain so you can get to your deeper sources of wisdom. So yoga is the good habit…

The Bad Habit We Must ALL Stop!

And now, the bad habit we must all stop. You have to defeat the enemy of the unified mind. You have to house-break your out-of-control smart phone that is crapping all over your life.

Understand this–practicing the fullness of the Yoga of Life is more important than ever because our modern technology is cunningly designed to steal your attention from important things to the fleeting urgencies of others or disturbing news that we can do nothing about.

Our smart phones are making us stupid, stressed, confused and emotionally disconnected. Just read all the research cited in this recent Wall Street Journal article.

• Experiments validate that just being in the same room with you smart phone lessens your attention in conversations with the people you love and they feel it.

 

• In other experiments, couples felt less understood and felt lower intimacy and even less trust when they had conversations with their cell phones in sight.

 

• Smart phones give us the “illusion of intelligence” but actually reduce our “cognitive capacity.”  Access to facts alone doesn’t make us wise. Smart phones can be a “cognitive crutch” which has proven to lessen your ability to interpret and solve unfamiliar problems. Since we no longer have to memorize because all data is available all the time our interior judgment is handicapped by laziness. This happens because we do not have memory of memorized facts that constitute a forest of internal knowledge that we can walk through to make decisions. We never become one with what we have learned.

 

• Just the desire to check your phone, which we do on average 80 times per day, reduces your mental abilities such as reasoning, problem solving, and creativity.

 

• In classroom experiments, students who had their cell phones visually available during tests made significantly more errors than students who had hidden their phones from sight. This is because the student’s focus was divided because part of their brain’s capacity was on alert for a possible text.

So smart phones are the anti yoga…the anti union with all that we value. They are useful tools but bad masters. When my clients are struggling for clarity I put them on a smart phone diet. They only get to interact with it 3 times a day.

The Bottom Line

If you are serious about up-grading your work, your relationships and your life but aren’t willing to do the full retreat start practicing Yoga three times per week for six weeks. Strive for inner coherence. Tame your technology. Go on a cell phone diet if you need to. Live in your “question” until you feel the union…the flow of connecting what you do with who you really are.

Don’t try…Do.

Einstein of the Ocean Turns 100:
“People are so afraid of doing something that doesn’t work. We ought to encourage students to experiment and make mistakes. We ought to give degrees for experiments done very well that have failed.”
http://ucsdnews.ucsd.edu/feature/uc-san-diego-celebrates-oldest-living-alumnus-walter-munk-as-he-turns-100?utm_campaign=thisweek&utm_medium=email&utm_source=tw-2017-10-12

The Newest Nobel Prize Winner Describes Three Ways People Mess Up Their Finances by Relying on Emotions:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/10/09/nobel-economics-winner-richard-thabehavioral-economics-says-mental-miscues-can-derail-financial-plan/747450001/

Courageous Aging- Your Best Years Ever Reimagined by Dr. Ken Druck:
Dr. Ken has done it again!
From leading the executive coaching movement, to serving as a world authority on helping us cope with grief by transmuting his own pain into humanity’s learning, Ken has now created this practical and inspirational guide to making peace with and finding joy in every season and stage of life for a population that now will not only live longer but can do it with all the dignity and wellbeing EVERY human being deserves!
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjt4_TPiP7WAhXFyoMKHaREA28QFgg5MAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.kendruck.com%2Fcourageous-aging-book%2F&usg=AOvVaw3TOdf-fYl2hoMYUU-f5S0y

 

If you are local…

Kids Free at Our Local Museums!
Here is an NBC spotlight featuring yours truly making sure our kids can enjoy more than 40 museums in the month of October
https://youtu.be/vnmOI6W1GJs

Empowerment Summit 2017: November 9^th 2017

Join Us!

Please join Supervisor Kristin Gaspar, the Office of Family Assistance of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and Solutions for Change as we discuss and explore a new vision to address the region’s toughest social issues. While San Diego County struggles with poverty, homelessness, and the lack of employment opportunities, our region has also developed innovative solutions to lift up the hardest to reach and help them to overcome dependency. Every new way of dealing with old problems starts with a vision. The purpose of this summit is to introduce an exciting new vision to address deep poverty and its symptoms. National and regional leaders will share bold and innovative ways to invest in human capital, strengthen families, and help our neighbors and communities live well.

Featured Presenters

Clarence Carter, Director Office of Family Assistance

Kristin Gaspar, Supervisor County of San Diego

Chris Megison, Founder & CEO Solutions for Change

Thursday, November 9th

10:00 AM – 3:00 PM
North Inland Live Well Center
649 W Mission Ave, Escondido, CA 92025

• Learn how non-profit organizations are innovatively addressing poverty through employment opportunities
• Get a preview of new federal and regional efforts aimed at ending dependency and transforming the lives of some of the hardest to reach
• Hear about successful models of collaboration between government, private non-profit, and for-profit investors in developing human capital
• Invitation only (lunch provided)

Click to Register (REQUIRED)

 

National Philanthropy Day 2017:  November 14, 2017

 LEARN MORE

 PURCHASE TICKETS

Thanks this week go to Cathy S, Will M, Walter M, Ken D and Conscious Leaders Everywhere!

 Please pay it forward…
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria 

“I will see it when I believe it.”
— Dr. Wayne Dyer