The Benefit of Doing Things You’re Bad at with Arthur C. Brooks: To learn a difficult new skill means risking failure—but it’s also a path to greater happiness. January 30, 2025 Between my university lectures and outside speeches about the science of happiness, I do a lot of public speaking and am always looking for ways to do so with more clarity and fluency. To that end, I regularly give talks in two languages that are not my own—not random languages, of course, but rather those I learned as an adult: Spanish and Catalan…
It’s time to change your relationship with dopamine: Going on a ‘dopamine detox’ probably isn’t going to boost your mood and focus. February 02, 2025 These days the internet is crowded with videos, articles and hacks promising the route to reset your brain’s reward system and rediscover the joy in life’s simple pleasures. One method, in particular, has gained traction and is being touted by influencers as a quick fix for restoring focus and lowering your level of stimulation. It’s called dopamine detoxing
The trouble with ‘donating our dopamine’ to our phones, not our friends: “Smartphones make our alone time feel more crowded than it used to be,” says journalist Derek Thompson. His article in The Atlantic is called “The Anti-Social Century.”
Neuroscience Says This Simple Habit Boosts Your Memory and Improves Cognitive Flexibility: It’s promising advice for any busy business leader—and tasty, too.
U.S. Surgeon General: This is ‘one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness’ “Whether we’re lonely or not has to to do with the quality of connections in our life, not the quantity,” Murthy said.
This 1 thing is a ‘powerful source of joy,’ says U.S. Surgeon General Increased loneliness can lead poor mental and physical health. One remedy, Murthy says, is to invest in relationships.
The U.S. Surgeon General Has One Last Piece of Advice As he prepares to end his second term in office, Dr. Vivek Murthy reflects on the nation’s biggest impediment to health.
In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist; And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist; And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew; And then… they came for me. ..And by that time there was no one left to speak up. –Rev Martin Niemoller, January 1946
Want Good Luck this Year? Try these Lunar New Year traditions
Longevity Experts Reveal Their Non-negotiables for Aging as Slowly and Healthily as Possible
Is It Better to Be Kind or Nice?
And Something to Bust Your Heart Wide Open!
“Teachers can open the door, but you must enter it yourself.” – Chinese Proverb
Gung Hay Fat Choy!
Want Good Luck this Year? Try these Lunar New Year traditions:
Each culture celebrating the Lunar New Year has traditions passed down from generation to generation that are thought to bring good luck. Here are a few for you…
Longevity Experts Reveal Their Non-negotiables for Aging as Slowly and Healthily as Possible: Focus on heath span, not life span with these 5 easy tips!
The best ways to add years to your life are basically free.
Embracing What Is Unfolding As a Sign of Spiritual Growth
Focusing on the Wrong $#!+
NPR Readers share wishes for 2025
Leading From Where You Are At
“An individual has not started living
until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns
to the broader concerns of all humanity.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Embracing What Is Unfolding As a Sign of Spiritual Growth with Mehrad N:
Three Reminders
As we enter this new year, we find ourselves in an era marked by a heightened level of societal division and significant change. It’s no longer just about policy differences; fundamental social principles like truth, ethics, morality, and respect don’t seem to hold the same value as before.
The following three reminders can help us maintain our footing and let our spirit shine in this new year.
1
By Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
This reminds us that, at our core, nothing has changed. The essence of who we are remains intact. It is our humanness—the challenges of navigating social norms—that raises questions, leading us to the second reminder.
2
A Quote Often Attributed to Mother Teresa
“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.”
3
A Story from Swami Veda Bharati’s Book: Wholehearted
A Virbal Story
Let me share a story about the Mughal Emperor Akbar and his wise minister, Virbal. All the courtiers were jealous of Virbal because he was clearly the emperor’s favorite. They asked the emperor, “What does Virbal have that we do not?” The emperor promised to answer on another day.
One morning, as his courtiers gathered, the emperor presented a challenge. He drew a line on the board and asked them to “make the line shorter.” It seemed easy! One courtier rushed to erase part of the line.
The emperor stopped him, saying, “No, no. Shorten the line, but do not touch it!”
That was a real puzzle. Nobody could solve it. Finally, the emperor called on Virbal. Virbal got up, took a piece of chalk, and drew a longer, parallel line beneath the emperor’s line:
_________________ the emperor’s line
_______________________Virbal’s line
“Your line is shorter now, Your Majesty,” Virbal declared.
In doing this, there was no need to diminish the work of another or to compete. Virbal went deep within (this is meditation!) and focused on the task at hand. Whoever remains calm, centered, and self-controlled can act constructively and with humility. Whoever learns from the wise will surely achieve “success without competing.”
My fellow travelers,
remember who you truly are,
remember why you do what you do.
remember how to succeed without competing.
Love · Serve · Remember
NPR Readers share wishes for 2025: Be kind to each other and Earth! Learn from birds! We asked our readers to make a wish for 2025. If even one of these wishes comes true, the world will definitely be a better place!
As of January of 2025, I just became President of NCPC San Diego.
The North County Philanthropy Council brings nonprofit professionals, volunteers, donors, and businesses together for one purpose – to uplift our community. We know there is power in working together and by connecting and sharing knowledge, we strengthen our nonprofit leaders and professionals. These connections are valuable and vital to enhancing philanthropic impact in our community.
We are fostering authentic connections, committed to growing emerging leaders and providing quality programs that drive value to our community.
Here are a few upcoming events if you are looking to upskill, connect and work collaboratively to make a difference in our region. Please join us if you feel inspired!
NCPC Oceanside Chamber of Commerce Networking Connector: Get to know fellow nonprofit peers, learn about what we can provide together, and promote your cause in a casual and fun environment:
NCPC Mentorship Program Info Session Webinar: If you are interested in a coaching and mentorship program, lead by some of the most experienced leaders in the sector that is focused on emerging leaders, so our ecosystem is more reflective and representative of our demography please join us.
NCPC Meet The Funders Panel Program: Join us as we hear from the Rancho Santa Fe Foundation, the Lucky Duck Foundation and the Jewish Community Foundation about the state of philanthropy locally. Gain valuable insights about the San Diego ecosystem and your part in it.
“An organization cannot rise above its level of leadership.”—John Maxwell
Think about it for a second…
Leadership is not a position, it’s a decision!
It’s not where you stand in the hierarchy, or on the org chart. Its how you show up and positively impact your world and others.
Authentic, embodied leadership is sorely needed in every aspect of society, and you are the person the world is waiting for.
How can you improve your leadership impact and get the most out of the leadership amplification effect?
Why do some leaders flounder in a crisis, and other’s deliver with calm and aplomb in super stressful circumstances?
Language matters. Science says using this 4-word phrase instead of ‘thank you’ will make you a better leader.
How does one balance the dualities of both hard and soft skills in fostering a high performance, high fulfillment culture?
How does effective coaching benefit leaders?
Does your self-talk shape your potential to be your best self and to be the best leader you can be?
This week you can listen, learn, and love the latent leadership potential with in you.
You’ve got this!!
Rising to the Occasion- Wellness 2.0 on Hidden Brain:
From time to time, all of us are called upon to do hard or even seemingly impossible things. Do we rise to the occasion, or do we fall short? Today on the show, we examine the psychology of pushing through a crisis. We talk with psychologist Adam Galinsky about great leaders, and what they can teach us about being steadfast in the face of challenges.
The Hard and Soft of Great Leadership: Mastering Dualities in Business with Moshe E:
The Hard and Soft of Great Leadership: Mastering Dualities in Business Years ago, I studied a form of Karate called Gōjū-ryū, which means “hard and soft.” This duality fascinated me. On one hand, the martial art was about sharp, decisive movements; on the other, fluid, adaptable ones. Strength and flexibility in perfect harmony. Learning how to deal with apparent opposites is a major growth edge for many top executives I coach. The fact is, leadership inherently means living in a land of dualities. Growth and stability. Innovation and tradition. Directing and empowering. Consider for yourself: What dualities are you currently navigating in your leadership? Are there areas where you’re leaning too far into one side at the expense of the other? If you lean too far into one side, the other can suffer. Go too “hard,” and you risk rigidity. Too much “soft,” and you might lack direction. True leadership embraces both.
How to Balance Dualities The trick? It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. Balancing dualities is where leadership magic happens. Here are three common examples: Here’s the truth: clarity builds trust and respect. When everyone knows what’s expected and when, it reduces uncertainty and fosters confidence in the process. Trust is the secret sauce that makes delegation work. Decisiveness and Patience: Great leaders know when to act decisively to seize opportunities and when to exercise patience to allow clarity to emerge. Balancing urgency with thoughtful timing creates impactful decisions. Structure and Creativity: Foster innovation by creating a framework that provides clear guidance and boundaries while leaving enough space for imagination and original ideas to thrive. Productivity and innovation can coexist. Confidence and Vulnerability: You can project self-confidence while also being willing to admit mistakes, ask for help, and show your human side. This balance allows leaders to connect deeply with their teams through a combination of strength and relatability.
5 Amare Action Steps to Master Dualities1. Identify your hard and soft. Reflect on your leadership style. Where can you add strength without losing flexibility, and vice versa? 2. Reframe the opposites. Look at an apparent duality in your work (e.g., purpose vs. profit) and brainstorm ways to integrate them. 3. Practice balance. In your next decision, consciously consider both sides of the equation—movement and stillness, logic and intuition—and find the harmony. 4. Model both/and thinking. Encourage your team to see opportunities for integration rather than division. Reward solutions that embrace duality. 5. Embrace adaptability. Remember, what’s hard now may need to be soft later, and vice versa. Leadership is about flowing with the needs of the moment.
Leadership: A Hard and Soft Skill The beauty of dualities is they challenge us to grow. They ask us to be strong yet flexible, purposeful yet profitable, decisive yet patient. Leading the Amare Way, putting the power of love to work, means embracing both sides—the hard and the soft—with love and wisdom. As you reflect on your leadership for this year, think about your Gōjū-ryū moments. Where can you bring strength? Where can you add flexibility? And how can you embrace the art of both/and in everything you do? After all, true leadership isn’t about choosing sides. It’s about finding harmony—and sometimes, even a little humor—in the dance of dualities.
Three Selves in Coaching with Eric K:
I’m going to pull back the curtain on my coaching approach for those of you who are into coaching your direct reports. While we agree that coaching is aimed at improving the version of the leader I’m talking with, that’s only part of the story. Effective coaching taps three dimensions of the person you’re coaching: the present self, past self (those “inner ancestors” that shape your mindset), and future self (the version of you that’s calling to be realized).
Typical coaches pay a lot of attention to the present self – the one showing up, rolling up its sleeves, and navigating the challenges of leading today. This self deserves tons of respect. It’s managing teams, balancing the demands of a high-stakes role, and shouldering responsibility for the future of the organization. A good coach honors and supports the present self so it can perform better in real time. A coach can help this self sharpen focus, make decisions, and become more resilient to stress. But if we only deal with the present, we miss a huge opportunity.
Then, there’s the past self, or as I like to call it, your “inner ancestors”. These are the versions of you shaped by previous experiences – triumphs and setbacks. Some of your past selves are like wise old relatives: they’ve been through the wars and have valuable lessons to share. Others are more like the ghosts that haunt you – the ones that didn’t heal properly from old wounds or are still holding onto outdated beliefs. I help you access these inner ancestors, resource them, honor what they’ve been through, and integrate their wisdom. It’s about learning from your own history and untangling the knots that keep you from moving forward.
And that brings us to the future self, the emergent one. This is the you that’s calling for change – the part of you that senses there’s something more ahead. This future self often shows up as a subtle itch, a feeling of dissatisfaction, or an unshakable curiosity about what might be possible. It’s not just about setting goals and working toward them; it’s about clarifying what’s beckoning you forward. It’s about listening to that inner voice that says, “I am evolving and want to be different, bigger, more aligned with who I’m becoming.” My role here is to help you define and articulate what that emergent self looks like and how you can step into that version today.
So, my coaching isn’t just about fine-tuning your performance in the present. It’s about navigating your past to access hidden resources and letting go of unhelpful baggage. It’s about clarifying what is calling from your future and how to answer its call.
Ultimately, my coaching isn’t engaging just one version of you – I work with all three. And when those three selves come into alignment, that’s where real transformation happens.
7 Pieces of Advice to Spark Some Inspiration for the New Year
To succeed in 2025, a therapist says do 5 things: It works ‘any time of year’
44 health-boosting habits to feel better in 2025
+ What Happens To Their Brain Waves When Humans And Dogs Connect?
Closing Out 2024:
77 Facts That Blew Our Minds in 2024: Chewing gum, space capsules, and minivans are just a few of the things we see differently after a year of reporting. December 28, 2024 Onions were used to treat wounds during the French and Indian War. The energy required to show a new Instagram post from Cristiano Ronaldo to each of his followers could power a house for several years. A group of butterflies flew across the Atlantic Ocean without stopping. It took them only about eight days and more…
7 Pieces of Advice to Spark Some Inspiration for the New Year:
Be so great, you can’t be ignored.
Take care of the work and the work will take care of you.
Growth is on the other side of discomfort.
Failure teaches you everything you need to know to be successful.
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.
There’s only one person you spend all your time with and that’s you, so do yourself a favor and be as fascinating as possible.
I’d rather regret the things I did than the things I never tried.
To succeed in 2025, a therapist says do 5 things: It works ‘any time of year’ To shift from ineffective resolutions to meaningful manifesting any time of year, says psychotherapist Chamin Ajjan, follow these practical tips.
44 health-boosting habits to feel better in 2025: A full night without waking is not the norm, and that’s OK. “Waking at night need not mean the end of sleep,” says Russell Foster, a professor of circadian neuroscience at Oxford University. “Some find it useful to leave the bed, keep the lights low and engage in a relaxing activity before returning when sleepy again.” It’s the biggest cliché in self-help, but how many of us do it? “Dare to be vulnerable enough to be all of yourself for most of the time,” the psychotherapist Philippa Perry says.
What Happens To Their Brain Waves When Humans And Dogs Connect? It turns out there’s a scientific explanation for our strong bond to our dogs. Here’s how your pup influences your brain’s activity.
“The Path to Greatness is Paved with Patience, Persistence and Purpose”
When kindness becomes a habit, it improves our health: Whether it’s volunteering at a local school or taking soup to a sick neighbor, improving the welfare of others can also improve our own physical and mental health, a sizable body of research shows.
Researchers have followed over 700 people since 1938 to find the keys to happiness. Here’s what they discovered: The secret to happiness is more in our control than we think.
Tech billionaire’s 5-word piece of advice for a successful future: Billionaire Nandan Nilekani says soft skills will make professionals more successful in the age of AI. Here are a few you should prioritize.
Fighting snow leopards clinch top spot in the prestigious Nature Photographer of the Year 2024 competition Migrating wildebeest, a pet tiger and the vibrant colors of an octopus all win prizes in this year’s Nature Photographer of the Year. Results are in for the Nature Photographer of the Year 2024 competition, presented by Nature Talks. This year’s overall winner is Paolo Della Rocca from Italy, with his dramatic shot entitled ‘Games Between Siblings’.
7 of our best science-based tips for mental and cognitive health: Learn how mindfulness, sleep and other simple changes can improve your mental and cognitive well-being.
As we glide into the final days of 2024, I’m keen to remind us that meditation isn’t another task to check off our list, but a devotion to the art of being.
Like our Pacific ocean’s tides – ebbing and flowing day in and day out – our practice trains us to return, again and again, to being rooted, to rising, and to relaxing into experience. We sit not to become better, but to remember that we are already whole.
Each breath, each moment, is an invitation to waking up to reality – to meet life as it is, with open hearts and open minds. In 2025, I invoke for us all to keep our practice steady, like the sun rising each morning.
It is this gentle devotion that beckons the deepest truth and nurtures a peace within us. With warmth and presence,
Eric
Thanks this week go to Eric K for reminding us why we practice, and to all of you who share the soul food spirit of love and purpose every day.
Please pay it forward and happy holidays everyone!
As night stretches here, day contracts elsewhere. And in their night, we are bathed in light. In all nights there is light, in long days there can be ache too. For you, we call the sun to stand still a while, and the moon too, and stars, and the waters and the heavens. Hells as well — just for a second, just for a breath. May that breath rest you. And may each breath rest you, as it has until now, and now and now. This one, after that one, after that one after that.
A simple exercise from Yale’s Happiness Lab will help you make decisions that lead to long-term happiness: The creator of Yale’s popular class discusses how to transform your self-talk, change how you experience stress, and create space for serendipity.
13 marvelous images from the European Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards: A polar bear sits seemingly unbothered by a heavy snowstorm pummeling down. Photographer Daniel Valverde Fernandez captured the moment (seen above) the bear gave a vigorous shake to send the powder flying into the swirling winds.
If you can answer ‘yes’ to 6 questions, you’re more successful than you think
5 science-backed habits that will actually make you happier
Tai chi isn’t just for seniors. The workout boosts strength, flexibility, and longevity, no matter what your age
Plus, some Pure Fun
If you can answer ‘yes’ to 6 questions, you’re more successful than you think Scott Mautz, a former senior executive, has spent 30 years studying what makes people mentally strong and successful. Here’s a mini-assessment.
Tai chi isn’t just for seniors. The workout boosts strength, flexibility, and longevity, no matter what your age Plus, getting started is easy. Here’s how.
Happy Soul Food Friday! 