Happy Soul Food Friday,
What Can the Wisdom Traditions Teach Us About Winning and Losing?
A revisit from 2022. History May Not Repeat Itself, but It Sure Does Rhyme:
If we look at what have become an all-too-common cultural norm, be it in politics, business, or personal life, it seems that winning at all costs has replaced the more humane and wise notion of winning- but doing so following the rules of the game and a moral imperative.
When we look the other way, ignoring fouls and other ethical violations, are we tacitly endorsing these behaviors at best, or enabling at worst, behaviors that are antithetical to our own betterment and survival not just as individuals but as a species?
In the wisdom traditions, using traditional martial arts as a proxy, we are trained to strive for personal excellence and the contest whether in the ring of competition on in the ring of life provides a “proving ground” to test ourselves not just versus another player or contestant but against our own best potential.
Here there are 4 levels of winning and losing, not just the binary winning and losing we have become all too familiar with today.
The highest level of achievement is an honorable win. Your win is supported by right conduct and if you know you did not win cleanly you self-report the foul or incident rather than hide it under the rug or play to the chorus of if it wasn’t seen, or can’t be proved, then it didn’t happen.
One level down from this is an honorable loss. If you lost but did your best and were beaten fair and square you honor both your opponent and yourself, and learn from the experience by being a gracious “loser”. Here winning still occurs through character development, investing in loss, and remaining focused on long term growth not just short-term outcomes. Honorable losses build resiliency and forge a character of perseverance and grit.
Next comes a dishonorable win, and obviously in last place comes the dishonorable loss where despite trying every dirty trick in the book you still get your clock cleaned!
Whether it is in Olympic competition against the best in the world, or a personal competition to better oneself, it would be useful to foster a climate/culture that underscores the importance of honor and humility in the “success calculus” or we find the win meaningless, transitory, and ultimately not supportive of our individual or collective growth, not to mention our humanity.
Daily Practice:
This can also play out in our day-to-day choices; doing the right thing for the right reason, the wrong thing for the right reason, the right thing for the wrong reason and the wrong thing for the wrong reason. I will leave it to you to discern the hierarchy and Faustian bargain this path takes us to when left to its conclusion.
Much is made of Alpha animals dominating their tribe and being willing to prevail over all contenders both inside and out. (Not a fan)
Not as much is understood or appreciated about Alpha leaders, even in primates, modeling empathy and seeing their primary role as caring for and supporting their group not just terrorizing their peers and den members. (Survive of not the fittest but the most adaptable)
A real Alpha leader has the capacity to win at all costs but subordinates themselves.
I have heard altruism defined as “self-handicapping” for the greater good…
What kind of leader do you want to model, follow, or create?
Let’s start now!
Letters from an American by Heather Cox Richardson for MLK Day 2026:
On April 3, 1968, the night before the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated by a white supremacist, he gave a speech in support of sanitation workers in Memphis, Tennessee. Since 1966, King had tried to broaden the civil rights movement for racial equality into a larger movement for economic justice. He joined the sanitation workers in Memphis, who were on strike after years of bad pay and such dangerous conditions that two men had been crushed to death in garbage compactors.
After his friend Ralph Abernathy introduced him to the crowd, King had something to say about heroes: “As I listened to Ralph Abernathy and his eloquent and generous introduction and then thought about myself, I wondered who he was talking about.”
Dr. King told the audience that if God had let him choose any era in which to live, he would have chosen the one in which he had landed. “Now, that’s a strange statement to make,” King went on, “because the world is all messed up. The nation is sick. Trouble is in the land; confusion all around…. But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.” Dr. King said that he felt blessed to live in an era when people had finally woken up and were working together for freedom and economic justice.
He knew he was in danger as he worked for a racially and economically just America. “I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter…because I’ve been to the mountaintop…. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life…. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!”
People are wrong to say that we have no heroes left.
Just as they have always been, they are all around us, choosing to do the right thing, no matter what.
Wishing us all a day of peace for Martin Luther King Jr. Day/Week/Year 2026.
How small changes to the way you breathe can transform your health:
Breathing is something we do unconsciously. But knowing when and how to take conscious deep breaths could unlock a host of benefits. Right now, it feels like breathing is having a moment. Everyone’s at it, but some people are really putting in the elbow grease. Rather than ‘just’ breathing automatically, a growing number of devotees now practice deliberate exercises.
How small changes to the way you breathe can transform your health | BBC Science Focus Magazine
Exercise is as effective as medication in treating depression, study finds
New research shows exercise is as effective as medication at reducing symptoms of depression. And you don’t need to run a marathon to see benefits. So how much is enough?
Exercise relieves depression as effectively as medication, study finds : NPR
Ok.
You’ve got this.
Let’s go!
Please pay it forward with purpose,
Love,
Neville
Linked-In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nevillebillimoria
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nbillimoria
“Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve…
You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King
Happy Soul Food Friday! 