The most important story is the story you tell yourself, about yourself!
Warning- Adult Content
This Poem was shared with me recently-
This Be the Verse by Philip Larkin:
While I appreciated the sentiment, I also felt a compelling urge to offer up a counter-narrative, and composed this alternative rejoinder in about 10 minutes:
This Be The OTHER Verse
(Philip Larkin In Reverse)
We all have a mum and dad.
You would not be here if they weren’t.
Generations survived when others died.
Paranoid, hoarders, but yes they thrived.
With their history comes some baggage.
It’s inevitable, like rotten cabbage.
That over time will surely decay.
But it’s what we make of it on the way.
Take the good. Improve the bad.
Pass it forward or pass it back.
Evolution means we change.
For the better- not victims of the deranged.
We all have a story, a script, and a state.
Change your story or own your fate.
Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones
Warrior mind in ancient bones.
Women passes on life to all.
Each one special, large or small.
Make every moment count and matter.
For better pancakes use better batter!
Yes some will try to “fuck you up”.
Choose your mindset, say enough!
Then Philip Larkin will eat his words.
And cast his poem to the birds.
What is the story you tell yourself about yourself?
Your story is what happened- objectively
Your script is how you choose to interpret what happened to you- subjectively
Your state is what you are doing in this moment, to move you closer to your purpose or alternatively away from it
Manage your state in this moment, and if you don’t like the script that was written for you, rewrite it!
“Don’t Believe Everything You Think!”
Too much pleasure can lead to addiction. How to break the cycle and find balance:
Radical honesty promotes intimacy
Be it sugar, social media or sex, the response in our brain is the same: It produces the “feel-good” neurochemical called dopamine, which brings on feelings of pleasure and motivation. “It may be even more important for motivation than for actual pleasure,” says Dr. Anna Lembke, a Stanford Medical School psychiatrist, researcher and author of the new book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.
Have you ever been in a position where you had to choose between someone you care about and a value that you hold dear? Maybe you had to decide whether to report a friend who was cheating on an exam, or a co-worker who was stealing from the tip jar. This week, we tell the story of a Detroit police officer who found himself in this sort of dilemma, forced to choose between people he loved and the oath he swore to serve his community. What happens in our minds when we have to decide what is right and what is wrong?
Mental Health Awareness Month is just a few days away. Let’s do our part to help ourselves and one another
Witticisms
Mission Fed ArtWalk 2022
The Earth’s Prayer for Earth Day- A 21st Century Complement to the Lord’s Prayer (written on a trip to Europe 13 years ago in 2009)
Rather than even attempt to outdo perfection, given a world view that extends beyond Christianity, coupled with current Eco-Consciousness, could one take the essence of the Lord’s Prayer and extend its reach and impact to a larger audience?
Our Mother, who is here on Earth,
Timeless may you reign and may we never take your compassion for granted.
The time is now, your spirit be served, with our full intention and energy to create a Planet Earth as abundant and blessed as Heaven.
Give each person today, their daily grain so no one goes hungry, and affirm our inherent goodness to care for one another,
as we give thanks for those who today in their actions put the collective good ahead of personal self-interest and remind us to do the same.
And inspire us in all things to maximize our potential for the greatest good as we preserve and protect the legacy we leave for future generations.
For this is our planet, with problems and possibilities, to do with what we can in the time we have got.
Now is forever. Aum, Peace, Amen
Champion of the Earth!
Sir David Attenborough has been named a Champion of the Earth by the UN’s Environment Programme
The prestigious award recognises the 95-year-old’s commitment to telling stories about the natural world and climate change.
Accepting the award, Sir David said the world must take action now to protect nature and the planet.
“The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it.”
Mental Health Awareness Month is just a few days away. Let’s do our part to help ourselves and one another
First apologies to all the people experiencing mental health challenges at work.
A global study by Qualtrics found 42% of people have experienced a decline in mental health.
67% of people are experiencing increases in stress while 57% have increased anxiety, and 54% are emotionally exhausted.
53% of people are sad, 50% are irritable, 28% are having trouble concentrating, 20% are taking longer to finish tasks, 15% are having trouble thinking and 12% are challenged to juggle their responsibilities.
Other data suggests that 67% or 7 out of 10 people’s feel that no one checked up on their mental health in the workplace. This is a travesty and unconscionable…
Using the indigenous wisdom traditions of Polynesia and the Ho’oponopono framework, please accept my apologies. As a system we have failed you!
We are very Sorry
We Love & Value You
Please Forgive Us
Thank You!
Authentically Navigating Mental Health in the Workplace is powerful and very relevant work arguably a meta-competency for 21st century leadership and culture and portends the future of HR Leadership!
In a post pandemic environment, Pandora’s Box is opened and there is no stuffing everything back in. Sunlight is the greatest disinfectant.
This might mark the beginning of the demise of a command and control model of running organizations, with the power imbalances and systemic disenfranchisement that goes along with it.
Hell bloodletting was a best practice for over 1,000 years and we got rid of that. How is this any different? We are sucking the lifeblood out of people just using bigger leeches!
and communication is the most powerful socio-emotional learning tool, then it is time for a new model that girths all the work we do in stakeholder-centric systems to meet the moment, as well as to counter the great resignation/great migration with the great rejuvenation.
Note: I use stakeholder not employee because all the people in the ecosystem (not ego-system) matter!
No more “othering”…
This is a systems thinking problem not an individual human capital deficiency. People are disengaged and unwell not because they are bad or sick people, but because we have built maladaptive systems.
Think of all the lost potential in every organization ☹
“At the heart of a learning organization is a shift of mind – from seeing ourselves as separate
from the world to connected to the world, from seeing problems as caused by someone or
something ‘out there’ to seeing how our own actions create the problems we experience. A
learning organization is a place where people are continually discovering how they create their
reality. And how they can change it.” — Dr. Peter Senge
Renormalizing “its ok to not be ok” and destigmatizing stigma and shame around mental health is a cultural and paradigm shift in dire need of an intervention.
The piercing pain of the first arrow is hard enough. We don’t need the second arrow.
The parable of the second arrow is a well-known Buddhist story about dealing with suffering more skillfully.
It is said the Buddha once asked a student,
‘If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?’
He then went on to explain, ‘In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.’
Let’s equip each other not to create self-inflicting wounds with that darned second arrow!
The Old model of mental health DSM-5 with all its controversies typically focuses on symptomology and severity
The New model must both look at symptoms (low to high) and languishing v. flourishing on another axis
One can have symptoms of “dis-ease” and still be flourishing.
Most of us have symptoms as the data indicates…
The old model of stress was “can I cope”? The new model recognizes that when demands exceeds resources we experience stress
Now, more than ever, we need to resource our individuals, teams, and organizations better to meet the deep stack of demands that are thrust upon us.
Note: If your organization is looking to up level your resources and apply real world experience to meet the demands of navigating mental health in the workplace, reach out to:
They expanded my understanding and were powerful positive forces of good for me!
Kevin Hines Survived a Jump Off The Golden Gate Bridge- Now, He Is Helping Others Avoid Suicide:
This suicidal person “needs to hear what I needed to hear. That we care about you, your life does matter, and that all we want is for you to stay,” he says. “If someone had looked at me on that bridge or on that bus and said that to me, I would have begged for help.”
Maybe we can all be “that one person” to borrow from the Kevin Hines story, and all be “psychological safety spreaders” at work and in our community.
“No More Suffering in Silence & Running Away in Shame”!
Love,
Neville
On a Far Lighter Note: Witticisms
These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
What’s your favorite?
“He had delusions of adequacy ” -Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. – Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. – Paul Keating
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln
“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” — Jack E. Leonard
“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” — Thomas Brackett Reed
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” — James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
For 38 years, Mission Fed ArtWalk has celebrated both visual and performing arts in San Diego. We believe art has the power to connect communities, cultivate new artistic talent and create a better quality of life for all through cultural enrichment.
On Saturday, April 30 (11am – 6pm) and Sunday, May 1 (10am – 5pm), artwork will fill the Little Italy neighborhood. Attendees come to view and purchase artwork, enjoy music and dance performances, and participate in interactive art experiences.
Thanks this week go to Deborah and Haley U, Jamie J, Dan L, and the Mission Fed ArtWalk Team for your contributions!
Please pay it forward and be a Champion of the Earth…
The Most Important Leadership Skill According to Research:
If you are committed to positive relationships and a compelling organizational culture that drives results, here is the leadership competency that will have a huge bearing on the present and future world of work with constructive effects on:
Innovation
Engagement
Retention
Inclusivity
Work-Life
The mental health stats cited here from September of ’21 have arguably only got worse in our VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) world.
New conditions call for new responses, in this case maybe just turning up the volume on this important leadership competency.
Harvard Research Finds Serious Red Flag To Watch Out For At Work If you have a worker that exhibits this trait, you’ll probably agree with the Harvard team’s conclusions
Changing your diet could add up to 13 years to your life, study says Switching from a typical Westernized diet of red meat and processed foods can add up to 13 years to your life if you start at age 20, but even people in their 60s can add years.
Press 3 for a pep talk from kindergartners. A new hotline gives you options for joy What started as an art project at a California elementary school has gone viral. The free hotline offers wise advice and encouraging messages from kids to anyone who calls.
Many of us have read the story about 3 people doing what looks like the same job, but when asked what they are doing:
One says they are laying bricks
The second says he is building a wall
And the third says he is creating a masterpiece!
Same identical work, but experienced so differently.
How can this be?
This story was made popular in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
The story is actually not by Stephen Covey, but because he sold over 15 million copies of the book it is often attributed to him.
Proper attribution notwithstanding, it does draw attention to our relationship to our world of work and invites us to explore if we experience what we do; simply as a job, part of a career, or a purposeful calling?
When we are able to find meaning and purpose in our work, the mundane can become profound and we can turn the usual into extraordinary, often leaving a legacy that lives on well past our lifetime.
Many today are revisiting their relationship to work.
Perhaps we can learn from history…
The Basilica de la Sagrada Familia, designed by the world famous architect Antoni Gaudi is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and described as, “the most extraordinary personal interpretation of Gothic architecture since the Middle Ages.”
Construction on the Basilica began on March 19, 1882 which is almost exactly 140 years ago.
Less than 25% of the Basilica was finished during Gaudi’s lifetime, and they are still working on it- though it was scheduled to be completed this year but was delayed due to the pandemic.
I am sure those working on it over the century, also viewed themselves as brick layers, wall builders and masterpiece producers- and they were all right.
It is after all all a matter of your frame of reference and your perspective.
What is often missing in the story, is that everyone focuses on the bricks, but people forget the mortar, and the mortar is just as important as the bricks!
The mortar is the social capital or glue that binds us together, when we know we are working together for a common purpose, when we know others have got our backs, when trust and transparency and even vulnerability become critical ingredients in the mix. As Peter Drucker famously reminds us, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast”.
In a time when our relationship to our work is being seriously revisited, let’s take the time to both find meaning and purpose in our work, as well as, build our bench strength, grow our franchise value, and make sure we are playing together not playing each other by strengthening the glue that binds us.
Turns out the Great Resignation may be followed by the Great Regret as many employees that jumped ship, quickly realized that “the grass isn’t greener on the other side”, the grass is greener where you water it!
So today, let’s all attend to our purpose, invest in our social capital and let’s keep serving our stakeholders with care and consideration.
Here is to the Great Rejuvenation…
Live, Love, Learn, Laugh & Leave a Legacy!
Love All,
Neville
Enlightened Self Interest-
How to Handle Stress Situations Better Than Will Smith Use the S.O.S. method when triggered for better outcomes.
Etiquette expert says we’ve overlooked Lady Gaga’s great kindness toward Liza Minnelli While Will Smith’s shocking slap of Chris Rock during the Oscars broadcast last Sunday has been big news, one etiquette expert says far too many people missed a beautiful gesture shown on stage that same night by Lady Gaga toward a visibly flustered Liza Minnelli.
When a psychologist who studies well-being ends up with a brain tumor, what happens when she puts her own research into practice? Christina Costa goes beyond the “fight” narrative of cancer — or any formidable personal journey — to highlight the brain benefits of an empowering alternative to fostering resilience in the face of unexpected challenges: gratitude.
The deceptively simple plan to replenish California’s groundwater The state pumps too much groundwater, especially during droughts. Now, it’s learning to refill the overdrawn bucket. “It’s the simplest math in the world,” says one scientist.
My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness and I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close enough.”
Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I’m a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!
Retirement to do list: Wake up. -I Nailed it!
People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
I don’t have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.
Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.
I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.
One minute you’re young and fun. Next, you’re turning down the car stereo to see better.
I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.
Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Some people you’re glad to see coming; some people you’re glad to see going.
Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what’s going on.
If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. … I forgot where I was going with this.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be older… This is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter either.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So, remember… don’t sing!
I see people my age mountain climbing. I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story anyway.
Thanks this week go to Alan D, Jack A and TedX SD, Marlaine C and Parenting 2.0, Larry H, and Rejuvenators Everywhere!
Before we speak let your words pass through these 5 gates
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary? Is it KIND?
Jail Break Leadership:
Here is a recent podcast of me with my friend and colleague Jeff Blanton a pioneer and thought leader in the Conscious Capitalism space. Unlike the rest of us, when Jeff’s deep self-reflection recognized a “smoldering discontent” he decided to do something about it, changing his life and changing the world! If you are doing purpose work or need to operational it in your world of work, talk to Jeff!
In today’s globally interconnected world, a company must create value for and be valued by its full range of stakeholders in order to deliver long-term value for its shareholders.
Watch as the crowd reacts when a blind basketball player makes a free throw High school junior Jules Hoogland wowed the crowd at a home game this week.
WATCH: Paraplegic Golfer Sinks Hole-In-One For the Ages at Torrey Pines Most golf fans would say Tiger Woods’ playoff-clinching putt on the 72nd hole of the 2008 U.S. Open is the greatest shot of all time at Torrey Pines Golf Course. That’s because they haven’t seen this one-armed ace from Abdul Nevarez.
Happy Soul Food Friday! 