Month: August 2016

Happy Soul Food Friday!

“Let one who would enjoy a good future waste none of their present.”
– Roger Babson

People have personalities & Companies, and Countries have cultures

Our shared beliefs, values, mores and memes shape how we see and experience the world, suggesting that while we think the world is out there, and the mind is in here, it is actually the opposite! The world is within, and one of our making and the mind is out there shaped and influenced by our social systems.

How hard it is to own your mind…
Don’t believe everything you THINK!

This week’s submissions reveal some of our social conditioning/hypnosis and invite us, in Bob Marley’s words -in my opinion still a bigger legend than Usain Bolt- to “emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourselves can free our minds”.

If I have been “down so long it looks like up to me”, I am liable to make poor decisions and behave into personal, professional and even political decisions that may not be in my/our best interest…

This week:

Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid”
http://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tedspread

Of Airports, Kit Kats and Brainlessness:
A great story with a surprise ending!
http://www.stevefarber.com/blog/2012/02/23/of-airports-kit-kats-and-brainlessness/

Who Controls Your Moods?
When you are with positive, supportive, and loving people, you feel happier and more content, and you live longer.

This is not only intuitively true but research has demonstrated it again and again…
http://www.amenclinics.com/blog/who-controls-your-moods/

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery none but ourselves can free our minds”:
Bob Marley- Redemption song

INNER PEACE:
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones
are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual on you…

Thanks, this week go to Alexis C, Steve F, Daniel A, Bob M & Larry H.

Pay it forward!

Love,
Neville

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” ~ Hafiz

 

Happy Soul Food Friday!

It is back to school season and with a son off to college and a daughter off to high school I could sure use YOUR help…

What soul-filled pearls of wisdom would you have for all these young people starting new chapters (or for us parents for that matter)?

Send us your GEMs (genuine encounter moments) and we will aggregate and post them in a subsequent Soul Food so we can all benefit from the collective wisdom of this ecosystem.

Meanwhile, here are a couple of related links to energize you and keep you smiling…

Can’t Stop the Feeling:

It’s back to school time and our friends in Cajon Valley Union School District made a welcome back video that is going viral with almost 17,000 views in 3 days!

Check it out here:

Why Kids Need More Empathy:

If you are greatly concerned about our kid’s emotional and moral health…

http://micheleborba.com/why-kids-need-more-empathy-my-answer-to-time/

Back to School: 4 Ways to Prepare for Your Child’s School Year:

Is the back to school frenzy making you feel a bit stressed?

Here is something for kids, parents and educators alike…

http://www.chopra.com/ccl/back-to-school-4-ways-to-prepare-for-your-childs-school-year

If you are local:

Documented: A Film by an Undocumented American:

Dear friends and colleagues,

As a San Diego Grantmakers Board member and co-chair of its Social Equity Funders collaboration, I wanted to personally reach out and ask you to attend The Equity Event on September 9.

Equity is embedded in all of our philanthropy – whether you focus on education, homelessness, foster youth, workforce and the economy, health, the environment…need I go on? So it is critical that we all pause to consider our own role in improving equity – or said another way, eliminating inequity – through our grantmaking. How can you increase participation and leadership by people of color in the projects and programs that you support? Who are you listening to and are you acting on the feedback you’re given? Can your organization’s internal policies and practices on equity be improved?

These are just some of the ideas we’ll tackle at this half-day event featuring local and national experts in preparation for going deeper next year on issues like intersectionality, structural racism, implicit bias, gender discrimination, mass incarceration, and more.

And to kick off the event and get us thinking about one group’s perspective on equity, we’ll be hosting a special evening reception and screening of “Documented: A Film by an Undocumented American” on September 8.

Please join me at one or both of these important events.

Kind Regards,

Steve

P.S. Early bird registration ends this Friday, August 19

BLACK GIRLZ ROCK SAN DIEGO CONCERT TICKETS:

Dear Friends & Family,
I’m excited to be a featured performer for San Diego’s 1st Black Girlz
Rock Concert!

The details are below, & I hope to see your beautiful face in the
audience when I’m on stage singing my heart out!

When: Saturday August 20, 2016

Time: 8PM (Doors 7PM)

Where: Port Pavilion on Broadway Pier 1000 North Harbor Drive SD, CA 92101

Tickets: https://bgrsd.splashthat.com/

Scroll down to where it says: BLACK GIRLZ ROCK CONCERT TICKETS

Love.
ISHE

If you are National…

Thanks this week go to:

• Cajon Valley Union School District & Meg M for forwarding the link
• Sara S and Compassion IT
• Steve E and the San Diego Grantmakers team
• Starla and Ishe
• Dean Johnson at SDSU and the team at the National Excellence in Urban Education
• and Andrea M for helping with Soul Food Friday for many years!

Don’t forget to send us your GEMS so we can pay it forward, backward and sideways!

Love,

Neville

 

“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do…

But how much love we put in that action”

–Mother Teresa

 

Happy Soul Food Friday!

“For the next phase of ‘her-story’, men simply can’t stay quiet!” –Neville

Which narrative consumes you?

Divisive, negative, if it bleeds it leads, sensationalism and fearmongering as we are currently experiencing in our Electoral Politics?

Or

Heroic stories of hard work, triumph, impossible odds, and the triumph of spirit over fear as we are currently experiencing with the Olympics?

With both dominating the airwaves and digital screens which one calls you?

Given the choice of a political rant or a Olympic cheer which energy resonates most with you?
What does that say about us as a people or as a country?

There are two stories of his/her story; one of inadequacy, fear and division, and the other of empowerment, love and unity.

Winning the Story Wars is a great way to understand this dichotomy and choose the narrative that reflects your best self.

WinningTheStoryWars_PreviewBooklet

Which story line will reflect your life and contribution.

Whatever slice of the equity, diversity and inclusion pie that matters most to you, it is time to take a stand…

If I am not a perpetrator and not a victim then I can’t just be a relegated to a bystander for that suggests I am a tolerator

Trigger Warning: This Soul Food Friday contains potentially distressing material for some, but the Meet Bob pictures at the end should reset your energy…

This week:

Politics Aside, this is What a Feminist Looks Like:

It is absolutely men’s responsibility to fight sexism too.

The most important change may be the toughest of all – and that’s changing ourselves…

http://www.glamour.com/story/glamour-exclusive-president-barack-obama-says-this-is-what-a-feminist-looks-like

Sign in Copenhagen right by a strip club

Human Trafficking Right Here in San Diego: A Study

These are our daughters, sisters, friends and mothers…

https://www.sandiego.edu/peacestudies/research-fieldwork/human-trafficking-study.php

Some Key Findings:

• Sex trafficking is San Diego’s 2^nd largest underground economy after drug trafficking. The underground sex economy represents an estimated $810 million in annual revenue
• At least 110 gangs are involved in commercial exploitation of people (CSEP).
• Our sample of traffickers in prison contained roughly an equal number of white, black and Hispanic facilitators
• 15 years old is the average age of entry into child commercial sexual exploitation (CSEC)
• Sex trafficking facilitators control 4.5 victim/survivors on average
• 42% of first-time prostitution arrests are in fact cases involving sex trafficking
• Domestic trafficking accounts for the majority of CSEP
• Transborder criminal networks are involved in trafficking minors and adults between Mexico and the United States. 20% of trafficking victims referred to service providers come from Mexico and 10 other countries
• Female recruiters and pimp/sex trafficking facilitators are perceived to be a significant and growing feature of the underground sex economy
• Significant CSEC recruitment is happening on high school and middle school campuses

https://www.sandiego.edu/peacestudies/research-fieldwork/human-trafficking-study.php

To Prevent Sexual Assault, Schools and Parents Start Lessons Early:

Experts say the sooner parents broach the subject the better. College, they say, is usually way too late.

http://www.npr.org/2016/08/09/487497208/to-prevent-sexual-assault-schools-and-parents-start-lessons-early

Be Counted Join He For She:

See who else is leaning in…

http://www.heforshe.org/en

Meet Bob and his friends

If I am not a perpetrator and not a victim then I can’t just be a relegated to a bystander for that suggests I am a tolerator

Elevate awareness for and help us help ourselves!

Thanks this week to Rex H, all the women (and men) of Aoinagi Ken Shu Kai celebrating 35 years in the wisdom traditions with a commitment to equity, diversity and inclusion as well as all you peaceful warriors everywhere!

Pay it forward…

Love,

Neville

 

“The education of attention would be an education par excellence.” –William James

 

Happy Soul Food Friday!

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your count that votes

 This week:

• Puns for Educated Minds
• Stop Being So Hard on Yourself!
• The Power of a Positive Attitude
• Healing Racial Divides and Building Resilience
• California’s Most Beautiful Places

A Crazy Dog Vid:

If You Are Local…

• Mana Latina Success Conference Oct 15^th 2016

Puns for Educated Minds:

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky-maker but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from a geometry class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A  sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: “Keep off the Grass.”

15. The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine .

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal:            transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself:

I hope you’re having a good week so far.
The topic today is a common way to get things done, to achieve and to motivate yourself.
But it also comes at a price. It can tear yourself-esteem down. Suck the fun and excitement out of things and make you perform worse and worse over time.
So what can you do if you want to stop being so hard on yourself?
Well, three things that have helped me to do that are…

1. Remind yourself of the negative effects of this attitude.
To just remind yourself of how damaging being hard on yourself has been is in my experience a very effective way to replace the old habit with going easier on yourself.

2. Go for more human and smarter standards for yourself.
Movies, books and the people around you may push standards on you that are just pure fantasy or some kind of perfect dream.
But life is life, not a fantasy or dream and to set such extremely high standards that no one can live up to just leads to what you may see as failure and disappointment in yourself and in your life.
Instead, relax a bit and accept that everything and everyone has flaws and things don’t always go as planned.
Accept that you can still improve things but they will never be perfect.
And realize that you won’t be rejected if things or you aren’t perfect. At least not by reasonably well-balanced human beings, like most people actually are in reality.

3. Focus on the positive and helpful feedback in setbacks.
It’s very common to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake or fail.
But it is also a very destructive habit because it can magnify one such event into something that makes you feel depressed for weeks or makes you quit altogether.
So when you are hard on yourself for a failure or mistake then relax a bit and go a bit easier on yourself. Remind yourself of why this is a much better strategy to keep the motivation and self-esteem up.

And ask yourself:
What is one thing I can I learn from this situation?
How can I use what I learn from this to not make the same mistake again and to move forward in a better and smarter way?
Have a self-kind week and joyous summer!

The Power of a Positive Attitude:

Healing Racial Divides and Building Resilience

As we mourn so many deaths recently, President Obama reminded the nation that we should live up to our highest ideals, have an open heart with one another, learn to stand in each other’s shoes and see the world through each other’s eyes.

• How do we systematically develop that sense of interdependence and interconnectedness?
• How do we heal deep racial divides and trauma that have been passed on for generations?

We know that if we want our communities to be peaceful and loving and empathetic, each one of us has to find peace, love, and empathy within ourselves.
Chronic stress is a common denominator among everyone involved in the recent killings across the nation. For example, we know that just as inner-city residents are chronically stressed, so are inner-city police officers. The more stressed we are, the lesser our ability to pay attention, regulate our emotions, and feel empathy.

• Inattention is the difference between seeing and perceiving, and that difference (reaching for a wallet or a gun), as we have seen, can be a matter of life and death.
• Emotion regulation is the difference between reacting and consciously choosing an optimal response, and that difference (relaxed and alert, or angry and afraid), as we have seen, can be a matter of life and death.
• Lack of empathy is the difference between feeling separate and feeling interconnected, and that difference (us versus them), as we have seen, can be a matter of life and death.

Practices, such as Dynamic Mindfulness or mindful movement, done regularly, develop our capacity for resilience in the face of chronic stress and trauma. These tools are for all of us – everyday citizens and police officers, parents and children, teachers and students. These practices compliment, enhance and enable all our efforts at system change.
It is time to come together as community members, neighbors and families.  In the face of chronic stress and trauma, let’s practice the transformative life skills available to us, to help us become more resilient.  Empathy and compassion for others will abound in communities that are resilient. It is on us to live up to our highest ideals, and empower others to do the same.
In Peace,
BK and all staff at Niroga

California’s Most Beautiful Places:

http://patch.com/california/encinitas/s/ftmqn/california-tops-list-of-50-most-beautiful-places-in-america?utm_source=newsletter-daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=outdoors&utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_content=article-topstories

Crazy Dog Vid:

If you are Local…

Save the Date

Mana Latina Success Conference Oct 15^th 2016  

2016 Latina Success Conference

Thanks this week go to Larry H, Henrik from The Positivity Blog, Eric K,  BK & all staff at Niroga, and the amazing Mana team…

Pay it Forward!

Love,

Neville