“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Alteration:
Though you’ve tried
to fit into
a thousand
small boxes,
perhaps comes
the day when
you’re opened
by grief or by
love, and your
thoughts unstitch
from what you knew,
and your mind
begins to rhyme
with sky, becomes
spacious enough
whole flocks
of bluebirds
can fly right
through, and
for a time you
stop trying
to make sense
of things, you
simply yield
to being
a home for
the ecstasy
of wings.
—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
Harvard expert shares his 1 tip for living a happier, more successful life A willingness to take risks is key to happiness, Harvard University social scientist and bestselling author Arthur Brooks writes in his book, “The Happiness Files.”
Queen’s Classic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ finds a new voice in Zulu It’s one of the most famous rock songs ever — Bohemian Rhapsody — and now, for the first time, it’s been translated with Queen’s blessing into Zulu.
It is my personal approach that creates the climate.
It is my daily mood that makes the weather.
I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.
If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”
“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”
-John W. Whitehead
If you could use some Self Care- Take Care of Yourself and Take Care of Others!
On Wednesday September 3rd from Noon to 1pm with NCPC and San Diego Gives; I am running a self-care webinar.
Small Things Often:Micro Habits that Foster Macro Competencies
An authentic embodied great reset- in self-compassion and self-care- for conscious leaders and culture transformers
Even the heart pumps blood to itself first. As leaders and practitioners, we often invest substantial energy in serving others, and as a result don’t always attend to our own needs. Here is an opportunity to provide you, and by extension those in your community, with simple and proven energetic techniques- supported by both western science and eastern wisdom traditions- that reduce chronic stress and upskill resilience and fortitude, particularly in times of challenge and uncertainty.
What you may not know about Me:
The wellness of business. The business of wellness.
Neville who was born in India and has invested his lifetime in bridging the east/west divide and synergizing the best of both cultures, brings over 40 years of practicing and teaching the wisdom traditions, including traditional martial arts, yoga, and meditation to this session.
He has been applying these principles in the world of work with conscious leaders as well as deep purpose driven cultures that value all stakeholders in the ecosystem, and are committed to wellness, wholeness, and purpose not just profit. This includes leading and coaching businesses, nonprofit organizations, as well as K-12 and institutions of higher education, while serving in his executive role at Mission Fed. Additionally, he serves on a variety of boards and volunteers his time to uplift those furthest from opportunity in our San Diego community.
Neville, and NCPC are honored to bring these micro habits to the San Diego community with “Small things often!”
If you are interested, please register here and you can get the recording even if you can’t make the actual event and do share with your network please!
The little boy came to our table of leather-clad bikers and slammed down a paper that said, “DADDY’S FUNERAL – NEED SCARY MEN.”
His tiny fingers were still stained with marker ink, and his Superman cape was on backwards. The diner went dead silent as fifteen members of the Iron Wolves MC stared at this kid who couldn’t have weighed forty pounds soaking wet.
“My mom said I can’t ask you,” he announced, his chin jutting out defiantly. “But she’s crying all the time and the mean boys at school said daddy won’t go to heaven without scary men to protect him.”
Big Tom, who’d done two tours in Afghanistan and had a skull tattooed on his neck, carefully picked up the paper. It was a child’s drawing of stick figures on motorcycles surrounding a coffin, with “PLEASE COME” written in backwards letters.
“Where’s your mom, little man?” Tom asked, his voice a low rumble that usually preceded a fight but was now impossibly gentle.
The boy pointed through the window to a beat-up Toyota where a young woman sat with her head in her hands. “She’s scared of you. Everyone’s scared of you. That’s why I need you.”
I’d seen Tom break a man’s jaw for disrespecting his bike. But his hands shook as he read what else was on that paper – a date, tomorrow, and an address for Riverside Cemetery.
“What was your daddy’s name?” someone asked from the back.
“Officer Marcus Rivera,” the boy said proudly. “He was a police officer. A bad man shot him.”
The silence in the diner got heavier, thick enough to choke on. Cops and bikers weren’t exactly natural allies. Most of us had been hassled, profiled, some even beaten by police. And now this cop’s kid was asking us to honor his fallen father.
Tom stood up slowly, his towering frame casting a shadow over the small table. “What’s your name, superman?”
“Miguel. Miguel Rivera.”
“Well, Miguel Rivera,” Tom said, kneeling so he was eye to eye with the boy, a giant meeting a sparrow. “You tell your mom that your daddy’s going to have the biggest, loudest, scariest escort to heaven any police officer ever had.”
The boy’s eyes went wide. “Really? You’ll come?”
“Brother,” Snake spoke up from the corner, and I could hear the conflict in his voice. “He was a cop.”
“He was a father,” Tom said firmly, his gaze never leaving Miguel’s. “And this little warrior just did the bravest thing I’ve seen all year. We ride.”
The next morning, I arrived at the cemetery two hours early. I thought I’d be the only one, a chance to get my head right before the awkwardness and the stares. But then my jaw dropped.
The narrow road leading to the cemetery entrance was already lined with bikes. Not just the fifteen of us from the diner, but our entire chapter. Forty men, standing quietly by their polished Harleys, the morning sun glinting off the chrome. But that wasn’t what stopped my heart. Further down the road, another group was pulling in. The Vipers. Our bitter rivals. And behind them, the Sons of Odin. Word had gotten out. A call had been made for scary men, and the entire goddamn scary underworld had answered.
When the funeral procession finally arrived, the hearse slowed to a stop. I saw Miguel in the car behind it, his small face pressed against the glass. His mother looked up, and her hand flew to her mouth, her expression of fear melting into stunned disbelief.
There were over a hundred of us. A silent army of leather and steel.
At some unseen signal from Tom, a hundred engines roared to life at the exact same instant. The sound was biblical. It wasn’t angry or aggressive; it was a deep, thundering proclamation. We are here. We formed a double line, a guard of honor for the hearse and the family and escorted them through the gates.
At the graveside, a small group of uniformed officers stood stiffly, their honor guard looking tense as we dismounted. They watched us, we watched them. But there was no trouble. We formed a wide, silent circle around the service, our backs to the family, facing outward. We were a wall, protecting their grief from the world.
After the service, as the last of the mourners were leaving, the police chief walked over to Big Tom. He was a hard-looking man I’d seen on the news a dozen times. He stopped, looked at Tom, then at the sea of bikers standing in silent respect.
“I… I don’t have the words,” the chief said, his voice rough. “Officer Rivera was a good man.”
Tom just gave a short, sharp nod. “He had a good son.”
That’s when I saw Miguel, holding his mother’s hand, walking purposefully toward us. He stopped in front of Tom, who immediately knelt again. Miguel wasn’t wearing his cape anymore. He was holding the folded American flag from his father’s coffin.
He held it out. “This is for you,” he said, his voice clear and steady.
Tom gently pushed it back. “No, little man. That’s yours. That’s your daddy’s.”
“My daddy was a hero,” Miguel said, pushing the flag firmly into Tom’s huge, tattooed hand. “He protected people. And today, you protected him.”
Tom stared at the flag in his hand, his jaw working, his whole-body trembling. The man I’d seen walk through a bar fight without flinching was completely undone by a forty-pound superhero. He couldn’t speak. He just nodded, his eyes shining with tears he refused to let fall.
We didn’t ride away with a roar. We left one by one, a quiet rumble that spoke of a respect that went deeper than clubs or colors or the badges on a uniform. We had come because a little boy asked for scary men. But we left knowing we’d just met the bravest one of all.
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.”- Carl Jung
I’ve studied hundreds of highly successful kids—the No. 1 thing their parents teach early: Parenting expert Jennifer Breheny Wallace has spent six years studying hundreds of high-achieving kids. Here’s why she says a “mattering mindset” is the secret to their success, and how parents can cultivate it from a young age.
“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” – Nelson Mandela
How 9 minutes of daily HIIT may improve kids’ brain function and learning, according to research Researchers say nine minutes of exercise may be enough to boost children’s mood and cognitive skills.
“Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not.
We heal our wounds with the love we wish we’d received, but are often blind to the wounds we inflict.” ― Andrew Solomon
+ A feel good vid
Lion Seeks Forgiveness from Dog Best Friend in Heartwarming Gesture That Gains 30M Views Friendships in the animal world can be full of surprises, especially when they involve a lion and a dog. While lions are often seen as fierce predators, sometimes they form bonds that defy all expectations.
“The true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own.
Great leaders truly care about those they are privileged to lead
and understand that the true cost of the leadership privilege comes at the expense of self-interest.”
Through the North County Philanthropy Council (NCPC) where I am currently board president, at the end of this month we are running an 8-month Impact Leadership Accelerator for emerging leaders. Sign up Deadline is August 22nd.
As you probably know when budgets are tight it’s typically marketing and leadership development that get cut, but effective storytelling for impact, and equipping our leaders for this BANI (brittle, anxious, non-linear, and incomprehensible) world is precisely what we need to navigate uncertainty and future proof our organizations.
“Though the present drifts in uncertainty, let there be no doubt that the future unfolds in light.”
We are looking for a few sponsors to invest in either orgs they care deeply about and perhaps already support, and/or people they believe in.
The total cost for the program is $550 per person and intentionally designed to be accessible and impactful.
Grant Oliphant, CEO of the Prebys Foundation was our first guest speaker, followed by a Women in Leadership panel featuring Krishna Kabra, Beatrice Palmer, and Idara Ogunsaju.
Links to both these webinars as well as more details are available at the link below:
We have 3 cohorts filled and have just a few more slots in case you know of anyone that could benefit from this program at this critical time, run by our leadership committee, headed up by Jim Ristuccia a Vistage chair, along with several seasoned leaders, in both the business and social sectors.
Unique Benefits of this One-Of-A-Kind Leadership Experience:
Exclusive opportunities to hear from renowned subject matter experts in the nonprofit space on topics that are very relevant to the current operating environment, with an eye toward building resiliency and capacity for a strong future.
In-depth group discussions of topics facilitated by skilled coaches.
Peer-to-peer collaborations for sharing knowledge, experiences, advice, and mutual support of one another in meeting your challenges and opportunities.
Access to experienced, conscientious coaches for 1:1 assistance throughout the program.
Valuable assessments with personalized feedback and insights to identify strengths and opportunities for growth as a leader.
Hands-on Capstone Project: a group mastermind project to help a real, local nonprofit solve a specific challenge.
A free one year-membership in NCPC upon successful completion of the 8-month experience.
Opportunity in subsequent years to maintain connection with your cohort and give back to the program as a coach, committee member, or both.
The kickoff session is Aug 27 from 9 to noon at Mission Fed HQ.
See below and please share with your networks too!
Accelerate your impact—in your career, your organization, and your community—through a transformative leadership experience that delivers lasting results.Offered exclusively by NCPC. Welcome to a unique leadership development journey tailored to your individual growth. Whether you’re just stepping into leadership or looking to deepen your influence, this program meets you where you are—and helps you go further, faster. Here’s why Kristian Browning, a participant in last year’s program, found it so beneficial, in her own words: “The Impact Leadership Accelerator gave me exactly what I was looking for—meaningful connections throughout the county and access to impactful mentors who provided ongoing support even after the program ended. More than just skill-building, it offered validation and a steady stream of energy to continue doing meaningful nonprofit work, while creating lasting relationships with mentors like Jim and Adri who continue to provide guidance, recommendations, and networking opportunities that will be invaluable as I advance in my career.“Kristian Browning, Director of Special Projects and Development, SupplyBank.org Don’t miss the August 27th kickoff of this8-month leadership development program tailored tononprofit professionals with a panel discussion on how to —FUTURE PROOF YOUR CAREER —Build Skills That Endure in Uncertain Times This discussion will explore practical steps to strengthen your career—focusing on developing leadership skills, expanding expertise across multiple areas, becoming the go-to person in your organization, and nurturing a strong professional network. Participants will walk away with strategies to grow their influence and resilience, even in turbulent times. Meet Our Expert Panel:Trevor Blair, CEO, Blair Search PartnersSarah Agee, President, Sterling Search Inc.Dr. Laura Deitrick, Executive Director of The Nonprofit Institute; Professor of Practice; Department of Leadership Studies Program Director Moderated by Neville Billimoria, NCPC Board President, & SVP Marketing and Membership at Mission Federal Credit UnionRegister for the 8-month program now and join us for Day One of this extraordinary journey.LEARN MORE AND REGISTER »Join by 8/22 to receive your DISC personal assessment.
Thanks for your consideration and blessings for all you do to make San Diego America’s Kindest and most Purposeful Region!
Love,
Neville
The word philanthropy comes from two Greek words – philein, meaning to love, and anthropos (as in anthropology), meaning humankind.
And so, philanthropy means love of humanity.
That’s really who a philanthropist is – one who acts out of love for humankind.
Do You Deserve Some Time for Self-Care and Self-Compassion?
As leaders and practitioners, we often invest substantial energy in serving others, and as a result don’t always attend to our own needs. Here is an opportunity to provide you, and by extension those in your community, with simple and proven energetic techniques- supported by both western science and eastern wisdom traditions- that reduce chronic stress and upskill resilience and fortitude, particularly in times of challenge.
This California City Was Just Named the Best Place in the U.S. to Watch the Sunset: A new ranking crowned a Southern California destination No. 1 for sunset lovers.
New Data Proves It: You Need to Go to More Parties: The time Americans spend at parties is down 50 percent. That’s terrible for our happiness, health, and careers. It’s the dog days of summer, so our free time should be packed with backyard barbecues, al fresco dinner parties, or lakeside hangs. But if your own social calendar is looking a little bare this year, you are not alone. As journalist and author Derek Thompson reported on his Substack newsletter recently, new data shows Americans are in the depths of a nationwide party recession.
The 10 most expensive U.S. metro areas to buy a home–half are in California: By median price, San Jose, California, is the most expensive metro area for U.S. homebuyers for the second year in a row, per a report from SmartAsset.
Why protecting your vagus nerve is key to optimal mental health: It’s the body’s information superhighway that tells your organs how to rest. What is the vagus nerve? Your brain is connected to your body through a set of 12 crucial nerve networks that descend through your spine and branch out into your body. Of these, the vagus nerve is probably one of the most important. Its tendrils influence digestion, your heart, your reflexes and your breathing. So you can see why scientists are so interested in what the vagus nerve does – especially when you consider how all the above affects your mood.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritualbeings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Signs of Spiritual Wellness:
Developing a purpose in life.
Having the ability to spend reflective time alone.
Taking time to reflect on the meaning of events in life.
Having a clear sense of right and wrong, and acting accordingly.
Having the ability to explain why you believe what you believe.
The Connection Between Spirituality and Mental Health: There are many ways for people to embrace their spirituality, which can come with surprising benefits.
The Japanese art of ‘forest bathing’ can improve focus, lower stress: Forest bathing is becoming more and more popular. Here’s what it is and how it can positively improve your mental health.
There’s A Huge Difference Between Being ‘Nice’ And Being ‘Kind’: These words are often used interchangeably, but experts say one is much better quality than the other.
Financial stress can damage your mental health. These steps may help: With people losing their jobs and the stock market rocky, there’s a lot of financial anxiety right now. Research shows how you approach it can be key to protecting your mental and physical health.
The Hidden Toll of Stress on Men’s Health + How Real Men Heal Addresses It with Greg Snaer:
For centuries, men have been conditioned to internalize stress rather than process it – with profound consequences for physical and mental health. The research is clear: unaddressed stress impacts men differently than women, affecting everything from heart health to cognitive function. The Science of Male Stress Patterns Research shows that men typically experience stress through: Physical manifestations (muscle tension, sleep disruption) Decreased emotional awareness Work performance anxiety Isolation from support systems Difficulty asking for help As Dr. Mark Jesinoski, clinical psychologist and Real Men Heal facilitator, explains: “Men often don’t recognize stress until it manifests as physical symptoms or relationship challenges. Creating space for men to identify and address stress proactively is essential for long-term wellbeing.” How Real Men Heal Addresses These Patterns Our retreat is specifically designed to address male stress patterns through: Physical Reconnection – Morning movement practices and nature immersion to release tension Emotional Intelligence – Workshops that develop awareness of emotional states Communal Support – Structured experiences that normalize asking for and receiving help Herbal Wisdom – Ancient practices adapted for modern men’s stress management Practical Tools – Take-home practices that integrate easily into daily life What stress patterns have you observed in yourself or the men in your life? To collective healing, Greg
Easy Ways to Regulate Your Cortisol Levels in the Morning and Have a Stress-Free Day: Good morning! As you probably already know, cortisol is the big hype of 2025.
Ice facials: is submerging your face in a bowl of ice water really an effective way to manage stress and anxiety? ‘Ice facials’ for stress and anxiety are all over social media – but do they work? We asked an expert to weigh in.
The TIPP technique – which stands for temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation provides a good framework.
This 60-Second Breathing Hack Instantly Lowers Stress: Stress is unavoidable. Work, relationships, and daily responsibilities create tension. While stress is natural, too much can harm your health. Elevated cortisol levels lead to fatigue, anxiety, and trouble sleeping.
3 takeaways from a cardiologist and ‘Super Agers’ researcher on how to live longer and healthier Dr. Eric Topol says science can make “big inroads by preventing age-related diseases.”
Neuroscientist Reveals How Working These 2 Muscle Groups Boosts Motivation Instantly A top neuroscientist explains the surprising link between leg day and your drive to work out.
How cells sense exercise: A new path to health and energy For centuries, exercise has been prescribed as a remedy for better health, strength, and mood. We know that physical activity lowers disease risk, improves mental well-being, and boosts longevity.
Current times require new responses girthed in organizational resilience, conscious leadership, advocacy, collaborative funding, data and technology enhancements and peer learning networks for the social sector. Join us to meet the moment and focus on what matters most as we support one another and uplift our beloved San Diego community.
Here are a couple of high value opportunities if they resonate:
Join Ascent and a panel of experts for a timely conversation on what student loan borrowers should keep in mind when paying for their education this year. We’ll explore the evolving student loan landscape, offer practical guidance for both federal and private borrowers, and highlight alternative ways to pay for school — including scholarships, grants, and other financial aid opportunities.
Whether you’re currently in school, preparing to start, or navigating repayment, this session will provide you with tools to make informed decisions and feel more confident about your financial path forward.
This Is the Friendliest City in the U.S.—and It’s a Coastal Paradise Looking for a warm welcome? These are the friendliest cities in the U.S., according to a new report.
3 takeaways from a cardiologist and ‘SuperAgers’ researcher on how to live longer and healthier: Dr. Eric Topol says science can make “big inroads by preventing age-related diseases.”
These mesmerizing marine shots earned a pro drone pilot the coveted Aerial Photographer of the Year title The International Aerial Photographer of the Year Awards celebrate stunning bird’s-eye-view imagery.
Emotionally Intelligent People Use the Ancient Greek ‘Kairos’ Rule to Reduce Anxiety and Make the Most of Their Time: The ancient Greeks didn’t see time the way we do. There’s a lot to learn from their approach.
Do you suffer from “time anxiety”? Before you answer, consider if any of the following scenarios sound familiar: You get a late start, and the whole day you’re running behind You always feel rushed, to the point that you start to get panicky. You look at your task list at the end of the day, and you’ve only finished half of what you planned. You constantly feel that time is slipping away…
Happiness researcher shares his ’90-second rule’ to live a more fulfilled life: Mo Gawdat says you can find happiness in 90-seconds using this quick, science-backed hack after something makes you sad, angry or unsettled.
I tried Denmark’s No. 1 secret to happiness for a year—it made me happier and more confident: While teaching in Denmark, one of the world’s happiest countries, Professor Marina Cooley discovered that hobbies are integral to joy and balance in life.
Science couldn’t be clearer: kindness makes leaders more successful. The best of the best are kind in three distinct ways.
1. Interpersonal kindness
2. Practical kindness
3. Developmental kindness
Research shows that firms with kinder CEOs perform better financially on average. The same goes for middle managers. Kinder bosses’ teams perform better. Promoting a sense of trust, decency, and justice leads to higher productivity, growth, and profits.
Acts of kindness can make you happier and healthier: 3 simple ways to give: The World Happiness Report recently dove into research about how acts of kindness like volunteering and donating to charity improves wellbeing.
Astronaut shares the big ‘lie’ he realized after seeing the Earth during 178 days in space: It was a transformative moment for former NASA astronaut Ron Garan, and might be for you too…
Check out this cool experience from this past weekend with my son Arman and The Uninvited band playing at The Troubadour in LA this last weekend.
Got to love the unintentional redo of Rocketman with Elton!
There is so much we don’t know about the power of music, but here are a few insights that might change your tune.
Stay in harmony…
Love,
Neville
Bruce Lee Mocked by Famous Pianist Vladimir Horowitz. He Played and Silenced the Whole Room:
In 1970, martial arts icon Bruce Lee finds himself at a party for Hollywood A-listers. It isn’t the kind of place he’d usually frequent, but he’s there as a favor. He unexpectedly finds himself being mocked by legendary pianist Vladimir Horowitz at the exclusive Beverly Hills gathering. What begins as a clash of egos soon transforms into a profound exchange about discipline, instinct, and the true meaning of art. As tension rises and the room holds its breath, Bruce sits at the piano and silences everyone. But the real surprise comes later, when music builds an unexpected bridge between the two men.
The doctor said, ‘be happy.’ Music therapy can help cancer patients do that: A new study shows that music therapy is as effective as cognitive behavioral therapy at helping cancer patients and survivors heal emotionally.
Serenading Cells with Audible Sound Alters Gene Activity: Audible sound can affect gene activity in mouse cells, boosting the attachment of muscle precursors to their scaffolding and decreasing fat accumulation Biology The cells in your ears aren’t the only ones listening: recent research suggests that crucial cells throughout the body may respond to audible sound. Experiments described in Communications Biology revealed more than 100 genes whose activity changed in response to these acoustic waves, pointing to possible medical applications.
Is there a link between mental illness and musical creativity? | Classical Music: The cliché of the ‘mad genius’ has long perpetuated the idea that creativity and mental illness are linked. But asks Rebecca Franks, how true is that notion?
Read on to discover if there is a link between mental illness and creativity…
The ‘mad genius’… a cliché centuries in the making ‘No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.’
That was the view of Aristotle. It’s a powerful idea that has travelled down the ages.
David Byrne Stars in ‘The Art of Sound,’ L-Acoustics’ New Documentary on ‘Audio’s Hidden Language’: Professional audio technology specialists L-Acoustics, in collaboration with Black Meteor, have launched “The Art of Sound,” a three-part documentary series that merges scientific discovery with artistic insight to explore sound’s fundamental role in human evolution and its continuing influence.
Happy Soul Food Friday! 