Your Soul Food for Friday May 19, 2023: To Your Wellbeing

Happy Soul Food Friday!

This week:

  • Parrots on Video Chat?
  • Micro-Breaks for Focus and Energy
  • Stand Up!
  • Breathe…
  • Selfless Service
  • Stop Being Mean to Yourself

And We Call Them Bird Brains…

Parrots learn to call their feathered friends on video chat:

These parrots were taught to ring a bell whenever they want to caw their fellow bird friends! See them in action.

Parrots learn to call their feathered friends on video chat | CNN


Stressed and unhappy about work? Micro-breaks can help you regain focus and energy.
In response to endless e-mail, back-to-back Zoom calls and 24/7 hustle culture, we need to redefine how we work.

Feeling stress, burnout at work? Give yourself a micro-break (

Get Up, Stand Up!

Should I worry about how long I spend sitting down?
A morning run? Sitting on a gym ball? Standing up regularly? We examine the most effective ways to combat the health issues caused by a sedentary lifestyle

Should I worry about how long I spend sitting down? | Health & wellbeing | The Guardian


The Breathing Technique That Could Reduce Your Risk Of Alzheimer’s
20 minutes, twice a day could make all the difference

The Breathing Technique That Could Reduce Your Risk Of Alzheimer’s | HuffPost UK Life (

US man leaves job interview, rescues baby in runaway stroller, then lands job!
Ron Nessman was leaving a job interview at a California Applebee’s when he spotted a baby stroller hurtling towards a busy road

US man leaves job interview, rescues baby in runaway stroller, then lands job | US news | The Guardian

Stop Being So Mean to Yourself: 5 Amare Leadership Tips for Less Suffering and More Happiness with Moshe E:

How Being Too Nice and So Mean Go Together

Several months ago, I wrote this article about how to stop being too nice at work. Read over 30,000 times on Inc. alone, the topic resonated with a lot of leaders.

Interestingly, what I often see in executives I coach that are “too nice” is that they are actually being very mean… to themselves. Being mean to yourself manifests on the inside as being hyper-critical, blocking joy, and feeling that you’re never enough.

On the outside it shows up as being too soft and never taking a firm stand; or the opposite, being arrogant and heartless. Either way, being mean to yourself causes suffering and makes you a less effective leader. It denies your full power. If you are mean to yourself, it may be so deep-seated and familiar that you don’t even see the meanness – you think it’s just how you are.

For you, the first steps are awareness and acceptance. If you do recognize that you are sometimes mean to yourself, your first step is to choose whether to continue or to stop it. If you are not mean to yourself, beautiful. Be a role model for other leaders. Are you mean to yourself? If yes, because…? If no, because…? What people or situations most trigger it?
5 Amare Steps to Stop Being So Mean to Yourself:

Do an honest self-assessment. Estimate how many of your daily thoughts are self-critical. Now consider what proportion of those are simply mean and absent of any present-day validity, and which have a useful message for you.

Get clear on suffering and happiness. Ask yourself if you think suffering is a noble show of strength, and if joy diminishes that. Next explore where those beliefs come from. Then ask yourself what might happen if you said no to suffering and yes to happiness.

Explore the payoffs. To let go of meanness to yourself, list three things that sustain it in you. It could be playing it safe, aligning with someone else’s beliefs, avoiding conflict, fear of failure, etc. Just note your payoffs and consider healthier benefits.

Work with your “meanness partner.” Tune in to when you are being mean to yourself – notice the thoughts and sensations, and what you say and do. When it happens, comment on it – like “Hey, here we go, choosing to suffer!” Then smile and even have fun with it. Give your meanness partner a name (even if this playfulness sounds bizarre, try it. It will loosen things up inside you!).

Cut yourself some slack. You may be breaking a habit of a lifetime. Give it time. Congratulate yourself on tiny steps forward. And don’t be mean to yourself for having been mean to yourself! While you’re at it, try some of these 20 ways to treat yourself better.

Being overly nice to others and mean to oneself is unfortunately a common combination that our culture oddly rewards. The two behaviors feed on each other; both are counterproductive. Imagine how amazing your life and work could be by replacing self-criticism and suffering with self-love and happiness. That’s how to get from being mean to yourself to being kind to yourself. While this is not easy work for anyone, it is the path of Amare love-powered leaders.
Give it a go!

Thanks this week go to Chris B and Moshe E.



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“The moment I stop running from the demons in my head,
and instead, I choose to love them.
When saying yes to life, both shadow and light,
my suffering is done, and I come alive.”

—Fia, from the song Shedding Skins

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