Remembering Living Saints, Solving the Mysteries of Aging, Meeting the World’s Oldest Athletes & a Tribute to Mom’s Everywhere!

This week:

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Remembering Jean Vanier, The ‘Living Saint’:
Remember a philosopher and humanitarian who dedicated his life to helping those less fortunate.
Jean Vanier passed away in Paris on Tuesday at the age of 90.
https://www.npr.org/2019/05/09/721828948/remembering-jean-vanier-the-living-saint

The Science of Aging- Solving the Mysteries of Optimal Aging for the Body and Mind:
Jeanne Calment, a Frenchwoman born in 1875, stayed physically active and mentally alert until passing away at almost 123 years of age. She outlived her daughter and her grandson and has been recognized as the longest-living human. She cycled regularly until she sustained a leg fracture at age 100; smoked a daily cigarette until 117; and enjoyed “considerable” quantities of chocolate until her death.
https://inside.salk.edu/spring-2019/the-science-of-aging/?utm_source=cc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=190510_IS_Spring2019&content=button

Age is No Barrier: Meet the World’s Oldest Top Athletes:
Meet 5 Pensioners Aged up to 108, Who Thrive on Extreme Exercise
https://www.theguardian.com/global/2019/apr/07/age-is-no-barrier-meet-the-oldest-top-athletes?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper for Mother’s Day:
Happy Mother’s Day to all who have mothered and who are mothering. May you stay the course. May you know that what you are doing is what the world needs more of. May you never doubt the importance of what you do. And may you enjoy it along the way. Any time the job gets hard, just remember this: mothering is the most important job in the entire world. It’s not easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things we’ll ever do…

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“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.”  — Barbara Kingsolver

I’VE BEEN THINKING…

I love Mother’s Day because I just love, love, love being a mother.

It’s such an honor to bring a child into this world. It’s such a humbling experience to try to get it “right” and do your best. It’s humbling because you never know if what you’re doing is what your child actually wants or needs. That’s especially the case when you have more than one child because you quickly learn that each of them is different. There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to mothering.

Over the years, I’ve learned that you have to feel your way into mothering, a.k.a. the most important job in the world. It’s a job that is unrelenting, but that gives back over and over again.

My favorite Mother’s Day gift is the gift of my children’s presence. They are, without a doubt, my favorite people in the world! I love being in their company. I love laughing with them, playing with them and observing them. I also love listening to their exaggerated stories about all the crazy things they remember me doing when they were young (or even last week!).

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Mother’s Day is also an emotional time for me, though, because I miss my own mother. I think it’s hard to fully enjoy Mother’s Day when your mother has passed because, the truth is, I miss her each and every day of the year. There is so much I’d love to discuss with her at this moment in my life. I still need her advice, her counsel, her wisdom and her judgment. I just need her.

When I see other women with their mothers, I feel a tug at my heart. When I see other kids with their grandmothers, I wonder if they know how blessed they are to be in their company. I wonder whether they are doing all they can to soak up the wisdom from their lessons and their stories.

I’ve written a lot about my mother over the years. I even did an ESPN film called “Brave in the Attempt” about her mission to change the world for those with special needs. But at this time in my life, I find myself wondering how deeply I truly knew my mother. I mean, how well did I really know her inner-most thoughts and feelings? Did I really understand her struggles, her pain, her anguish, and her joy?

I find myself wondering how she really felt about so many of life’s biggest moments. Now that my oldest daughter is engaged, I think about what was going through my own mother’s heart and mind when I stood on the brink of my own marriage. Did she feel what I’m feeling now?

I also wonder how she got through the days when all her children left home. Did she feel lonely? Did we hurt her by moving away? I wonder how she truly felt about getting old. I know she didn’t like it, but how did she manage her fears? I wonder how she managed her loneliness, grief and loss?

I once tried to ask my mother a few of these questions and she said she didn’t know what I was talking about. She came from a tough family and an even tougher generation. It was an era when there was no talk of self-care or self-love. There was no talk of feelings or emotions.

If my mother were here today, I guess the most important thing I’d like to tell her is the same thing I told her in the hospital as she took her final breaths:

“Mummy, you did such a good job as a mother and I’m so honored to be your daughter. I’m so sorry for you that you were never nurtured, hugged or even loved in a deeply personal and intimate way. That must have been so hard for you. It must have been tiring, pretending to be so tough and so strong.”

If my mother were here today, I would hold her. She would hate it, but I wouldn’t let her push me away because, as a mother myself, I know that everyone responds to love, nurture and safety.

I know that if she were here today, she would eventually soften into my embrace. Deep in my heart, I know she would love it. At the end of the day, I believe that the greatest gift we can give someone we love is to see them, hold them, nurture them, and know them for who they really are.

So on this Mother’s Day, if your mother is here, hug her, hold her and comfort her. If she pulls away, stay the course. Look deep into her eyes and tell her that you see her. If you can, thank her for doing her best.

And if you’re gathering with your own children this morning, thank them for the joy they have brought into your life. Thank them for the honor and privilege it’s been to raise them.

Mothering requires us to do our best all the time. No one gets it totally right, but it has been my honor to try. That’s why this morning, I’m going to be loving on my kids. And if one of them hugs me, I’ll relax into their embrace. Being mothered never loses its impact.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who have mothered and who are mothering. May you stay the course. May you know that what you are doing is what the world needs more of. May you never doubt the importance of what you do. And may you enjoy it along the way. Any time the job gets hard, just remember this: mothering is the most important job in the entire world. It’s not easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things we’ll ever do. I’m so grateful to my children for the fun, laughter, and wonder they’ve brought to my life. How rewarding it has been to raise them and watch them grow. How amazing it is to be their mom.

Love,

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P.S. I hope you’ll also remember today that some moms face challenges due to poverty, lack of healthcare, etc. Please consider donating to a cause that benefits mothers. Or, give to The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement and support our mission to protect the minds of all the women we love.

Dear God, thank you for the gift of the women in my life who have mothered me. May I never forget to thank them, embrace them, and cherish them for all that they’ve given me.

If you are local…
Vote with Your Pocketbook and Support Organizations that Support San Diego!

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Refer a Friend and get $40 each!

Now your friends and family can earn $40 once when they open any one of these services and meet the promotion criteria:

  • Checking Account
  • Credit Card
  • Auto Loan
  • Personal Loan
  • Mortgage Loan
  • Home Equity Loan

And, you’ll earn $40 for referring them to Mission Fed!

Tell your friends to open an account by June 30, 2019!

Make sure your friends and family take advantage of this great offer and have them bring the coupon from our website with them when they visit the branch. There’s no limit to how many people you can refer!

Plus, all year long we are rewarding members with our $1 Million Mission Fed Money Match. Are you next?

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The new primary member must be 18 years of age, open Mission Fed eligible accounts and meet the minimum transaction requirements for the accounts they choose by 6/30/19. To be eligible, the new member may not be a signer on a Mission Fed account within the last twelve (12) months. The new member must be eligible for membership and all accounts and loans are subject to approval. The new Checking Account must have a minimum of five (5) eligible member-initiated transactions completed and posted to the account prior to the 91st day of initial account opening. A Mission Fed Credit Card must be opened with a minimum of five (5) purchase transactions or one (1) balance transfer posted within 90 days of initial account opening. New Auto Loans, Personal Loans, Mortgage Loans and Home Equity Loans must be funded within 90 days of initial account opening. Indirect auto loans, share secured loans and auto leases are not eligible for this promotion. A Savings, Checking or Money Market Account must be opened in addition to the new loan or credit card. Upon satisfaction of the above requirements, the $40 will be automatically deposited to the new member and referring member accounts on the 91st day of the new member’s initial account opening. $500 minimum balance required to earn .05% Annual Percentage Yield on Smart Checking as of 5/1/19. The rate may change after account opening. APY is accurate as of the last dividend declaration date. Fees may reduce earnings on the account. Visit MissionFed.com/Refer-A-Friend for Official Rules, a list of eligible member-initiated transactions and other details. No other promotional offer may be used in conjunction with this special offer. Programs, rates, terms, conditions and services are subject to change without notice. For Mission Fed Money Match, certain restrictions apply; visit MissionFed.com/MoneyMatch for Official Rules.

Insured by NCUA
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Equal Housing Lender

Mission Federal Credit Union
P.O. Box 919023, San Diego, CA 92191-9023 | 858.524.2850 | 800.500.6328 | MissionFed.com

Copyright © 2019 Mission Federal Credit Union – Rates, terms, conditions and services subject to change without notice.

Thanks this week go to Cathy S, Ron M and Caring Moms Everywhere!
Please Pay it Forward with Purpose
Love,
Neville

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/NevilleB108
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria

“God made the world for the delight of human beings.”—Mother Teresa

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