Happy Soul Food Friday!
“I am blessed to live in a democracy, not a totalitarian state. But the democracy I cherish is constantly threatened by a brand of politics that clothes avarice and the arrogance of power in patriotic and religious garb.”—Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness
In a world in dire need of civility, San Diego has embarked on a Community Heroes campaign created by KPBS and the National Conflict Resolution Center, with sponsorship support from the San Diego Foundation, the Jewish Community Foundation and Mission Fed, honoring individuals who give selflessly to build civility and community.
We are proud to honor the first Community Hero of 2017 for her work on racial justice and equality, Elizabeth Bustos, and here are some remarks shared about Ms. Bustos at the inaugural lunch this past week..
Greetings fellow foot soul-diers committed to the cause of equity, inclusion and social justice!
Thanks for affording each of us the opportunity to be part of today’s amazing experience celebrating Ms. Bustos and by extension, all the community heroes making a difference of consequence in creating America’s kindest region.
Please forward this on, as EID (equity, inclusivity and diversity) are core values of this work…
Thanks for “championing the un-champion-able” and tackling racial injustice HEAD ON in South-East San Diego and by extension in our extended community with a little help from your friends!
It is no co-incidence that heart health is the underpinning of your decades of work towards healing and wholeness.
Your journey of heart health has taken our community from anger to courage to compassion.
Our collective journey of heart is moving us from broken hearts to whole-heartedness, and so vitally needed at this critical time in our EVOL (love backwards) –ution
You are modeling and mentoring how each of us, in our own ways, can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones with grace and forgiveness applying equal parts; history lesson, civic engagement and assessing our own risk and/or contribution to this equation to advancing the human race.
Let’s remember, even the heart pumps blood to itself first…
Thanks for bringing voice to the silent killer that is anything but silent; as so many voices are crying out for dignity, truth and no excuses, birthed in a legitimate anger embedded in the pain of our existence, which serves as a foil to unmask the “posers” from the legitimate and committed change makers, which the people in the room today clearly represent.
Yes, Ms. Virtue has a great name.
But, you Ms. Bustos do too, and we can all learn from you:
B= Benevolence and a genuine love of humanity in all its manifestations
U= Universal truths that you speak and remind us all to hold sacrosanct
S= Social Justice, which should remain our moral compass in this journey
T= Togetherness/Inclusivity where we are all interconnected and interdependent (If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far, go together)
O= Own It! We all have a role to play in being part of the solution. A part or apart. That little space makes a big difference!
S= Service before self and subordinating our personal needs for the greater good
Trust and Truth
Inspired by your courage, compassion and conviction…
Nominate a Hero!
The next critical topic is Affordable Housing and we welcome your nominations of people who:
Represent the topic of interest.
Promote community, collaboration and civility.
Showcase creative problem solving.
Support and align with the missions of KPBS and NCRC, and that of the program.
Resonate with and inspire our community (and have emotional impact).
Have significant indirect or direct community impact. You can nominate them here:https://kpbsoutreach.wufoo.com/forms/z1u0mm7g0nq8o40/
Happiness and Life Satisfaction: Our Word in Data
There is no doubt that the positive or negative view that we have of our lives is of huge importance to each of us. For this reason economists frequently recommend to include measures of subjective well-being in measures of social progress – and in particular to augment the usual measure of economic prosperity, GDP…
“Vision without Execution is hallucination.”
I believe every one of us has a desire to accomplish great things, to do something meaningful, to have an impact. Yet, so many of us don’t take the actions necessary to create the success we desire. Then there are others who are very busy taking actions but the actions have nothing to do with their vision and goals. They’ve become lost in the busyness of life.
In my work with sports teams, businesses and organizations I have found that the key to individual and team success is to Zoom Focus. Zoom Focus helps you turn ideas and goals into reality and results. Zoom Focus helps you focus on your priorities, execute, and create success. Zoom Focus helps you take daily steps towards your big picture vision.
Now more than ever it is a time for action. It is a time for getting things done. It is a time to tune out the distractions and the noise from the doomsdayers and the naysayers and focus on what truly matters and what truly will help us create success. In this spirit here are a few ways to put Zoom Focus to work for you and your team.
Create your Big Picture Vision – This might be a goal or a dream. It might be a project that needs to be completed or a sale you are trying to close. It might be a company objective or a team mission. It might be a book you want to write, an initiative to improve your community, or a championship you want to win. Identify your vision and then you’ll be ready to Zoom Focus and take the necessary actions to get you there.
Ask One Question – Each day when you wake up in the morning ask the question, “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then each day take action on those three things.
Tune out the Distractions – Turn off the television. Stop answering the phone. Don’t answer email right now. Talk to your friend later. First, get things done. Execute, accomplish and then feel free to embrace the distractions.
Say No and Yes – My friend once told me, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” He reminded me that we need to stop scattering our energy and wasting our time on trivial things that have nothing to do with our vision and goals and start saying yes to our priorities and to what truly matters. Each day we must make choices and those choices including saying “no” to people and opportunities so we can say “yes” to the work we are meant to do and the success we are meant to create.
Focus on Daily Improvement – I see it in sports all the time. Teams focus too much on winning the championship and forget to Zoom Focus each day in practice. They are outcome focused not process focused. The key is to focus on improving each day and take the necessary action steps. If you incrementally improve each day, each week, each month, each quarter, by the end of the year you’ll see remarkable results and growth. When you Zoom Focus on the process the outcome takes care of itself.
Teach Your Daughters Well:
The Three Things We Must Teach Our Daughters
In today’s society, women are suffering. Our young women are suffering. My granddaughters are suffering. Not because they are incompetent or weak, but because society tells them day-in and day-out that they are NOT good enough.
These conflicting messages become apparent as early as pre-teen years because our daughters look around and become very aware that males have privileges that they do not, and they realize they live in a male centered world. So, it’s no surprise girls become great at becoming something they are not. Change is needed.
My advocacy of women came about because of deep and sustained research of leadership effectiveness that the Gap company asked me to do. What I discovered at Gap was that women have distinctive advantages in leading teams and organizations that rely on collaboration. Women are especially able to create and implement innovation that people and their customers valued, and women especially excel in conditions of ambiguity and change.
My subsequent research took me deep into the field of neuropsychology. This is a new field that studies the interactive effects of our brain biology and social environment. This led me to understand how negative impact of systemic bias severely limits the lack of confidence that most women battle when fulfilling their potential in the workplace. It also inhibits women’s happiness and life satisfaction.
Put simply, it’s a man’s world. It has been for thousands of years. And the world we currently have is about as good as male brains can make it. It doesn’t appear to be good enough.
Due to the explosion of world population from 2.5 billion to 7.5 billion people the last 60 years, and an unprecedented advancement of technology, everything in our world has become more intensely interconnected. It turns out, the holistic neuro networks of female brains are better designed to deal with this complexity than the linear brains of most males. However, unless women’s voices and thinking versatility is elevated to the highest levels of our institutions, the short term, binary, blue brain thinking of testosterone thinking will continue to dominate.
We need to train our daughters to overcome the female self-doubt that is driven by the bias in our world culture. We need to obliterate the limits of women’s contributions that will lead to better business, better government and a better world.
In my women’s leadership training I summarize the mindset of successful high functioning women leaders. It is based on years of leadership science that examines the results of 360° leadership surveys and the business results achieved by high impact women leaders. It is also very relevant in teaching and raising young girls.
The foundation is confidence. Confidence arises when you believe that the result of your best efforts will be successful. When you don’t have that experience because others, who are less capable, are consistently given more opportunities and advantages than you, it is natural for your confidence to erode. Too often, women settle for jobs which are designed to help other people achieve their goals. But for our world to work for everyone young girls and women need to pursue their goals.
The confident mindset is built on three principles:
1.Be BRIGHT: Carol Dweck’s growth mindset research confirms that if you have an IQ of 115, you can learn anything. You can become a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon. You can certainly become the President of United States. This idea is new for women. In 1960, nearly all major universities would not except women into their engineering programs. 1960! Most states would not license women to become architects until the 1950s because architecture was considered too technical a field for women to master. Unfortunately, that mindset lingers. We have to actively build a confidence of our girls that they are intellectually, socially, and emotionally gifted to learn whatever they need to learn to make the greatest contribution they can make in whatever field they choose. Teach your daughters that they can learn anything.
2.Be BRAVE. Personal bravery is a willingness to try things at the outer edge of your competence. When you are brave enough to push yourself out of your comfort zone your learning and development expands. One of the greatest abilities of women is their mental and social agility which allows them to move beyond mistakes and shortcomings to endlessly become better and better. Recent research from McKinsey and Company reveals that women continue to seek and grow from feedback after age 40. The research found that as men age they tend to respond to negative feedback defensively. They become more self-justifying. For women, the greatest deterrent to bravery is perfectionism. Teach your daughters that a well lived life is a life of progress not perfection.
3. Be TRUE. In the Facebook era, we swim in an ocean of social comparison. But high functioning people do not define themselves by comparing their looks, their achievements or their stuff to anyone else’s. To be true means that you consistently invest the inner energy necessary to understand your unique motivated talents. These are the abilities that you love to use and develop. These are talents that can be harnessed in the service of what intrinsically rewards you. When your highest motives and your greatest talents are combined you’re on the path to fulfillment.
You are not your body.
You are not your achievements.
You are not your grades.
You are not your friends.
You are not your emotions.
You are not your fears.
You are not any of these things because all of these things change. You are something much deeper. You have an intrinsic, essential self that is gently seeking to be fully realized. You’re not seeking self-fulfillment as much as soul fulfillment. This is not an airy- fairy, quacky notion. It is the conclusion of the collective wisdom of thousands of years of philosophers and spiritual leaders worldwide. And after three decades of helping people fulfill their inner sense of purpose as well as their professional and personal goals, it is also my strongest conviction. Teach your daughters not to be defined by anyone else, and to seek soul fulfillment.
These are the things to teach your daughters and the young girls in our communities. One of the greatest benefits in teaching them these three principles is that you will more fully become the truth that you teach. For it is in our examples that the most powerful teachers emerge, always.
If You Are Local:
Teach Your Parents Well…
TEDx Youth Event in Encinitas on Saturday, April 1, 2017
TEDx Encinitas is a TEDx Youth event with a twist… Instead of adults sharing their wisdom with youth, at this event the speakers are the young people (ages 11-21) and the audience is predominantly adults. Come hear the wisdom of some incredible young minds share their perspective on the theme “Changing Voices”. The event goes from 1:00 – 6:00 PM and will include an entire experience including entertainment and experiential activities in addition to the speakers. If you are committed to supporting our youth this is the place to be!
For tickets or more information go to www.tedxencinitas.com or call Robert MacPhee at (760) 846-0312.
Thanks this week go to Community Heroes, sung and unsung everywhere, Paul S, Larry H, Will M, Robert M, and all the children that teach their parents well!
Please Pay it Forward
“Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not.
We heal our wounds with the love we wish we’d received, but are often blind to the wounds we inflict.”
― Andrew Solomon