The events of the past week clearly cry out for more empathy from us all…
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”– Henry David Thoreau
Empathy is at the heart of all good design. Without the understanding of what others see, feel, and experience, designing anything is a pointless task. Alternatively, when communicated as in the example below, empathy can be truly inspirational. What the following Cleveland Clinic movie reveals is the true scale and complexity of the challenge of understanding a complex social situation in order to design a system that supports many and various needs.
How do you go about being inspired by empathy?
9 Points to Ponder on the Paris Shooting and Charlie Hebdo
WHAT IF…”going with the flow” could actually disrupt your flow?
RESEARCH SAYS: Creativity and structure actually work together. When you’re trying to rise to the next level, sticking to a schedule and setting goals isn’t a drag—it helps your brain focus and gain traction.
TRY THIS: Think of one creative goal you’d like to accomplish this year–redecorating a room in your house, streamlining a system at work, finishing that secret novel hiding in your desk drawer. Now make a structure for just this week that helps you work on it. Tell us how you feel at the end of the week. How much closer did you get to your goal than if the structure wasn’t there? Recent Tips:
If you are like the rest of us, you’ve probably gained a few pounds, hopefully got to sleep a few extra rounds, and might have caught a movie or dug some new sounds…
Now many of us get back to the routinization of life with both its promises and perils.
In 2015 are you ready for WE not Me?
If it is to be, it is up to WE!
What’s YOUR Social Mission?
As Social Mission is important both to my organization and to me personally, I am honored to invest my energy in advancing the mission of the non-profit community, and serve on the Board of the San Diego Non Profits Association (SDNA) and other local organizations. Here are some factoids about the local social sector that might surprise you…
Local Non Profits:
In San Diego there are:
9,364 Nonprofits of which 3,700 account for $19.77B in total assets and 2,140 have paid employees that generated $5.2B in wages- making the social sector a large contributor to the local economy.
Volunteerism:
Even though strategic volunteering is valued nationally at over $1B per year, more San Diegans donate their treasure rather than their time or talent. Volunteering locally ranges from a high of 37% to an all-time low of 30% in Q4 of 2013. What is up with that?
Over the past three years, every year I have invested 450 hours a year in strategic volunteering and social mission, with a strong ROSI (return on Social investment) both for the stakeholder groups and for myself.
Please don’t underestimate the impact of your time and talent! You can transform lives, so get out there and get re-engaged in 2015!
Public Confidence:
Has remained stable in San Diego over the past 3 years with 85% to 89% expressing confidence in San Diego’s Non Profit Community.
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
Put Your Money Where Other People’s Mouths Are:
In the first full week of 2015 our Membership & Marketing team kept the holiday spirit alive, and started the year right by volunteering our time at the San Diego Food Bank.
Hunger remains a big issue in our community and every bit helps.
Hunger and Poverty Right Here In San Diego County:
Of San Diego County’s 3.1 million residents, did you know that 462,269 people live in poverty – that’s 15.1% of the population of San Diego County.
To make matters worse, 137,084 are children.
Our neighbors face “food insecurity” which means that little or no food is available at home and often they will not know how they will get their next meal.
The SD Food Bank feeds 320,000 people per month in partnership with 330 nonprofit community partners including: food pantries, soup kitchens, shelters, low-income daycare centers, senior centers, churches, schools, and day centers for the elderly and disabled.
The Food Bank’s nonprofit partners collect food from its 72,000 sq. ft. warehouse in Miramar and distribute the food directly to people in need in their local communities. By acting as a central distribution point and through its own direct distributions the Food Bank and its nonprofit partners provide food to communities throughout the county’s 4,200 square mile radius.
In the fiscal year 2012 – 2013, the Food Bank distributed nearly 20 million pounds of food – the equivalent of 16.6 million meals.
As a barometer of the county’s economic health, Food Bank’s distribution increases illustrate the impact of the economy on local families.
In 2008 the Food Bank provided food to more than 200,000 people per month. This year the Food Bank is feeding 320,000 people every month.
How you can help:
There are many ways you can help the Food Bank.
Donate food – Host a food drive at your school, business or religious organization. (We do several times a year)
Donate time – The Food Bank relies on volunteers to sort and package tons of food every day. Visit our website and sign up to volunteer using our online registration system: http://sandiegofoodbank.org/volunteer-2/ (Take your kids and spend an hour. It will give them perspective)
Donate money – Monetary donations help supplement the “lottery” of food drive donations. For every $1 donated, the Food Bank can provide five meals. $1 = 5 meals.
Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.
Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “Thank You Walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
Make your first meal the biggest and your last meal the smallest. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.
Talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself and feed your mind with the words and encouragement you need to keep moving forward.
Choose faith instead of fear. Faith turns adversities and dead-ends into detours to a better outcome than you thought possible.
Don’t chase dollars or success. Decide to make a difference and build meaningful relationships and success will find you.
Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.
Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in your purpose, people and the positive present moment.
Build your life and career with the 3 greatest success strategies of all. Love, Serve and Care.
Every day focus on your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.
Remember there’s no such thing as an overnight success. There’s no substitute for hard work.
Believe that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.
Implement the No Complaining Rule. If you are complaining, you’re not leading.
Read more books than you did in 2014. I happen to know of a few good ones. : )
Don’t seek happiness. Instead decide to live with passion and purpose and happiness will find you.
Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.
Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished____________.
Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.
Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.
The Power of Music:
A kid got bored while his parents shopped in Costco until he found this piano.
Thanks this week go to, Sue S and the SDN Board, Larry H, the SD Food Bank, the Mission Fed Volunteer Team, and those that invest their time, treasure and talent in the greater good.
Happy 2015!
Pay it Forward
Love,
Neville
“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.”
– Confucius: Chinese teacher, editor, politician, and philosopher
Have you said to yourself recently… I need to slow down, have more fun, take more time for my family…breathe? Well what you’re really saying is this: I need to simplify my life!
One of my favorite quotes is:
“Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.”
—Goethe
Well guess what… we’ve all been guilty!
LESS IS MORE!
a brief excerpt from the introduction to Dial It Down… Live It Up
Excerpt from Introduction From Dial it Down, Live it Up by Jeff Davidson
To begin, we need to understand that complexity is a universal norm, while simplicity in your life is an achievable exception.
Today, the term simplicity means different things to different people. For some, it is the quest for more control over their time or space, with less to clean or maintain. For others, it’s having less stress, fewer bills to pay, or more leisure time. Many associate simplicity with a peaceful state of mind, often linked with spirituality. Your personal quest for simplicity might encompass one or all of these.
We’ve arrived at the point where technology and information come hurtling towards us; we’re pummeled by innumerable rules, instructions, and laws that we are expected to know and heed. It’s no wonder that we feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
Not surprisingly, more people are reassessing how they work and live in order to achieve a simpler, more effective lifestyle which doesn’t sacrifice what matters to them. That’s what Dial It Down, Live It Up is all about.
Get Engaged in 2015: What the Heck is Employee Engagement?
Choose wisely. It is only your work life!
Thanks to all of you for a Soul Filled Year and Best Wishes for a New One!
To keep soul-filled here are some good sites to curate your own content, light your fuse and feed your community…
Thanks this week go to George G, Larry H, the Mission Fed team that supports Soul Food Friday, Family near and far & Friends and Fellow Community Members on this little blue planet…
Pay it Forward!
Love,
Neville
Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become.
Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil. ~ James Allen
Enjoy this link sharing holiday cheer and your SFF for the end of this year
This week:
Humor: UPS Pilots and Maintenance
Obsolescence: Ten Things That Will Eventually Disappear In Our Lifetime
Aspiration: Can we Hold Ourselves to a Higher Standard Than Self-Interest?
Perspective: Putting America’s 16 Trillion Dollar Economy in Global Perspective:
Freedom: Flying with Hawks at Torrey Pines:
Wonder: It’s An Amazing World
Humor: UPS Pilots and Maintenance
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs
on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the
next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
Obsolescence: Ten Things That Will Eventually Disappear In Our Lifetime
Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them.
But, ready or not, here they come…
The Post Office
Get ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply in
financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. Email,
FedEx, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to
keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.
The Check
Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with check by 2018. It
costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process checks. Plastic
cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the check.
This plays right into the death of the post office. If you never paid your bills
by mail and never received them by mail, the post office would absolutely
go out of business.
The Newspaper
The younger generation simply doesn’t read the newspaper. They certainly
don’t subscribe to a daily delivered print edition. That may go the way of the
milkman and the laundry man. As for reading the paper online, get ready to
pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all
the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met
with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model
for paid subscription services.
The Book
You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold in your hand
and turn the literal pages I said the same thing about downloading music from
iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I quickly changed my mind when I
discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home
to get the latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can browse
a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter before you buy. And the
price is less than half that of a real book. And think of the convenience! Once
you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that
you are lost in the story, can’t wait to see what happens next, and you forget
that you’re holding a gadget instead of a book.
The Land Line Telephone
Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don’t need it
anymore. Most people keep it simply because they’ve always had it. But you
are paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies
will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against
your minutes.
Music
This is one of the saddest parts of the change story. The music industry is
dying a slow death. Not just because of illegal downloading. It’s the lack of
innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would
like to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem. The record labels and
the radio conglomerates are simply self-destructing. Over 40% of the music
purchased today is “catalogue items,” meaning traditional music that the public
is familiar with. Older established artists. This is also true on the live concert
circuit. To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check out the
book, “Appetite for Self-Destruction” by Steve Knopper, and the video
documentary, “Before the Music Dies.”
Television Revenues
To the networks are down dramatically. Not just because of the economy.
People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers. And
they’re playing games and doing lots of other things that take up the time
that used to be spent watching TV. Prime time shows have degenerated down
to lower than the lowest common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing
and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good
riddance to most of it. It’s time for the cable companies to be put out of
our misery. Let the people choose what they want to watch online and
through Netflix.
The “Things” That You Own
Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but
we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply reside in
“the cloud.” Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your
pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your software is on a CD or DVD,
and you can always re-install it if need be. But all of that is changing.
Apple, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest “cloud services.”
That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into
the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied
straight into the Internet. If you click an icon, it will open something in the
Internet cloud. If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you
may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider. In this virtual world,
you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop
or handheld device. That’s the good news. But, will you actually own any of
this “stuff” or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big “Poof?”
Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical? It makes
you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from
the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.
Joined Handwriting (Cursive Writing)
Once called Penmanship. Already gone in some schools who no longer teach
“joined handwriting” because nearly everything is done now on computers or
keyboards of some type (pun not intended)
Privacy
If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would
be privacy. That’s gone. It’s been gone for a long time anyway.. There are
cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your
computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7, “They” know who
you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the
Google Street View. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion
profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits.. “They” will try
to get you to buy something else. Again and again and again.
All we will have left that which can’t be changed… are our “Memories” and even these are selective…
Can we Hold Ourselves to a Higher Standard Than Self-Interest?
By Will Marre
Business is bad. I am not referring to financial performance but rather moral performance. Capitalism is amoral. It has no intrinsic moral agenda. You can start an enterprise that makes boatloads of money selling cigarettes or selling treatments for the lung cancer it causes. Actually both these business models are currently thriving. And as far as most Wall Street investors are concerned there is no distinction between a business whose product is designed to kill people and a business whose products are designed to save people. How did we get here?According to the patron saint economist of modern capitalism, Milton Friedman, the purpose of business is to make money as efficiently as possible. And that’s it. According to his doctrine the only ethical obligation a business leader has is to his investors. Friedman proclaimed the glories of amoral self-interest in a series of PBS programs that aired in the 1970s. His ideas transformed our MBA schools and sanctified the dogma that “greed is good.”
So how is this working for us? Obviously some people at the top of the capitalism food-chain are doing spectacularly well. Today’s radically materialistic capitalism also justifies workplaces in which employees have no job security, no earned retirement, and are continually told to do more with less. Business leaders have harnessed tools of modern technology to keep their employees working from dawn to midnight. We are told that our life-balance has become both silly and irrelevant in our highly competitive economy. So get over it…“do whatever it takes.”
Yet many of the same companies make so much money that they literally don’t know what to do with it. So activist investors insist leaders use the profits you gave your nights and weekends for to buy back their company’s stock. This is simply a magic trick to try to temporarily increase the stock price so that short-term investors can cash out.
How could this happen? I spent over three decades advising CEOs and executives of large publicly traded corporations. So I believe I have an answer to how it happened.
It’s called Hard Power.
Here’s how it works. Brain research that correlates personality types with neural networks reveal that the mental model of highly competitive people tends to focus on power, status, control and self-interest. The areas of the brain that evaluate stimulus and drive action of hard-charging, self-focused people light up when opportunities for personal gain are detected. This focus is a significant advantage in hierarchical organizations. Since hierarchies concentrate power in the few people at the top, people who are power-driven tend to succeed. Put simply, most business organizations are rigged to reward self-centered, status seeking, goal-focused individuals. This is not a criticism. It is a description of reality.
The advantage of highly competitive people is their mastery of hard power. Hard power concentrates energy on goal setting and accountability. The most motivating goals are tangible…achievements that can be easily measured. And there is nothing easier to measure than money. As long as we cling to the insane idea that the primary purpose of business is to make money hard power leaders will define our future.
I am concerned that the myopia of hard power thinking will make the world more dangerous and less sustainable than it needs to be. Technology is the wildcard. Today, technology allows the destructive forces of what used to take thousands of people to do to be concentrated in the hands of very few. I’m not just referring to terrorism but also the fate of our entire international financial system, energy grid, clean air, plentiful water, healthy oceans and all of the rest that underlie our quality of life.
It’s simple. We are more interdependent now than ever before in history and the flaws of hard power and an amoral view of business creates unprecedented personal vulnerability.
So, what’s the solution?
Well it’s not soft power. Soft power is rooted in co-operation for mutual benefit. It relies on empathy, collaboration, inclusiveness, open-mindedness and an active interest in the well-being of others. Personality studies of soft power oriented people show they are most interested in helping others achieve their goals. They also want to relieve suffering and solve problems. In most organizations soft power people are found in mid-level management. Hard power people make the goals and soft power people help them achieve them. Soft power people remain stuck in middle management because they are lousy at speaking up, advocating for their self-interest and pressing their agenda. Often they feel victimized and overwhelmed. Many soft power people fall into the trap of “learned helplessness,” mal-adapting to an ever-decaying status quo.
It shouldn’t surprise you that developmental brain research indicates that most men are primarily wired to use hard power and that women’s brains are designed to rely on soft power. Although we don’t know for sure, it appears that about midway through gestation a typical male baby’s developing brain becomes bathed in testosterone which pre-wires later cognitive development for linear thinking, competitiveness, self-interest and struggles with impulse control.
Female baby’s brains are bathed in estrogen which appears to trigger their brains to develop more holistic thinking patterns, long-term thinking, empathy and collaborative intelligence. (Although this is not settled neuro-science it sure explains a lot.)
When you look at the design advantages of a typical female brain; holistic, long-term, empathetic and collaborative, you can immediately recognize the inherent leadership advantages these abilities bring to modern business organizations. Unfortunately, I found that much of the time these advantages go unrewarded.
That’s because business organizations are defectively designed to reward hard power and exploit soft power.
This is not some ivory tower theory. I’ve been successfully helping women advance into the highest levels of business leadership for over two decades. I usually do this through one-on-one leadership development. But it is not enough. I have a front row seat to the advancing descent of un-inspired business leadership and the frustration of aspiring women leaders who were being told that to be successful they must become like men. Although Sheryl Sandberg has made a great commercial success of her “Lean In” advice to women which is that they should just ‘man up,’ I have yet to speak to an audience of women who believe it is realistic or desirable. So what we have is confusion. It seems that many women aspire to power not to change things but to succeed in the system that is giving us the world we already have.
I am concerned that I do not hear often enough the idea that if women ran things, things would be better. There seems to be a wavering confidence in the unique mindset that women bring to setting higher goals, a balanced work-life and accepting the mantle of moral authority.
I believe that we are at a major turning point. The purpose of business can be forever elevated as a means to improve the quality of life of everyone–customers, employees, suppliers and communities. In a sane and sustainable world, profits should be a byproduct of genuine value creation. I believe that women are naturally designed to be the new voice of business leadership. Not one that mimics the shortcomings of hard power but rather the amplifier of Smart Power. Smart Power is the synthesis of the strengths of results-focused hard power and human-focused soft power. So no, I am not advocating for all women leadership teams. The best leadership teams I coach have a healthy balance of strong men and women who respect each other’s values and viewpoints in the pursuit of human-centered innovation…value that matters to people.
I am not an unrealistic dreamer. A great team of women clients and I recently led our first Leadership SPA (Smart Power Academy) for 33 women leaders from major organizations. It was designed to be visionary and career changing as well as practical and realistic. What happened was something far greater than I anticipated. The combined energy of these leaders created individual strategic aspirations and career roadmaps far more powerful than anything I could’ve anticipated.
This same team of women is getting together in a few days to forge a path forward. I don’t exactly know what the future will bring but what I do know is that as a global society we simply cannot keep doing what we have been doing. And I sincerely believe this. To go in a higher direction we need women leaders to bring their vision forward and insist that we hold ourselves to a higher standard than self-interest.
There is no better time than right now.
Putting America’s 16 Trillion Dollar Economy in Global Perspective:
With 4.4% of the world’s population, the U.S. produced 22.3% of world GDP in 2012.
For example, California would tie with Italy as the 9th largest economy in the world, and produces the same economic output with 37% fewer people
Enjoy this Holiday Card from all of us at Mission Fed:
Thanks this week go to Jeff B, Popeh Z, Larry H, Will M, Brad W, Jehangir J and the Mission Fed team.
Pay it Forward and Happy Holidays!
Love,
Neville
“My mission:
“To respectfully understand, passionately inspire, and authentically transform high performance and high fulfillment growth for like-spirited individuals and organizations”
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”— Albert Einstein:
This week:
Your Holiday List: If you are working on the Holiday list, this one should give you some inspiration
Rady Children’s Holiday of Miracles: Serve our Youth in America’s Finest and Kindest City
Banks Supporting their Communities-This is Cool
Wash Me for Cancer:
Honor Our Elders: Here’s to resilience and a youthful state of mind and the inspiration it brings!
Enjoy this Holiday Card from All of Us at Mission Fed
Your Holiday List:
If you are working on the Holiday list, this one should give you some inspiration
“The most incredible thing about miracles is that they happen.”— G.K. Chesterton
Rady Children’s Holiday of Miracles:
Serve our Youth in America’s Finest and Kindest City
In the last week, we were blessed to support the Rady Children’s Holiday of Miracle Campaign for the 5th year in a row.
I will never forget the day we had to take an ambulance from our pediatrician to Children’s Hospital when our child couldn’t breathe.
In a single breath everything changes…
Every year Rady Children’s provides care to 200,000 kids as the go-to-facility for 88% of the kids in San Diego (and many from Orange and Riverside) county, where more than 50% of the families do not have the wherewithal to pay for their care, yet no one is turned away….
Mission Fed does a matching pledge every year, our staff runs the phone banks, and we get on the air to help create awareness of and support for this important cause which we helped re-imagine and rename 5 years ago.
The day we were in doing the live radio-thon, there were 294 kids in the hospital, 28 for cancer or blood disorders, 66 in the medical/surgical unit, 23 in neonatal intensive care, 33 in critical care to mention just a few, and 270 children had visited the ER in the last 24 hours!
We got to hear Athena’s story about her daughter Eve (pictured below), and as a result of the Mission Fed matching offer a KyXy listener named Geneva made a $1,000 call in pledge, along with so many other generous callers.
Through the collective support of our 5th Annual Holiday of Miracles Radiothon we raised $284,000, which brings the grand total to more than $1,384,000 in five years!
These funds go to support the highest and greatest needs of the hospital which include patient care, technology, equipment and research.
Thanks to all of you that do great work to help our kids stay safe and well, and to the CBS Radio team that puts energy and passion into amplifying this cause every year.
Examples of partnership like this validate that we are indeed America’s Finest and Kindest City!
If you would like to make a tax deductible contribution, before the campaign ends this week , please visit www.KyXy.com
I know, not a subject that stirs deep emotion. If you feel anything, it might be irritation every time you have to withdraw your cash and you have to pay that $3 fee when you can’t find your bank’s ATM.
And what about bank advertising? Seen any good bank TV ads lately? Yeah, I know.
But here’s something different from TD Bank. It selected 24 mostly random customers and offered them an average amount of $30,000 each to go out and do something good for their community. Start now and you have 24 hours.
What would you do with the money?
Wash me for Cancer:
(a)WASH ME? or
(b) Do a pretty drawing?
THIS is SCOTT WADE. Check out what he does with the
dirty cars by carefully and artfully removing portions of the dirt.
According to his web site, he lives real close to a dirt road in San Marcos , Texas .
These are the colors that represent the different cancers. All you are asked to do is keep this circulating. Even if it’s to one more person. In memory of anyone you know that has been struck by cancer.
A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle
Please Keep This Candle Going!
Honor Our Elders:
Here’s to resilience a youthful state of mind and the inspiration it brings!
Enjoy this Holiday Card from All of Us at Mission Fed
Thanks this week go to the Mission Fed in Red Crew, the CBS Radio team, the Rady Children’s team, Robin M, Scott D, Larry H, all the youth that keep us young, as well as all our elders that teach us how to live, love, learn and leave a legacy!
As we enter the holiday season with the consumptive madness of Cyber Mondays, Black Fridays, Super Saturdays, obligatory gifts to others, measuring economic impact by how much we spent in the local malls and Amazon walls, here are some alternative gifts for you.
There was no cost to procuring them, no lines to stand in, no calculus of “should I spend more or less” -as if the amount we spend per person on our list determines their value in our system- just the time investment and care energy of curating and then presenting them to you.
If they resonate, pay them forward.
If they don’t, return to sender…
Love,
Neville
Jerry Seinfeld Puts It In Perspective So Well & So Darn Honestly…
Here are those gifts:
Gift #1: A Perspective on Parenting for the Hardest Job Out There
One of the most ‘real’ article on parenting I have read in a long time…
WHAT IF…a simple thank you goes a long way?
RESEARCH SAYS: When bosses say “thank you,” employees work 50% harder. It’s true. Thank you also results in reciprocal generosity, where the thanked person is more likely to help the ‘thanker’ and also stimulates pro-social behavior in general. In other words, saying “thanks” increases the likelihood your employee will not only help you, but also help someone else. Harvard Business Review tells of a national law firm that instilled the routine of Partners earnestly and specifically saying, “Thank you,” to staff and associates and even each other. That one change resulted in a significant drop in associate complaints, and most associates became more productive while reports of burnout all but disappeared.
TRY THIS: Give someone you work with a sincere thank you. Be sure to thank them for something specific, acknowledge their effort or personal sacrifice, and let them know what it meant personally to you.
Gift #4 Restore Your Faith in Humanity
Goodwill towards All in Human-Kind
Thanks this week go to the Daily Good, Steve F, Anne S, Glenda O, Will M, Larry H & Helene G!
“Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.”– King Solomon
As we enter the holiday season with the consumptive madness of Cyber Mondays, Black Fridays, Super Saturdays, obligatory gifts to others, measuring economic impact by how much we spent in the local malls and Amazon walls, here are some alternative gifts for you.
There was no cost to procuring them, no lines to stand in, no calculus of “should I spend more or less” -as if the amount we spend per person on our list determines their value in our system- just the time investment and care energy of curating and then presenting them to you.
If they resonate, pay them forward.
If they don’t, return to sender…
May the gifts you give and get this holiday season, open your heart like this!
Love,
Neville
Jerry Seinfeld Puts It In Perspective So Well & So Darn Honestly…
Here are those gifts:
Gift #1: A Perspective on Parenting for the Hardest Job Out There
One of the most ‘real’ article on parenting I have read in a long time…
WHAT IF…a simple thank you goes a long way?
RESEARCH SAYS: When bosses say “thank you,” employees work 50% harder. It’s true. Thank you also results in reciprocal generosity, where the thanked person is more likely to help the ‘thanker’ and also stimulates pro-social behavior in general. In other words, saying “thanks” increases the likelihood your employee will not only help you, but also help someone else. Harvard Business Review tells of a national law firm that instilled the routine of Partners earnestly and specifically saying, “Thank you,” to staff and associates and even each other. That one change resulted in a significant drop in associate complaints, and most associates became more productive while reports of burnout all but disappeared.
TRY THIS: Give someone you work with a sincere thank you. Be sure to thank them for something specific, acknowledge their effort or personal sacrifice, and let them know what it meant personally to you.
Gift #4 Restore Your Faith in Humanity
Goodwill towards All in Human-Kind
Thanks this week go to the Daily Good, Steve F, Anne S, Glenda O, Will M, Larry H & Helene G!
“Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.”– King Solomon
This week, I got a handwritten note from Dr. Edward DeRoche, at the University of San Diego’s School of Education, where he previously served as dean in 1979 and returned to the faculty as professor and director of the Center for Character Development Center in 1998. We met some years ago through our shared passion for cultivating character not just competence in education…
Ed wrote, “I wanted to sent you this note of thanks during Thanksgiving Week for “Soul Food Friday”. It is a valuable, informative resource that I have shared with my students, colleagues, family and friends. For this I thank you.”
Here Ed is esteeming me, but I should be esteeming HIM for modeling character and investing his personal time and energy in a small gesture that is a hallmark of his way of being.
Thanks for showing us how it is done Ed!
A Simple Act of Kindness Creates An Endless Ripple:
This will touch your heart…
Why Positive Emotions Fade and How to Make Them Last:
What if you put your sincere thanks into this Thanksgiving? It’s not as easy as it sounds. By now we should all know that gratitude is a major driver of personal happiness and feelings of well-being. But the way our brains are designed tends to minimize the benefits of thankfulness. That’s because we constantly turn our positive emotions into concepts. And concepts do not make us feel happy.
Let me explain…
When we first experience positive emotions our brain stimulates the production of smile–and–be happy chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. However, novelty is a huge driver of positive stimulation so as soon as we are used to something we were initially grateful for we quit feeling the emotion of gratitude. Without emotion-stimulating neurotransmitters our feelings of gratitude decay into concepts. We know we should feel happy or should feel love but we just don’t really feel those feelings. For instance if I ask someone I’m advising “What are you most grateful for?” Their automatic response is almost always “my family.” But when I ask them if seeing their family on a daily basis puts them in a positive mood I get a questioning look. Of course, families who have been separated for long periods of time, for instance military families, often experience elevated positive emotions when they’re reunited. But when life normalizes and we return to our routines those things we take for granted no longer give us a happy high. That’s because unmet needs are powerfully motivating and very emotional. As soon as those needs are consistently satisfied our motivations and emotions tend to wither. Fortunately for us, positive psychologists have done a great deal of research about how we can rekindle the emotion of gratitude so that we can feel our feelings rather than just think about them.
Here’s an experiment I’d like you to try:
This Thanksgiving ask yourself… who is one person that has really enriched your life.
Next take a few minutes and write down the specific ways you have benefited from the love, kindness, actions or knowledge this person has provided.
Write down the positive impact and results you have received that you would not have gained without this person’s effort.
Write down what your life would be missing without this person in your life.
Now, listen to some calm instrumental music for about three minutes, put a smile on your face and silently (in your own mind) thank this individual. This focused reflection should ignite deep feelings of gratitude.
Finally, tell the individual how thankful you are for the love and support they have shown you. Tell them some things that you were specifically grateful for and the impact it had on your life. You can do this in person or by phone. Actually, leaving a voice message is sometimes best because it will cause your loved one to really listen to your message of gratitude.
Research on gratitude confirms that people who express gratefulness create more internal feelings of well-being than people receiving the acknowledgment. In short, if you want to feel happy, share your gratitude for others with them in vivid detail.
This has become an annual ritual for me and it has made the holiday much more significant than a few awesome football games, great food and time to relax.
It’s pretty simple… Thanksgiving should be the happiest day of the year… and it can be if we make it so.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Will
A Different Perspective on Thanks Giving:
Milton Friedman at Plymouth Rock: When the Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock in 1620, they tried what they called “farming in common.” As a community, they farmed the land together and shared the food equally. This might sound good in theory, but it was a complete failure. Those people who worked hard resented those who didn’t. There was a lot of anger over this, and after three winters of under-production, more than half the original 101 pilgrims were dead, mostly as a result of malnutrition.
After three years of near-starvation and the loss of half the colony, a new experiment was tried.
The governor of the colony, William Bradford, had come to suspect that the problem was the absence of private property. In his now-famous passage on property rights in Of Plymouth Plantation(see page 120), Bradford wrote of how he “… assigned to every family a parcel of land, for (their) present use. This had very good success, for it made all hands very industrious, and much more corn was planted than otherwise would have been by any means.”
Bradford wrote that those who believed in communal property were deluding themselves into thinking they were “wiser than God.” (Doesn’t that sound like Hayek’s concept of the “fatal conceit?”) He drew up a map and gave each family a plot of land to call its own. Production increased by a factor of five the first year. As Bradford wrote, “Each family, attempting to better its standing in the community, increased the hours worked on each plot.”
How perfect that the very foundation of America was a free market economy! And this was, amazingly, 150 years before Adam Smith wrote about how markets work.
We publish the following pretty much every year for Thanksgiving. We got it from somewhere long forgotten, and over the years we’ve added bits and pieces:
“How’s your health? Not so good? Give thanks you’ve lived this long. Are you hurting? Millions are hurting more. Visit a veterans’ hospital or a hospital for children to appreciate what you have. When you woke up this morning, were you able to hear the birds sing, use your voice, walk to the breakfast table, read the paper? There are a lot of people today who are deaf, blind, paralyzed, or unable to speak.
How are your finances? Not good? Most people on this planet have no welfare. No food stamps. No pensions. No health insurance or Social Security. In fact, one third of the people in the world go to bed hungry every night.
Are you lonely? The way to have a friend is to be a friend. If nobody calls, call someone. Get out and do something nice for someone. Are you unhappy? Go out of your way to smile at people you bump into during the day. Be kind to everyone, for everyone you meet might be fighting a hard, lonely battle of some kind. Are you unhappy with our government? Don’t despair. Our system has been saved over and over again by people who worried about our nation. And worry not. You can still worship at the place of your choice, cast a ballot in secret, and criticize your government. Hundreds of millions of people live where this is not the case, where criticizing the government leads to a midnight knock on the door. Are you worried about over-regulation? Be thankful that with hard work and persistence, it’s still possible to get ahead in America. And let us also be thankful for our troublemakers and agitators, people like Patrick Henry, Tom Paine, John Brown, Susan B. Anthony, and Martin Luther King. Without them, we’d be a lesser country.
We should be thankful for the food before us and we remember those who go without food. We should be thankful for the friends we have and remember those who are friendless. We should be thankful for our health and remember those with poor health. We should be thankful for our families, imperfect though they might be, and remember those without families.
Let us be thankful for what we have, and not be unhappy with what we don’t have. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Focus on the Green Lights in Life and Be Creative about the Red lights
Humor:
Don’t Mess with Seniors
Creativity:
Join the Counter Culture Right Now:
The EPIC Photo Shoot
MOMENTS in History
Giving Thanks and Being Grateful
It is well documented that it is hard to be hateful and grateful at the same time.
I hope as you read this, you can find something to be grateful for- however trite or profound- and then maintain an Attitude of Gratitude all year long!
Attitudes are contagious. Is mine worth catching?
Happiness is Contagious:
6 Reasons to Smile Right Now
Jennifer Margulis
So much more than a pair of upturned lips, the smile is the most scientifically studied human facial expression. In her new book, Lip Service, Yale psychology professor Marianne LaFrance, PhD, draws on the latest research—in fields from biology to anthropology to computer science—in an effort to shed some light on the happy face. Here, six facts that may make you, well, you know.
People with big grins live longer. In a study published last year, researchers pored over an old issue of the Baseball Register, analyzing photos of 230 players. They found that on average, the guys with bright, bigmouthed beams lived 4.9 years longer than the players with partial smiles, and 7 years longer than the players who showed no grin at all. We can’t credit wide smiles for long life spans, of course, but smiles reveal positive feelings, and positive feelings are linked to well-being.
Smiles exert subliminal powers. When study subjects are shown an image of a smiling face for just four milliseconds—a flash so quick, the viewers don’t consciously register the image—they experience a mini emotional high. Compared with control groups, the smile-viewers perceive the world in a better light: To them, boring material is more interesting, neutral images look more positive, even bland drinks seem tastier.
There are three degrees of happiness… An article in the British Medical Journal reported that it is indeed possible to spread the love: Within social networks, when one person is happy, the feeling migrates to two people beyond her. So if you smile, a friend of a friend is more likely to smile, too
. …and two types of smiles. Genuine smiles and fake smiles are governed by two separate neural pathways. We know this is true because people with damage to a certain part of the brain can still break into a spontaneous grin even though they’re unable to smile at will. Scientists speculate that our ancestors evolved the neural circuitry to force smiles because it was evolutionarily advantageous to mask their fear and fury.
To spot a faker, check the eyes. When someone smiles out of genuine delight, a facial muscle called the orbicularis oculi involuntarily contracts, crinkling the skin around the eyes. Most of us are incapable of deliberately moving this muscle, which means that when a person fakes a smile, her orbicularis oculi likely won’t budge.
Smiles have accents. When reading facial expressions, different cultures home in on different parts of the face. In the United States, we focus on mouths; the Japanese, by contrast, search for feeling in the eyes. These emoticons say it all:
How Happiness Is Contagious
By Tim Jarvis
“Six degrees of separation” isn’t just a good plot line. Science shows the theory has dramatic implications for spreading cheer from one person to the next.
The theory that everyone on the planet is only a half dozen people away from knowing everyone else was popularized by John Guare’s 1993 movie Six Degrees of Separation. Now research by a pair of social scientists might have Hollywood thinking of a sequel: Three Degrees of Connection.
Using statistical analyses of thousands of subjects, a study in The British Medical Journal has shown that happiness actually spreads from person to person, up to three connections away. “So if your friend’s friend’s friend becomes happier, it ripples through the network and affects you, even if you don’t know that person,” says author Nicholas Christakis, MD, a medical sociology professor at Harvard Medical School. Proximity plays a part: A happy sibling who is a mile away can increase your probability of happiness by up to 14 percent; a nearby friend, by 25 percent; and a next-door neighbor, by 34 percent. Interestingly, the effect also applies to smoking and obesity, Christakis has shown. “If people around you gain weight, it changes your expectations about what an acceptable body size is,” he explains. “Our work strongly suggests that when one person quits smoking, loses weight, or becomes happy, others around her follow suit. I am reluctant to suggest you pick your friends solely on this basis, but one could say that helping a friend do better is a roundabout way of helping yourself.”
Focus on the Green Lights in Life and Be Creative about the Red lights:
While we often miss them due to attentional blindness, it is useful to focus on the Green Lights in our life.
If we are in a hurry, we sure remember all the red lights we hit, but blitz through the green lights with nary a thought…
Here are some smart traffic lights that make something out of red, while you have to do your own part to make something out of green…
We all hate waiting. That is why many pedestrians don’t have the patience to wait at the traffic light, preferring to cross whenever they deem fit. To increase pedestrian safety, an idea was born: What if we make the red pedestrian traffic light so entertaining, people would be happy waiting? Here is what happened with that idea.
Don’t Mess with Seniors:
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my penis, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said,
‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.
The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’
The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes?’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’
‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter… Don’t Mess With Seniors!
YOU KNOW YOU’RE LAUGHING!
Join the Counter Culture Right Now:
My buddy Jack Abbott is launching a new product on Kickstarter, and he has asked me for our help. He’s working on a project to help change the way we feed ourselves sustainably on this planet, and an easy first step is CounterCrop, which helps anyone grow great fresh veggies on their kitchen counter.
Here is a link to a short, fun video that explains how it works. CounterCrop launches on Kickstarter on December 4th, and it will be heavily discounted for the first contributors. You can get an email alert to remind you signing up here: www.CounterCrop.com.
Help me help Jack, help the planet & launch CounterCrop by sharing this with your networks, and logging onto Kickstarter when you get the email notice to make your contribution, or buy one for yourself. Any and all contributions will make a big difference. Here’s to counter culture and sustainable food for all!
December 3rd 2014 Featuring Karen Cator of Digital Promise
Purpose: Start with WHY
Your Golden Circle Starts with your PURPOSE
Pictures to Make You Grin
Levity is the Soul of Wit
Mission Fed Invests One Million Dollars
in Financial Education with JA Finance Park
Another View of Veterans Day The following excerpt is from Kurt Vonnegut’s novel, Breakfast of Champions:
I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, and when Dwayne Hoover was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.
Armistice Day has become Veterans’ Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans’ Day is not.
So I will throw Veterans’ Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don’t want to throw away any sacred things.
What else is sacred? Oh, Romeo and Juliet, for instance. And all music is.
I sat for a while staring at the computer screen. I couldn’t write. Not even a sentence. It had been a week since I started to write a new book but I had nothing. Each December I write a new book and it usually flows well, but not this time. This time I was filled with fear.
Fear that I would disappoint the people who enjoyed my other books. Fear that I couldn’t live up to the success of The Energy Bus. Fear that people would say my best writing was behind me. Fear that I would write a piece of junk.
I knew I had to conquer this fear and in that moment I was filled with thoughts that would not only help me overcome my fears but also become a significant lesson in the book I was writing, The Carpenter.
I realized the antidote to fear is love. So instead of the fear of failing I decided to focus on my love of writing, my love for the reader, and my desire to make a difference. From that moment on the book flowed, I wrote it in 2 1/2 weeks and discovered that if you focus on love, you will cast out fear.
Today I want to encourage you to do the same and build your life, work, business, school, project and team with love instead of fear. Remind yourself that if you aren’t building it with love it won’t become all that it can be. Only through love will you create something special, magnificent and compelling. Only through love will you build a masterpiece.
So if you are trying to build a business focus on the love you have of building it rather than the fear of losing it. If you work at a school focus on loving your students instead of fearing all the new testing standards. If you are a young athlete, dancer, musician or artist, focus on your love of playing and performing instead of your fear of failing. Worrying about the outcome and what people think will steal your joy and sabotage your success but loving and appreciating the moment will energize you and enhance your performance.
And if you are a coach or manager building a team, remember that that whatever you try to build with fear will eventually crumble. But that which is built with love will endure. If you build your team with love they will become more and do more than you ever thought possible. Most of all, as you build with love, know that you will face many challenges and negative forces that can shift your focus back to fear if you let it. When this happens decide to LOVE ALL OF IT. When you love all of it you will fear none of it.
Love the struggle because it makes you appreciate your accomplishments.
Love challenges because they make you stronger.
Love competition because it makes you better
Love negative people because they make you more positive.
Love those who have hurt you because they teach you forgiveness.
Love fear because it makes you courageous.
The secret to life and the greatest success strategy of all is to love all of it and fear none of it.
Learning: Spotlight on Education
December 3rd 2014 Featuring Karen Cator of Digital Promise
If you are local the Spotlight on Education series is definitely worth your time!
Thanks this week go to Larry H, Ginger T, the teams at Mission Fed, The Education Synergy Alliance, USD’s ELDA, UCSD’s EDS, & Real World Scholars doing Wicked Good Work!
Happy Soul Food Friday! 